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Why can't the parents just do what it right?

dragonfly5's picture

I feel like screaming...so not me. But I think I could today. Tell me, please tell me am I wrong?

My BF just called me and said he had his bd10 but bs13 once again doesn't want to go to church.
Really? Who cares what he wants? My daughter now 29 working on her doctorate and an happy functioning human, never got a choice. FACT We go to church. When she moved home after getting her BS she didn't ask...she didn't lay in bed she knew we go to church and she went to church.

I said to him so why didn't you say I know you may not want to son but get your stuff we are going to church. And if the evil BM says something look at her and say this is my day if you have an issue take it up in court. We are leaving...

So simple.. Who is the parent? My BF is so strong in so many ways and he is not the typical Disney dad. His kids are repectful and well behaved and he does correct them. But sometimes I wonder why he does what he does. He does not cater to the crazo BM, so what the heck. What is this about.

I went off and said who is the parent? It is your and crazo's job to do right by your children. That includes making them do things they don't want to do. No wonder so many of you on this site feel trapped in Hell. These children are not children they are the boss. They need to be kids.
Grow up do the hard work.

I reminded him, how often he tells me he is amazed at the relationship my bd29 and I have. We have it because I was the mom. Fair, open, a good listener, but at the end of the day I am the mom! I still am!!! I do not tell her what she wants to hear. When she ask for advise I am tactful but honest. And by the way I still expect her to do what is right. She is a relection of me.

Why do parents run away from the hard work? That is why they and everyone else pays for it later.

Comments

dragonfly5's picture

oh goodie, your response just makes my case the whole thing just sucks. What is deal? I so sick of being the moral compus.

Can someone lead besides me?

helena_brass's picture

Actually, I'm not sure that you would win this one in court. They are very careful about anything religious in nature, and a 13 year-old is old enough that the court would probably support his decision to not participate in that religious event. Then again, I'm not a lawyer and the judges where you live (Fl) might be a little different than where I live (Ca). Did the boys go to church with their father before he started dating you?

dragonfly5's picture

Let her take him to court. she does all time anyway and never gets anywhere. It will give her something to do.

Yes, they went to church. But he is 13 and as I remember 13 yrs olds are moody and trying to express their "independence". I raise my own and have gone through it with my 2 god daughters.
Being the parent and doing what right is not optional or is it?

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

My kids and skids do a lot of things they don't want to do, and will continue to do so until they have a place of their own to live.

dragonfly5's picture

If we all did what we wanted to do when we wanted to, we would be the crazy bm's correct?

So we guide and direct our children to keep them from growing up to be selfish, self centered,
adults.
Doing what is right is not always easy but it is always right.

itsgottostop's picture

My husband and I catch hell from BM because she let's SS5 sit at home with family members during summer break but we have him for 4 weeks in the summer and he has to attend summer day camp. Yes, he cries when he has to go but its because he doesn't know how to interact with other kids due to the fact that his mother moved him from daycare to daycare until she finally left him home with his aunt all day. BM constantly mentions in emails that we should let her keep him all summer rather than sending him to "some camp that he hates and cries everytime you drop him off". My husband and I both work full time and don't have the privilege of leaving SS with family members. The camp is good for him and i think it helped prepare him for kindergarten. Kids have to do what they don't want to do at times...its part of life. Some parents are so worried about making their children mad that they completely change their life to accommodate the wants (not the needs) of their children. This will backfire one day....