SHOULD I SPANK STEPDAUGHTER?????
She is actually my adopted daughter. I married her dad in 2006, he got custody in 06, mom signed all rights and never saw her again in 07, I adopted her in 08, real mom died in 09. She was 7 when I started becoming her parent. She just turned 11 yesterday. I used to be her stepmom so I never spanked her. This is what we all agreed was best for her. Her dad and mom and occasionally her gma disciplined her with spanking. I totally believe in spanking (only on the butt of course) and spank my 2yr old son when necessary. Now my mom in law and stepdad in law are saying that she is turning into a total disrespectful brat and I need to be spanking her. They won't let it go and have had me in tears several times discussing it. My husband just says what he thinks I want him to say about it. He doesn't like it when she does something in the middle of the day and I send her to her room and then he has to come home from work and spank her hours later. I know this isn't fair to him, but I don't know what we should do. If I had started a long time ago then it would not be a big deal, but starting now when she is a preteen doesn't feel right to me!!! They refuse to hear me out and say that what we are doing (dad spanking, grounding, etc) isn't working so we need to turn to God's Word and the Bible says "don't spare the rod." But does anybody see my point of view?
Also, we were going to counseling in 2007 after her bm signed over her rights and sd told the counselor that I pulled her hair. The real story is that she was throwing a temper tantrum and I was trying to cup her chin to make her look at me and I accidentally pulled her hair. I said sorry immediatly and told her that I didn't mean to pull her hair. She didn't tell the counselor any of this of course. So I am concerned that if I spank her she will turn it into some bullshit abuse story and tell someone at school. She has really turned into a manipulative, lying preteen the last few months and it is only getting worse. WHAT SHOULD I DO PEOPLE??????????? HELP!!!!