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Evil Stepchildren!

evilstepmomof2's picture

Hi! I love finding this place and cannot beleive that there are others out there having the same problems and issues as I am. So Ill start with this. Im now 31, I decided very long ago I loved children and wanted as many as the Good Lord would give me. I have a nine year old and six year old twins, UNFORTUNATLY FOR ME, Gods plan for me was to raise two more, A ten year old and another six year old. Their mom (alcoholic, druggie, deadbeat, baby-maker then leave em to fend in the wild type breed) is completely out of the picture except for the once a year call and promise to send birthday gifts for them, which never comes, starting out I felt HORRIBLE for these two children which made me the "Super-mom" kick into action and take over all of the mother dutys, I swore my motherly oath to love and protect these children like my own (LOL). I first met them when the youngest was in diapers, My now husband worked allllll the time and there was a constant carosel of sitters and "daycare facilities". The first year I busted my hump these two kids literally had nothing, I felt sooo bad for them. In lue of me already having a full plate with two jobs and three kids and being a single Mommy, I started doing for these kids as well. Our relationship started to bloom, One of my twins is a little boy and I soo wanted him to have a guy around as well so it was kind of perfect. Little did I know my little dream of the perfect family was about to come to a BIG FAT CAR WRECK OF A OHHH SHIT MOMENT!!!!! I wasnt a pro spanking type person I would if it was dire enough but my oldest in fact NEVER in her life had to have a spanking. The little ones were all about two at that point in time and reality as I knew it changed forever. My now husband was alllll about the spanking his kids little did I know why, but needless to say I put a end to it fast with a "NO CHILD SHOULD BE BEATEN AND HOW JUST TALKING TO THEM AND TELLING THEM TO STOP WOULD BE ENOUGH" now i feeeeel sooooooo much differently!! The first of it was the older stepdaughter beating on her baby at the time sister, she progressed into a full blown down and out Lying,stealing,hiding, breaking everything, excuses, coniving little wellll.... even setting special traps for me- for instance I beleived in a clean home so when visiting my boyfreind now husband at the time Id clean his house as a surprise for them to come home to. One day before we left my oldest stepdaughters room was the last to clean, I started and abruptly had to stop due to the fact she had broken a picture frame and put the jagged peices in one of those foam chairs I had gotten for her to watch tv on, I stepped down on my stepdaughters lovely thanks mom presents and quickly pulled my foot up, squirting blood from the bottom of my foot I called for my eldest daughter to bring me a towel and my children freaked out!!!! I wrapped the towel around my foot tightly proceeded to the bathroom and I called HIM, He headed back home IMMEDIATLY knowing I couldnt tell him how bad it was and that I would not call unless it was something horrible, He found me passed out in a puddle of blood on his bathroom floor, I had passed out only a minute before he had swung open the door. This all went downhill from there!!!The worst was after He and I got married and he and the two kids moved in with me, She started doing soo much crap from spraying my apt ceiling down to sneaking downstairs and eating alllll the snacks, writing me and her sister and new siblings death threats on the wall, she got soooo bad that she convinced my sister MY OWN SISTER!!! to call DHS on us one day when she didnt get her way!!! The lady from DHS came out (this at the time embarressed the crap out of me)I told her and showed her all of the childs horrid deeds and she suggested having her committed and said that no action would be taken on me or her dad and that we needed for "OUR PROTECTION AND THE OTHER KIDS" to have her locked up and put on medication! Honest to goodness I agreed with her and sadly this scared my husband and he left taking them to his mothers, where he thought he was