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Drac0 pulls yet another "stupid-man-trick"

Drac0's picture

Today marks month 2 of my home renovation incarceration.

SS is at his Dad’s until next week. The CO states that his father gets him for most of the summer. This is the first year SS has gone to his Dad’s without uttering a single complaint, and with good reason, because DW is acting like a female Bob Villa in heat. The fact that SS failed two courses is also a reason SS is trying his best to be a “persona non-grata”. We haven’t heard a peep from this kid in two weeks. This is unusual because a day doesn’t go by without SS texting his mother trying to run her like Google House App (“Mom? Have you seen my deodorant?”)

So yesterday, as with most days preceding a weekend (in this case, a long weekend). I was in a particularly foul/sarcastic mood.

DW asks in a cheery voice “What are our plans for this weekend?”

I responded “Well, I don’t know what you plan to do, but I was thinking of sleeping in, getting up, scratching myself, maybe lounge in front of the TV in my boxers until the afternoon and then retreat downstairs to binge on Coke and video games all day. Then I’ll call you or text you “What’s for dinner?” when I’m hungry. I’ll come up for supper, nibble a little, go back downstairs and when everyone is fast asleep, I’ll come back up and raid the fridge and pantries for something more appealing. ”

DW fell very silent. She then snapped at me.

Now she is not talking to me.


Monchichi's picture

I think you might be going a little crazy over there. I cannot say I haven't done this myself when feeling very sarcastic.

Monchichi's picture

No idea, I'm still hung up on the fact you know what DIY is, never mind do it without your DW screaming at you for 12 months. How about you try it and let me know?

another step's picture

Personally, I would take silent over forced labor any day. Anyone who has ever done a DIY home renovation knows the exhaustion that sets in after a while. And that is when you are doing it because YOU want to. I can't imagine having a list that grows and grows with imposed projects and days of work ruined by other people. Utter frustration! Hopefully you will have some time to relax this weekend!!!!

Drac0's picture

Our convos are more like this.

DW: "Help me move the new bed into BD's room."

Me: "Why?"

DW: "I want to assemble it and paint it."

Me: "You have to sand it first."

DW: "No I don't."

Me: "Yes you do. If you paint it as is, the paint won't catch because of the lacquer that's on it."

DW: "That's not true."

Me: "I'll bet you a $100 that you do."

DW: "I'm calling my Dad!"


DW: "Urm Drac0. Can me sand the old bed?"

Me: "Let me called your Dad?"

DW: "Uh-huh."

Me: "And he confirmed everything I said?"

DW: *crickets*

Me: "You know, if you say 'Drac0, you were right' your head won't explode. You know that right?"

Tuff Noogies's picture

you REALLY need a break. for your sanity and marriage!!!!

you must take a "do nothing but order takeout and watch tv all day" kind of day.

Drac0's picture

>do nothing but order takeout and watch tv all day<

*blink* *blink*

The last three times I actually sat down in front of the TV, I fell asleep ten minutes in.

If I watch TV with take-out, I am liable to slip into a carbo enduced comma akin to sleeping beauty.

Tuff Noogies's picture

sometimes, IC, a little snark is the only way some of us can let off some steam without going full-on ape shit.


Drac0's picture

>You are FREE.<

Free? You think I am free? Ha ha! I am NEVER free! That's the whole point! SS is ALWAYS THERE!!!!! In the back of my mind! Even when I walk down the Nutella aisle at the grocery store, I can see him stuffing his face with that goop and smiling like he just had a climactic orgasm! Ah ha ha ha ha!!!!

Tuff Noogies's picture

DRACO!!!! YUCK!!!!!!!!!!

:sick: :sick: :sick:

please dont EVER use "ss", "nutella", and "orgasm" in the same comment again!!!