Do you ever want to cry about the situation you have gotten yourself into?
Two situations lately where I have bitten my tongue and can't decide whether I want to cry or get mad. Seems like neither will change anything though.
Signed BD7 up for soccer recently, she's been asking to play for a year, cost was $75. DH has been forking hundreds of dollars SD20's way. DH sees the charge for soccer, asks what it was for, then says, "That's kind of expensive for soccer." Seriously? I spend $75 so your young (still a minor) child can do something constructive with her time and you have a problem with it but meanwhile you can give SD20 hundreds of dollars to drink and do drugs?
BD7 and I are doing a weekend trip to get her long-overdue (nearly three months) birthday present. This necessitates a hotel stay, DH found an inexpensive place (less than $70). OK, fine. Except then he tells me that they had a better package that would include fun things for BD7 but it costs $40 more a night so he didn't book it. Meanwhile, I happen to know that just a few days earlier SD20 informed DH that the hotel he picked, that we are paying for, for her stay near our town is not nice enough and she wants a better one that costs $30 more a night AND he booked it for her! BD7 and I are not work an extra $40 a night, but SD20 is clearly worth an extra $30 a night.
I just want to cry, if I was the crying type.
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Comments
I feel your pain. It seems
I feel your pain. It seems like every day I want to cry. I have to fight the urge to do so and some times it turns into anger.
I wish I could turn back time. I never thought at my age (almost 50) that my life would be this miserable and broke - mentally and financially.
I feel your pain too! I just
I feel your pain too! I just don't understand it. I feel like maybe I need to leave my DH, quit my job, turn into a low life, loser skank who acts like a freak of nature so that our BS3 can get the "royal" treatment that SD15 gets because "poor, poor wittle SD, doesn't know any better because her mommy sucks and we must all treat her like royalty because it's not her fault her mommy and daddy aren't together"
Yeah, DH has no problem forking out 100 bucks for SD15 to get her hair done, money for new cell phones, clothes, random stuff. But when I took BS3 to the fair and he came home with a blow up shark and a stuffed dolphin that he was soooo excited about, when BS3 showed DH, the first words out of DHs mouth to me, were "How much did that cost??" WTF!?@#@#$^@% DH, it didn't cost me a fucking cent because my friend and her daughter were there and actually asked to take BS3 to play a couple of games and THEY insisted on paying for it. A whole whopping 5 bucks total. Will you be OK????
I think I'll go cry now.
I totally get it. DH says
I totally get it. DH says SD20 is more expensive because she is older and her "needs" are bigger. Um, the latest cell phone is a want, not a need. SD20 got a $50 case for her iphone, but now that BD10 needs a case for the "handed down to her, no service but just to play games" cell phone, DH won't pay $15 for it. She still doesn't have a case and has been price shopping looking for something cheaper than $15. How pathetic is that?!
Yep! I feel like the victim
Yep! I feel like the victim of the ultimate "bait and switch" scheme.
Love it "bait and switch".
Love it "bait and switch". You managed to sum up how I feel in 3 little words.
I hear you pain. It seem when
I hear you pain. It seem when it comes to Skids...common sense in spending money goes out the window. DH has 3 adult kids. When I meet him, he told me that they were doing good and independent. That was a lie. I am not sure what the deal is on the hotel for your SD. Is the hotel for her to visit you all or is she going on this trip?
All I can say is...she has balls. My SD was 28 when she called for money for a wedding. She was talking of $150 a plate for reception. DH was still co-signer and co-owner of her old Honda. After we married, OSS in his early 30's was late on his truck note. DH was also the co-signer and co-owner. The loans are paid off now and DH's name he of as co-owner. Thank GOD!
DH moved in with me. My house is paid for. Get this...he can NOT see changing a toilet that has a crack tank lid. Does not want to spend less than $200 for toilet but will spend thousands on adult skids that see him only as a money tree.
You need to put your foot up DH's ass. I am sooner later going to get a new toilet. If DH says a ONE WORD...I am going off on him.
HUGS!
You're so right that I don't
You're so right that I don't feel the way toward DH that I used to, for this exact reason. And I know he can sense the closeness is no longer there but he lacks the capacity to make the connection with his behavior. And so he thinks I'm just being a cold bitch...
No, my little secret is that
No, my little secret is that I hacked his cell phone password and occasionally check his texts. That's how I find out a lot of things. BUT, if I were to tell him he would just change that password, so it's hard for me to confront him on those things.
His lying and secrecy are
His lying and secrecy are wrong on so many levels. Just say you found out by calling the hotel to check rates or something. I could not live with a liar. He sounds like a jack ass.
My dh does this to an extent.
My dh does this to an extent. We've had a rough couple of weeks, but I feel like the turned a corner yesterday. The rough patch started with ss15 calling out of the blue (after an 8 month refusal to speak to dh) and wanting dh to buy him a moped. Ridiculous. Over my dead body were we buying him a moped. Dh did say no right away, but then brought up that we have an "extra" one here that maybe he could have. Um, no, it's not extra-it's a 1000.00 item that we are selling and had planned to sell since we got it last year (we got it as a set with another one).
But anywho, he will then bitch at my kids who ask him for 10.00 here or there-seriously-it's not some sort of huge sum-but literally maybe 10 or 15 bucks every few weeks. In return my kids ALL do chores-cleaning, mowing the lawn, laundry, etc on a regular basis. They also talk with him everyday and do 5 million small tasks such as grabbing this for him, bringing him that, etc. They are generally respectful kids who make great grades, don't get in trouble, etc and who love him.
It breaks my heart that he has been bithching about them for the last couple of weeks. My dd15 has asked for 15.00 a couple of times-she does make her own money but we are saving every dime of it a this point so that she can buy herself a car. And yet, he says nothing to ss. Now don't ger me wrong, he has not given the moped to ss15, and he's not going to-but why on earth can he not tell the kid that. Why does he have to be so freaking nice to him whne he is blatantly trying to use dh, but the other kids whom he does have a decent relationship with get blasted for 10 bucks?
I did point it out the other night and he does seem to have adjusted his attitude. IMO, he knows the ss15 is the user, he just says nothing to him as it might damage the already extrmemly minimal relationship they do have. So instead he makes more out of the fact that the other kids ask for things-this both normalizes ss's asking as well as gives dh somewhere to divert his anger of a kid trying to use him for cash. I brought this all to dh's attention and he has literally been a sweetheart since. I just wish the guy would get his own insight instead of me having to spell things out all the time.