saving me and my kids and she would do better because as we all know kids can do no wrong at Grandmaw and Poppys. A few months went by and she started... AT GRAMMAWS AND GRANDPAWS!! At this time I was the dreaded HOOOORRRIBLE STEPMOTHER!! and as always Daddy makes excuses for his little girl. I got a call from him, he had missed me and my kids, frankly I was enjoying the peace and quiet and the joy of having three soo well behaved children at home, I agreed he could come down and I and the kids had missed him terribly as well. My only exception was that he NOT BRING HER so he left the two and came running. He told me she had started back up and it wasnt as bad yet but it was starting and to boot the youngest was doing some of the same stuff the oldest was!!! The only thought in my head was GOOD LOORD! NOT TWO OF THEM!!! Over the course of a year and a half we have seemingly made it back together and in the same home(this time I moved into his place still keeping my apt) The girls at first looked unkept and Mother-starved, their clothes were messy and torn up but it was because they refused to bathe and tore all their clothes up and wrote on them. Their rooms were horrible to look at and they had written all over the walls, the light fixtures had all been broken by them chunking toys at them, Even when he tried to spank them the girls would run or simply lay on the floor and kick their Dad, Backtalking, rolling their eyes, the oldest would cut their hair! I didnt want to move in with him, but he promised if I did he would follow my lead with the girls.When they'd come to my apt, the girls got it hard from the start from me, I took constant advice from my mother and friends and a psycologist! Finally I had to do something!! I felt soo bad for my husband and so so ashamed of myself for not helping him carry this huge burdon, yes I said it but it feels like less of a chore to teach a wolf table manners, but the girls have gotten a bit better, I have to constantly watch them they are older and slicker. He started with the excuses and I stopped it right off the bat! It was very rocky in the first four months for he and I, I had my bags packed every fight!! All that we argued about was his kids. I had to find a way to get him to realise all that I was doing was for Him and His kids! He started with the I was bias to them and Id remind him that everyday could not be spent on his for all the bad crap and that I WAS SICK AND TIRED OF US BOTH BEING UNFAIR TO MINE!! My kids would be put on hold because every day their stepsisters were in trouble!! MINE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!!! So I devised a plan, if his children were allowed to do whatever then so were mine!!! It started with my kids(forcing them to do it was funny)playing in the mud in school clothes, and now instead of being "sqwealy mc squealers" as the stepkids would call them to hit back or when the others would take their special toys to take theirs, and if they didnt finish their dinner they got desert as well, and if they wanted something it was now ok to take it without permission!!! MY LAND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!!!!The day the younger stepsibling ripped the book out of my sons hand and tore the pages out, He picked the book up and hit her on the head and SCREAMED AT HER "HEY DUMMY! YEAH IM TALKING TO YOU! DONT TOUCH MY STUFF ANYMORE!!" OHHH Boy did this piss her off and she ran to tell her daddy on him!!!! This sorry little cuss who'd been biting him and taking his stuff and hitting him!!!! In he walks with her, her little spoiled brat arms crossed with the HES GONNA GET IT FACE!!! He asks Did your son Hit HER??? I with a smile proudly told him YES HE DID!!!and I added and I THINK HE WILL AGAIN IF SHE RIPS HIS BOOK OUT OF HIS HANDS AND STARTS TEARING IT UP!! (My son and daughters had HAD ENOUGH!!!!) He looked at her and asked her if she had done it and she looks dead in his eyes and says "NO, THAT MEAN BITCH DID IT!" AND POINTED AT MY DAUGHTER!!!!!! My daughter who had just woke up and came into the room, had been napping because she had had a really bad asthma attack and had to be taken to the doctor that day. He looks at her