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25 manners every kid should know by age 9

dakotamom's picture

i found this article online and it has me cracking up as ss16 and ss18 dont appear to know how to execute these!!!

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9.

Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
By David Lowry, Ph.D.

Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-

Manner #1

When asking for something, say "Please."

Manner #2

When receiving something, say "Thank you."

Related: Kid-Made Thank You Notes

Manner #3
Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4

If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5

When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6
The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

Manner #7
Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Related: Raise Polite Kids

Manner #8
When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9

When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10
Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

Manner #11
When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12
Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Related: Print and Color Cards for Birthdays, Thank-Yous and More!

Manner #13
Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14

Don't call people mean names.

Manner #15
Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

Related: Raise a Compassionate Kid

Manner #16
Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

Manner #17
If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."

Related: Quiz: What's Your Parenting Style?

Manner #18
Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.

Related: How to Handle Inappropriate Behavior

Manner #19

As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20
If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

Manner #21
When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Related: Use this Table-Setting Map as a Guide

Manner #22
When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23
Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Related: Mrs. McVeigh Weighs in on Proper Utensil Use and More!

Manner #24

Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25

Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.


BettyRay's picture

Just saw this on Yahoo amd printed a copy for DH!

My SSs still haven't mastered #23 & #25. I'm a stickler for table manners, the boys look at me like I'm nuts when I correct them, I think DH gets annoyed too but I don't care manners matter!


dakotamom's picture

ss16 reminds me of how someone in prison would eat (i watch too much tv). low stance with arms out protecting the sides of his plate scooping from the front.

BettyRay's picture

SS14 does this too. I'm constantly reminding him elbows off the table. SS14 also holds a glass like a 3 y.o. gripping a sippy-cup, both hands wrapped around the glass, elbows out. Poor SS9 is always having to dodge SS14's elbows.


Shaman29's picture

Kids?? Geez....most of the alleged adults I know could used these lessons too!

Love the list! I'm sending it to DH. Smile

dakotamom's picture

why should kids know this by 9 but most skids seem to lack????
do they have an article for what to expect skids to know/do??? bet you wouldnt make it to 25 items!

Auteur's picture

I can honestly say that all three skids SS14, SD12 and SS8, do NONE of these EVER!! I think I saw SS14 hold a door open for someone one time but that was it.

Hell even GG doesn't get #11!!!

He returns a call and says "Is this so and so?" Instead of saying: "hi i'm GG and I"m returning a call from so and so"

This is for a BUSINESS as well!

I want to tell him this but he'll just hand wave me off and and say "BAH!"

Elizabeth's picture

No. 19 was my pet peeve with SD. She would literally refuse to hold up her hand to hold a door open. She expected DH or whatever other adult who was with her to hold the door open for her. I'm not even sure she knew HOW to open a door. Hmmm.. DH used to even come around the car and open the door for her. Pathetic. I finally got fed up with being "polite" and holding the door for her. It's not like she would put up her hand and take the door. She would literally walk all the way through and continue on her way, leaving me to look like the doorman. Finally one day I'd had enough. I held the door open just long enough for SD to step into it, then let go and continued on my way. Yep, door whammed her in the face (couldn't be bothered to put her hand up). DH was SO mad at me (as was SD), but I didn't care. Learn some manners and stop acting like a princess.

dakotamom's picture

how did you keep from laughing?!?! i let out a little laugh just imagining doing this to a skid!!!!! bawhahahahah }:)

Elizabeth's picture

Oh, I don't think I was successful in hiding my amusement, which is why DH was so mad at me. He thought I'd hit her in the face with the door on purpose. No, I just got tired of holding the door for her EVERY time and her never even raising her arm. Grrrr.

Here's how it looked when the three of us approached a door:
DH would "drop back" so he could hold the door for his precious poopsie princess. This would leave me to open the door for myself, then hold it open because I was taught (properly) as a child not to drop the door on the person behind you. Then DH would take the door from me (I am already inside), and SD would regally walk through. And I'm talking ages 5-14 here.

Here's how it looked when it was just SD and I:
If SD arrived at the door first, she would just stand there and wait for me to open it. If I arrived first, she would lag behind enough that I had to hold it open to keep from dropping it in her face. Then she would waltz through like I was a doorman. It was especially fun if there were two doors, as she would then wait at the next one for me to repeat the cycle.

Even me dropping the door on her didn't fix it. Shrug.

dakotamom's picture

are you talking #8?? i thought it said age first too! i guess i put in my own word!

CowGirl's picture

Oh my goodness!!!

I just read this earlier & #5 - When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later. It made me think of my BF. Haha.

SisterNeko's picture

OMG i saw this too - I was going to print it out and put it on the frig. The Skids can be so rude but I think it because no one has even told them how to act.