SS ornaments.
So many things to talk about, but I suppose it is best to talk about what happened Sunday. Sunday, we decided to put up the tree and the Christmas decorations.
I used to take great pleasure in doing it, but I just don’t like doing the tree anymore. Why? Because DW has this tradition/obsession of decorating the tree with ornaments with SS’s name/picture on it. She gets a new one every year.
Seriously, I look at the tree, and I cannot help but think of Willow’s “Wall of Gaylord.” It’s a not a Christmas tree anymore but an evergreen SS shrine. BS and BD have their own ornaments too, but they don’t have any with their pictures or their names on them, nor do they have nearly as many. They have 2 or 3 ornaments each. SS has over fifty ornaments dedicated to SS. Yes, you read that right. Fifty! If it was just one or two, I would be okay with it but I just don’t get the fascination of splattering a whole Christmas tree with pictures of SS. I just don’t.
I don’t say anything, because DW already considers my Christmas family traditions weird and she cries her eyes out year after year because we only get SS for a 12-hour window for visitation over the holidays.
“Oh look! This is a picture of SS at his first Christmas!” DW gushes.
Yeah….That’s nice. She shows me these things every year like she is opening up a family album for the first time, and every very year I humor her and say “That’s nice.” But this year, I dunno…especially after the sh*t SS has been pulling last semester, I was just not in the mood to watch DW gush over her precious lying, under-achieving son. So needless to say I don’t particularly care to have pictures/names of SS all over our tree. It doesn’t make me sick or anything, I just feel that DW is foisting an honor on SS that he doesn’t deserve.
Please tell me I am not the only one faced with this predicament? Do any of your spouses have Christmas traditions that seem “weird”?
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DW was around 21 when she had
DW was around 21 when she had SS. She was never married to her ex. Okay, so I get from what you are saying that this isn't a weird/obsession but a normal thing for a mother to do?
dtzy - DH buys his kid an
dtzy - DH buys his kid an ornament every year, so when she moves out she has a "starter kit". We stopped having a tree a few years ago. We only decorate with "Christmas" things and garland on the mantle, lights in the window.
However in her stocking every year she gets the ornament. He has her Christmas decoration storage box packed and ready to go.
can I put Princess Boy in
can I put Princess Boy in that storage box that is packed and ready to go???????
>The tree is for the kids in
>The tree is for the kids in my home.<
Same here I suppose. Each year I try to do a "little extra" you know? A little extra garland on the banister here, some more lights to decorate the windows there, etc. I got enough decorating tasks on my plate now to excuse myself from having to do anything with the tree!
It only sort of falls under
It only sort of falls under tradition, but yea. The first Christmas of DH and I together, he had SD semi near Christmas and wanted to wait to put up the tree til she could join us. Fine, no problem. But we prepped everything. Got the boxes out, set the tree up, etc. and I pull out the tree skirt. Ew.
It was obviously a home made job. So I ask if his mother made it for him before I insulted the thing because wow was it super crazy tacky. He looks at the thing, Super pissed off. "No, BM made it." W.T.F.
Um, so why do you use it? "So SD feels like this is her Christmas tree too". I don't get it. "It's what we use. SD likes it." So you're happy to have something under your tree from your ex? "No,it ruins my holiday every year." Once again. WTF. "SD needs to feel this is her Christmas here too". Sooo..... You can't the two of you go pick out a new tree skirt? No was the answer. Whatever, I didn't care, I spent Xmas with my family.
Next year we were engaged, SD was being a total witch, DH and I had a huge fight about the skirt. He used it anyway, we spent Xmas eve and day at my parents. Year after, he asked if I wanted to decorate. I said no. He asked why. I told him I wasn't putting up the tree ever if I had to live with his ex's creation under it. It was our house, Our tree and SD would just have to live with some new traditions.
We didn't put up the tree. Year after, SD hasn't been to see us in quite a while, DH was pissed. I got to have a BBQ finally. In all fairness, I did offer to mail the precious POS to SD since it was So effing important to here holiday tradition. DH smiled as it burned.
It's a tree. It's up for a
It's a tree. It's up for a few weeks, then comes down.
Seriously doubt this will be on your top ten things to bitch about when you're on your death-bed.
Let it go.
I'm not bitching about it.
I'm not bitching about it. I'm just saying it's weird. I can understand if DW has 13 ornaments because that would be one she gets every year (which AFAIK seems to be the norm). So why does she have over 50 of them?
Seriously, I look at the
Seriously, I look at the tree, and I cannot help but think of Willow’s “Wall of Gaylord.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LOL!!!
Have you ever asked her to maybe try to equal out the ornaments? It is weird when it becomes a shrine to one kid.
That's what it feels like; a
That's what it feels like; a shrine. But as I responded to Dtzy above, if we didn't have any kids we probably wouldn't be bending over backwards decorating the house in the first place. My ass cheeks are still numb from sitting on the roof decorating the house lights, but I don't mind because the kids love it. Kids love the tree too, but I don't see SS gushing over his pics on the tree like DW does.
Quando...just to let you know
Quando...just to let you know that I will be stealing BOTH of your signature lines.....LOVE them!!!!!!!
