After much screaming, yelling and discussions with my husband we decided to stop arguing with each other and to tackle this problem with my step-daughter as a team. I was very honest with him and told him how I feel that this child is doing nothing but wreaking havoc in our household, how her behavior on our family vacation was mortifying along with letting him know my concerns with exposing my son to this situation any longer. We agreed that we would talk to BM about what is going on and try to come up with a reasonable resolve. I.E - structured rules and discipline as well as having BM take on some more responsibility - she currently has SD every other weekend.

My step-daughter spent the day and night at her moms house last night. They did this because it had been awhile since she'd seen her mom as we were away for the holidays.

Anyhow, BM calls me and when I asked her how SD was behaving she's like, "oh she's fine" - in that stupid hippie, rainbows and sunshine voice. I went on to tell her how I was surprised to hear that as step-daughter has been a real nightmare here. I told her about the coloring on the walls, the fits at Disney World, the refusal to sleep, the bratty mouth, etc. She said that SD NEVER acts that way at her house -- but for the sleeping. She said, "you know, she's always had a hard time sleeping. When she's at my house I have to make her a cup of tea, read her a book, rub her back and hold her hand until she falls asleep". Ummm..... Excuse me?!! Who does that? This process of her takes over and hour and a half...seriously? She also said that her daughter doesn't get in trouble at her house because she follows her around the whole time and because she only lives in a studio apartment. I'm sorry, the children are four years old (my son is four also), they should be able to play by themselves for a time or watch a movie, etc. They do not need to have their parents literally up their butt the whole day. And as far as sleeping in concerned, in my opinion that's just obnoxious. At our house we get the kids ready for bed, read them a few books, say goodnight, turn the light out and shut the door.

I'm sure this is contributing to SD's behavior. It's also likely that BM won't change. Ugh, is this ever going to end?

My SD is coming home tonight - my husband picks her up after work - I am totally dreading it. This morning my son asked if she was coming home tonight, I said yes and he cried -- guess he's dreading it too.