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Villains who inspire me

Drac0's picture

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were the villain and your step-kids were your "prey"?

Inspired by Rutherford, I came up with these gems:

Drac0 as Keyser Soze:
"Who is Drac0? He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Some think he is a woman. Nobody ever saw him, or knew anybody that ever worked directly with him, but to hear SS tell it, if you you asked SS what Drac0 does for a living he would answer "I dunno". He never knew what Drac0 did or what he was up to. That was Drac0's power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone..."

Drac0 as Dracula:
“There is darknesses in life and there are lights. You SS, are a light that refuses to come on, and so you remain in perpetual darkness, crying for your mother to turn the light on for you.”

Drac0 as Khan:
"I've done far worse than kill you, SS. I've removed your Nutella. And I shall go on denying you your Nutella. I shall leave the pantries bare with nothing but wholesome nuts, fruits, and vegetables. You will be marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead house... buried alive in nothing but healthy snacks!"

Drac0 as Loki:
"Sleep SS. I SAID *slam scepter down* SLEEP!......There! Is this not simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of teenagehood. You crave to be a child again but we expect you to act as an adult and this diminishes your life's joy. You have no wish to mature, or seek independence. You crave to return inside your mother's womb. Since that is a physical impossibility, you sleep your days away, because sleeping in and dreaming of Nutella is far better than being awake and productive."

Drac0 as Freddy Krueger:
"Your mouth says 'I dunno' but your eyes say 'Oh shit! He's found me out!' "

Drac0 as Darth Vader:
"I find your lack of intelligence disturbing"

Comments

Drac0's picture

I get nostalgic at times Smile

Love playing the villain! Only venue where I can creep people out and have them coming back for more!

Redredwine's picture

Nice!

Redredwine as Snow Whites Stepmother:
You will eat this healthy apple, but because you think all healthy food is poison you will pretend to choke on it. Ironically that will cause you to really choke and pass out. Your handsome prince daddy will save you but forever remind me of "the time you nearly killed Snow White."

Redredwine's picture

The pretending to choke part. Not the actual choking or saving. But they still have a few more years, we'll see.

Tuff Noogies's picture

tuff as maleficent - and now you shall deal with MEEEEE, oh yss, and all the powers of HELL!!!!!!!!!

princessmofo's picture

Princess Mofo starring as Captain Hook, "A jealous female can be tricked into anything." Regarding twat waffle...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Aniki as The Wicked Witch of the West:
"And now, my piglets, something with ExLax in it, I think. With Exlax in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell. Brownies... Brownies. Brownies will keep them in the bathroom and keep them from annoying me. Pooooop. Now they'll pooooop!"
Ah-hahahahahaaaaaaaaa~~~~~

Aniki-Moderator's picture

You've inspired me, Drac0. First, I spilled my Dirty Secret and then I envisioned myself as WWW... Obviously, I've been drinking the NICE Kool-Aid and need to blow the dust off of my long dormant, evil talents. Why? Because these are SKIDS. Rude, snooping, disrespectful, lazy, thieving, goodie-snitching, enough-poop-in-the-skivvies-to-adobe-a-house SKIDS. Naturally, I will continue to flit around the house in my tiara and hoop-skirted gown and sparkly shoes, blonde locks flowing, waving my magic wand and making dirty dishes disappear and clean floors and tidy tabletops appear, having my magical beings walk the dog, replace the toilet paper on the roll, empty the trash, and do countless other little things because they are inspired by me.... and the fact that if they do NOT....

Good Aniki's eyes will go sly and flash red. Her beautifully shaped lips will twist into an evil smirk, slashing across her cunning face. Her pretty, manicured nails will turn razor sharp; a mere touch will shred a skid's favorite shirt or shorts irreparably. Poop-laden skivvies hidden in your drawer will find their way into your pillowcase. Cookies you snuck in in your backpack will become crumbs mixed with dog hair. You whizzed all over the toilet bowl? No worries. Your pillowcase makes a lovely rag. Sleep, my children, SLEEP. I'll see you in your NIGHTMARES!!! AH-hahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Thank you! I've been writing for a long, long time. For some strange reason, I feel so compelled.... I wanna be BAD.

Tuff Noogies's picture

tuff as The Raven - nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore. nevermore.

lather, rinse, repeat Wink

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Aniki as Ivan Drago:
"I must break you."

Aniki as Mommie Dearest:
"NO.PLASTIC.MILK RINGS!!!"

Aniki as The Joker:
"The skids deserve a better class of stepMONSTER. And I’m gonna give it to them."
"There's two things DH forgot to tell you about me: I don't CARE what happens to the BioHo, and I DON'T play nice with skids!"

Aniki as the Wicked Queen from Snow White:
"I shall give these wretched skids the stepmonster they deserve!"

Aniki as Severus Snape:
"Your mother is a WHORE."

Tuff Noogies's picture

tuff as jabba the hut - Ya koon tacha poonoo nee sah, gee. Cha too ma leia kahnkee, ya ee eema loh kah yah lee.

Monchichi's picture

I morph in to Mondevil at the first sign of Step Nonsense. I found a Monchichi devil to match. The picture isn't resizing for me to show you my super villain Sad

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Biggrin

I admit... today I'm still feeling villainous and am hoping it carries over into the weekend. The SKID weekend. }:)