then at me and then at the poor sick child he had seen just walk into the room then at her again and told her to stop lying and to tell the truth, she stood there refusing to say anything, MIND YOU SHE JUST DROPPED THE B-BOMB!!! IN FRONT OF HIM!! he turned around sat on the floor and says to me, OK YOU WIN!! THIS HAS TO STOP!!!! I GIVE!!! I said GREAT!!! Now spank her butt and if she kicked screamed or even dared to move I would if I were him simply start over until the desired six licks were administered!! HE COMPLIED!!! when he was done I swiftly reminded him that cursing and lying was NOT OKAY FOR A SIX YEAR OLD and what I would do if I were him was make her sit for a while with a bar of soap in her mouth till she apologised not only to my daughter but to me and him as well!! Boy was she playing strong willed that day, guess what though?? She doesnt curse anymore and the lying well it is down to almost only once a week or so!!! Now for the older, she was hiding her school papers and lying about her homework IN FIFTH GRADE AND NEVER ANY HOMEWORK???? MY BUTT!! so 9week grades had come out and no report card!! Everyone elses came in but Not Miss Princesses. So I told him Id call the school and check, OHHHH no SHE WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT THAT! Words cannot express how happy I was when he sadly and humbly turned her over to me as well!! I went behind his back and emailed her teachers explaining how she never had homework and that we never got a report card and that my husband and I thought it was a bit odd that in the fifth grade she never had homework, and would they please get one to us at our address and let us know how she was doing!!! A month ago we got the packet from her teacher!!! LOL she never turned in homework, interupted class everyday, LIED TO EVERYONE, BEEN CAUGHT IN HER LIES CONSTANTLY AND AS MY UNEMPLOYED RETIRED HUSBAND WAS ALWAYS "AWAY ON BUSINESS" AND SUPPOSEDLY NEVER AT HOME!! THE ENIRE SCHOOL WAS AT WITS END ON WHAT TO DO WITH HER!!! THEY WERE THANKFUL THAT HE HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED AND NOW SHE HAD HAD A PARENT AT HOME TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP RID THEM OF THIS BURDON!!! I honest to godness wish I could share the look of his bubble bursting as I interupted his and EVIL LITTLE STEPDAUGHTERS TV TIME TOGETHER!!! "Honey? I need you to turn the TV off." She said WE ARE WATCHING THIS WAIT TILL WE ARE DONE!!!! OHHHH boy did that ever fuel my fire! I looked at her and picked up the remote, HIT OFF and said I HAVE REALLY HORRIBLE NEWS, I SENT OFF FOR THOSE MISSING REPORT CARD SHE NEVER GETS AND I THINK YOU SHOULD SEE THIS ALL!! Her badbutt little mouth drops to the floor and she said IM GOING TO MY ROOM TO WATCH MY MOVIE!!! As I handed him the stack of papers, his face went RED!!!and he told her to sit her butt down!! He glared at me, then I thought hed start screaming as usual at me and he says as he turned to look at her "D's and F's??" "IM AWAY ON BUISNESS TRIPS????" She starts pulling her little manipulative crying jag! But Daddy remember My MOM LEFT ME WITH YOU WHEN I WAS A BABY!! I Dont have a Mother! THEN HE SCREAMS AT HER "WELL THE ONE THAT CHOSE TO TAKE YOU, THE ONE THAT IS AND HAS BEEN, YOU KNOW THE LADY YOU BACKTALK AND ROLL YOUR EYES AT AND ARE SOO DISREPECTFUL TO THATS BEEN ASKING YOU EVERY DAMN DAY IF YOU HAVE ANY HOMEWORK SHE CAN HELP YOU WITH??????? He looked up at me and said Im soo sorry!! Thank you for this not only for this but for going this distance to help her and me!!I will not ever take her word over yours and she will now be treated like I should have been all along!! So now things are looking sooo much better!!! She sits at the dining table with all of her books, isnt allowed to disrepect or any of that craziness. But I wonder in the back of my head and heart even how long this will last before he starts letting them get away with almost murder again, but as for now Im greatful I have a break. If it does start up again though I will tell you this much, I AM DONE!! I will leave and I will be able to rest knowing I did all I could and if it does happen he will be ON HIS OWN and my conscience is clear now.


