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My kids crack me up

Elizabeth's picture

DH and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary last weekend. We didn't have a babysitter and so we took our kids with us to dinner.

Somehow their thoughts turned to SD21 and her family. I guess last time DH went to SD21's city to see her, she was at BM's house and so they went by there and of course BM wouldn't let them in so my BDs were forced to stand on the sidewalk and look over the fence. Not sure I got the whole story, but there is the gist.

So BDs are curious about SD's BM, and they asked DH about his "old wife." Snicker. They want to see her and don't understand why they have not in all this time (BD is 11). DH said she is short and round (both accurate, if not flattering). Then DH said they will probably see her at SD21's wedding. Um, yeah, not sure she'll ever get married.

So I'd had a bit to drink and my tongue was a bit loose, so I said, "Ha. You know we won't be invited to her wedding." Because this one deliberately did not invite me or our two BDs to her high school graduation. Only DH. On purpose, there was no shortage of tickets. It was a deliberate slight, and she told DH as much.

Of course DH says, "Oh, SD21 is much better now." Um, yeah, sure she is. That's why I haven't heard a peep out of her in several years, despite the fact that we cover the vast majority of her school and when I saw we I mean WE, DH and I married when she was 8, most of the money saved for her education was put aside while we were married and I make considerably more than DH. But SD21 will never thank me, despite the fact that without my income DH would not be able to contribute to her education.

DH of course agreed to that and then said to our two BDs: "SD has to learn how to get along better with your mom" or something to that effect. Not exactly admitting that she has problems, but at least not completely making excuses for her.

I have told DH for years that one day our BDs are going to have questions and he better be prepared to answer them truthfully. So it was funny to see him scrambling.

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

Happy Anniversary....

On a side note...I will not be spending my anniversary thinking or talking about BM or the skids that is for sure....

zerostepdrama's picture

Yeah what was your DH's response to that?

So he went into BM's house to visit SD while your kids just sat outside?

Elizabeth's picture

NO. I should clarify, nobody was allowed inside the house, DH included. If that were me, I would have told SD to meet me somewhere else rather than make my kids stand on the sidewalk outside BM's house like they were not "good enough" to be in her presence.

zerostepdrama's picture

Yeah what a nice visit... hanging around outside. I hope at least the weather was good.

Teas83's picture

I wouldn't have even allowed my bio kids to go anywhere near the BM's house. I don't want my BD1 to ever be in the same room as my SD's BM. I'd be happy to miss a graduation. The BM and her mother have both given me a lot of trouble and I don't trust that they wouldn't somehow try to mistreat my BD as well.

Elizabeth's picture

Well, if I say I'd rather my two BDs NOT go along when DH visits SD21, I get a lot of grief from people on this site about how I'm trying to keep them from having a relationship with SD21 and these are DH's kids too and I should trust him to look out for their best interests. So... Of course I would not have been OK with DH taking them to BM's house where they had to stand on the sidewalk like riff raff. Notice how I didn't find out about this until quite some time after it happened.

Teas83's picture

I know, people can easily misunderstand the situation and make it look like you're being the bad guy.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to say you did anything wrong. You couldn't have known that was going to happen.

My BD1 has gone with my husband to the meeting place to pick up my SD6 once because I was late getting home from work, so he had no choice. I've gone along for the exchange, and my BD has obviously come with us for those but I felt way better knowing I was there to protect her if the BM or bio grandmother (who often does the exchange) tried to do something stupid.

The BM and her mother have been so horrible to me that I want to keep my BD as far away from them as possible, even if that means missing some of my SD's events (such as school concerts, graduations, etc.)