I always grew up with a
I always grew up with a "Offspring-neutral" christmas tree, so having pictures of the children on the tree was a new thing for me but like I said, my family traditions were considered "weird" by DW so I never questioned her choice of ornaments. So if it were up to me, I would opt to have no pictures/names of the children on the tree. If the kids make their own ornaments, that would be okay and it would feel less like a shrine.
LOL, a shrine to SS. So it's
LOL, a shrine to SS. So it's time to out think the wife, Draco. Wouldn't it be soooooo special for SS to have his own small tree in his bedroom. Totally cool, DW, think about how much fun he'd have glazing at his lighted tree with all his special ornaments on it while he sits at his desk and does his homework.
Depending on his room size whether a 4ft table top or (hey, lots of ornaments/pics over the years) perhaps a 6ft floor tree. They have nice slim trees and if you're lucky you'll find one at a bargain price at a discount store. It doesn't have to be a tree to dazzle, just a tree to make SS's bedroom all Christmas bright and 'special'. Of course to get away with this you might have to get a small $10 3ft one for the other two kiddies. If they share a room or one tree for them if not one for each bedroom.
Sell DW on how nice and beautiful the tree will be in the living with _________ (fill in the blank with whatever decorating sense DW likes like a theme tree or simple white lights and all single colored balls reflecting the sparkle). Another suggest would be to buy some artificial garland and go around the kitchen window of whatever and let the kiddies hang their 'special' ornaments on that. Where there's a compromising will there's a way to ditch the SS shrine in the livingroom and enjoy your main tree again.
Suggest DW get crafty and make a scrapbook with SS for all his 'my years through-out all my Christmas' (a cool keepsake that SS can drag out each year and show his own children some day).
My own DD went pink tree in her bedroom this year. We just re-did her bedroom this past summer to pink/white and black and she asked for a new tree this year for it. It's a totally girlie tree and she's thrilled to pieces. She put it up and decorated it this last weekend. Tonight she will do the decorations on the main livingroom tree now that I have the harder basics on it and ready for her to put the ornaments on.
Or wouldn't it be great to
Or wouldn't it be great to show how special all of the kids are? Of course, at 50 ornaments each, he'll need a tree per kid. If there's still time to order 50 DD and DS themed ornaments (EACH), Draco could make this Christmas super special for DW. If not, he could start working on making next year that special.
My guess is that, the following year, the tree will only be about 1/3 as special per child. }:)
>I don't know how my parents
>I don't know how my parents did it with the family tree and 5 girls. We all had our own collection and fought for the coveted spaces on the tree. I think they were relieved when we started venturing out on our own and made the tree a little less chaotic as each girl left.<
Oh crap! I think I just got visited by the ghost of Christmas Future! When my bios get older, the "SS Shrine Tree" will become....*bellowing voice* "THE TREE OF CHAOS!"
I have to sympathize with you
I have to sympathize with you on this one. When SD was little DH kept every crappy school craft she ever made and hung it on the Christmas tree. He and she got matching ornaments, he had ornaments with her picture on them, etc. OK, fine and great, but when he and I got married and had our two BDs he did NOT do the same for them. When SD stopped coming over at all except to collect her gifts, I stopped hanging all that crap on the tree. DH immediately noticed and rummaged through the tubs looking for them. I'm sorry, I feel a certain way about my tree, I'm OK with sentimental ornaments but the crappy homemade ones belong on a tree in SD's bedroom, in my opinion. It took him two or three years to finally stop dragging those things out. I still put the decent ones up, I'm not excluding her entirely, but I'm the one that does the putting up and taking down of decorations and the only thing he was doing was stepping in at the last minute and forcing even more of SD onto our tree. He has never hung a single thing made by our two BDs on that tree!
I had a tree that was
I had a tree that was decorated with ornaments from ExH and my travels, BS28's ornaments. I could see that I'd have to redo all of that. I collect pigs and have spent some serious money on pig ornaments over the years. Our tree is my tree. The skids each have 3 ornaments with their names on them, DH has a few ornaments and BS28 hasn't taken his ornaments with him but it is mainly my tree with the pigs. I add more each year, DH loves that I've spent time collecting all of them.
We do have a smaller tree in our family room, DH and I picked heart ornaments for that tree, it is our love tree. We've added ornaments to that one in the past few years.
Skids have their shrine at BM's house, every ornament is a gift from BM's family for each skid.
I get it completely. I moved
I get it completely. I moved in with my SO 2 years ago, I didn't bring much of my XMAS decorations, but left them to my DD as she now has her own place. Last year I did not have a stocking, SO had one and so did both skids. He did apologize to me after XMAS for not getting me one and putting it up. So this year, he gave me his stocking as he found one in his mother's stuff that was his when he was 2. So now we will have a stocking for him, me and 2 skids. I was thinking last night that we should have a stocking for my DD if we are going to have one for his kids, they are all young adults and to me that would only be fair. His kids have never lived at the house we are in now, his youngest spent a little time with us during her last few months of HS. As far as I'm concerned it shouldn't be any different for my daughter than his. But I think his kids would freak out if they had to share their 'holiday' with my daughter. It's just an awkward time of the year.