It has been a long while in stepuniverse since I last posted...
I would like to report, after reading many of my old blog posts, that things have greatly improved in my home I am expecting my second child with DH. YoungAdultSS is polite and even enjoyable when he visits our home. TeenageSD is rarely here because she chooses to stay at her mom's instead. We don't force her to visit or fight her on it. We are simply welcoming when she is here. When SD is here, she remains mostly silent but does seem to enjoy DS and playing card games with DH. I enjoy making small talk with her even if she does not choose to share much with us.
I am so glad I stuck it out with my DH. We have learned so much and grown so much through all of this nonsense his sad and bitter EX has put him through. I am also so damn thankful I had this place to vent. It has really helped me overcome some anxiety and anger. It has also helped me simply not feel so alone and powerless.
It is still really sad to see my DH's kids, as they grow older, manifest issues caused by their mother's manipulation, anger, and emotional abuse of them. SD has a problem with theft and cheating. SS is fearful and mommy still controls him, even to the point of ruining his relationships with the last few girlfriends.
One question I wonder about though, how many of you plan on throwing a party when your youngest skid finally hits 18 and you no longer have to answer another email, text, or phone call from the EX? haha I think I might have to throw a "freedom party."
I hope these kids can carve out healthy lives despite who their mother is. I really, really do. I have hope even though there is not much at all I can do to change their situation.