Most Evil's picture

Wow that certainly sounds horrific and I am amazed you went through all that without leaving! I am glad your DH is stepping up and hope it continues.

Welcome and I hope you can find some peace and answers here. HUGS

Step-Monkey.'s picture

I hear you ES2 - don't give up though! I only have one SD18 - but many similar stories. Her BM is bipolar & a pathological lier & she definately has those tendencies herself. In the last 5 yrs that we've had her full time, she's lied (ALOT & still does, but not as much) told the school she was afraid to go home (shit hit the fan) & been manipulative & sneaky. But in the time we've had her, she has improved, despite the crappy mom that life dealt her. We did counseling for nearly 2 yrs! Every now -n- then she'll do something that makes sense or is just the right thing to do - that's us, her dad & I, & seeing that helps me know that change is possible - even though it seems like we went through hell to get there! Don't give up on those kids!

ddakan's picture

I read your whole story and found it fascinating. As much as kids resent boundaries, I think they want them. If you don't keep them, you are showing them you don't really care about them.

You have a tough job there!! When they left that would have been the end of it for me. You seem to be able to make it on your own. You and DH have the makings of a super relationship if he can appreciate, respect and support you. He has to be firm too.

I inherited a feral teenager who was hard headed, tempermental, rude and selfish. It was soooooo hard breaking through to her. I've been in her life since she was 11. I would pick her lice out, spend time with her, teach her, include her....and I have 4 kids of my own and 2 step sons. This sd was so hungry for attention that she would do ANYTHING bad just to get it. Her real mom left her at age 4 to run off with the carnival, her dad died of aids, her aunt adopted her at 6 but sent her to a children's home for 2 years because she was so crazy and violent, then the aunt (ss BM) kicked her out of her house during high school. It took me years to get it through sds head....I LOVE you, I will NEVER abandon you, I will ALWAYS be here for you, I will NEVER give up on all the things like learning to drive, getting a car, getting a job, paying bills, insurance.....blah blah blah

I can honestly say...after many years of frustration and relentless work, she is 21, she has a steady job at Walmart as a certified tobacco clerk. She is being responsible for her own bills and her own life. She has matured enough to think through her problems. She calls me every time there is a crisis, but we talk through it, I encourage her. I don't have to bail her out of problems anymore. It is truly unbelievable. She is now capable of being a productive member of society.

Guess who is back in her life shooting off her mouth about "her" daughter....her real mom...the carnie lover!!! LMAO. I'm not threatened. She knows who her mama is...the one that LOVES her ALL the time.

I admire you for your tenacity. That is my best feature. I don't give up and I love a lot. I sure get tired sometimes and I've found a lot of solace on this website.

AVR1962's picture

You wrote exactly what I endured, how I tried, the whole lies and hatred from the steps, very exact same story. My steps were monsters who were majorly playing their father, bio mom out of the picture with some exception. Yep, had "I hate you" screamed at me and written on calendars, carved in dressers. Boys would angry to say the least and they sure did not want me in the picture. If you think it is bad now, stick around and wait til they are teens, it gets more bizarre. I had pubic hair stuck in my toothbrush, new plants pulled out of the ground, my car was poured with some sticky substance, my bedroom drawers were ransacked, I was cursed by the younger boy, I had papers thrown in my face. One boy was stealing and setting fires in the house. Shortly after the youner boy was asked to leave and moved out, my middle daughter admitted that both boys had molested my daughters.

I am not saying this will all happen to you but when the bio parents have no boundaries themselves for their own personal behavior you often see that they have little expectations of their children. Eventhough my husband talked that he wanted disapline in the home and he wanted what was best for his children he pretty much let them do whatever they wanted to when it came right down to it.

I stayed because we had one child we shared and I diodn't want to put my youngest thru a divorce situation. I forget now whether you said you have any bios together. If not, save youself and get out of there and for good. Your husband is not going to change. If you want to stick this out, those kids and the whole family need counseling. This is too much for anyone to deal with.

I thought I was strong and I thought I could endure.....when I found out my daughters had been molested and sexually abused my whole thinking turned around. My health has suffered. I now deal with some post traumatic symptoms, wake in the night from bad dreams where the boys are trying to kill me. It's not alot of fun. Don't let this go that far with you. Save yourself!

ddakan's picture

I feel so sad for you that you had so much pain! I know that your story can help other stepmoms actually see what the possibilities for abuse are. I hope you all are healing and that this helps you get out and release some of your hurt by helping others. Smile