Please give some feed back or advise!!!!!!!!
My first blog but I have been doing a lot of reading on this site and it has HELPED me feel so much better at times. But now I need to blog-I need advise. I have a 9yo BD(her BF has never been around but she calls my husband daddy and loves him very much) I have a 3yo BS1 and a 1yo BS2, and another baby on the way, all with my husband (this is my first and only marriage).
I have 3 s-kids 10yo SD1, 6yo SD2, and 7yo SS. My s-kids are very rude, very sloppy, have horrible hygeine,know way too much for their age, and have horrible attitudes. Over the years I have dealt with so much from them, they never listen they laugh in my face, roll their eyes at me, stare me down as if they were going to kill me,bump into me on purpose and say whoops with a smile, have even kicked me, talk over me and just treat me like a POS. Also, 10yo SD1 makes a joke out of my BD and my BD doesn't realize that she is really being rude and sarcastic!All 3 of my s-kids are mean to my BS's. When my BS1 was born the s-kids were pinching him and intentionally hurting him when he was just a little baby my husband and I caught them SEVERAL times. Now we watch very closely but they still do things of course on the sneak, but I have caught them yelling at my BS's pointing in their faces, picking them up and plopping them down very hard, they constantly push them away and push them and knock them over. In front of my husband they pretend to be OVERLY sweet to my boys and says things to them that me or my BD say to them. Also in front of my husband they act very nice to me and tell me how pretty I am and smother me with compliments----especially the 10yoSD.
Now my 10yoSD she has gotten better with her behavior just gives me the attitude once in a while and rolls her eyes or says sarcastice insults, but im ok with that I get it- i'm the step mom.My 6yoSD is the devil in disguise but is starting to not be as tough to deal with just a lot of attitude, still jumps around a lot and screams and yells like my SS does.
****So I had a hard enough time dealing with the s-kids on the weekends-I don't want my kids learning any more bad behavior from them---my 3yoBS1 was being kicked and pushed and spit at by the s-kids now my 3yoBS1 does it to my 1yoBS2!!!I am tired of my B-kids getting mistreated----I'm tired of the constant sickness coming to my house week after week the s-kids are sick----they have horrible hygeine thumb sucking nosepicking(and eating it),they don't wipe themselves in the bathroom,get poop and pee on the seat floor and walls, have horrible oders (feet,body and urine and stool)yuk! But they don't like to wash their hands!!!And they have this problem that they touch EVERYTHING they walk past even the walls it drives me nuts-- but worst of all is that that constantly tuch my BS's toys!!They are 1&3 so of course they are going to put the toys in their mouth or their hands in their mouths.My skids also break my B-kids toys rip the books break things around the house and blame it on someone else.
*****So at first I felt bad for these kids thought I can't blame them because it's really not their fault. I treated them extra good and tried to help them out I always was the one cleaning up after them, giving them their baths, teaching them how to wash right, wipe right, wash their hands, and even how to brush their teeth. I always washed ther laundry, gave them medicine when they were sick took care of their neglected infected wounds, burns,ear infections so bad puss was leaking all over out of their ears and they were picking at it and wiping it all over, etc(their BM is a real winner she acts like a selfish high schooler)But I dealt with it, the running through the house the jumping on the furniture the jumping off the beds the screaming and yelling fighting with each other all the time!!I try to correct it over and over again and just hope it will stop!!!!!My B-kids are very loving to each other and sweet to each other and I work very hard at raising my B-kids the right way, and the s-kids come and just corrupt them!!!
******But now I kind of gave up on trying so hard because....... i'm sick of them treating me like a POS
i'm sick of constantly cleaning the bathroom
i'm sick of begging for respect
i'm sick of the yelling and jumping around
i'm sick of the arrogance
i'm sick of the attitude and eye rolling
i'm sick of the fake compliments
i'm sick of constantly having to remind them of the rules when they know them but do things they are not suppossed to as soon as no one is looking.
i'm sick of my BS's having to be kept locked up in the living room so they could be safe away from my skids.
i'm sick of my husband acting like i'm just an over reactor!!!
*****What's worse is now my 7yo SS is now living with us for a few months----BM can't handle him anymore
We have tried to get the kids in the past, but were unsuccessful and their behavior has just gotten more out of control, because skids BM just dumps them anywhere and doesn't care if they don't take a shower or brush their teeth for a week or two or what they eat or even how they act or what they do-it's a "free for all" environment. She only teaches them to lie and be mean to each other.So the BM created these MONSTERS and now is starting to dump them on us starting with the worst one --my SS.
****It's been horrible!!!!!
I try talking to my husband and he basically is like "I have enough to deal with stop complaining" he acts as is if i'm over reacting---he tells me stop watching him(my SS)and I won't notice!!!!!!If I blind folded my self my ss's behavior would still be a problem!!!
***My once peaceful happy home is now miserable, my husband gives me attitude all the time and has been avoiding me, but acting as if he is just busy.He apologizes but does it again any way. I feel like he doesn't want to be with me anymore but doesn't want to go through another divorce and fight over a house money and have to pay more child support. My B-kids are not getting enough attention from me because of having to deal with my ss. Plus I have been impatient with my bkids because i'm so stressed out with all this on my mind. I have no one to talk to no friends, I have been home--which also is making me feel like crap---I have put off my education and my career--i'm an RN was working on my Masters for school nursing but that got put on hold so my husband can pursue his educational goals, and I just finally started back to school this year and here comes ss.
******I'm very unhappy and I am starting to feel like I want a divorse! I was a single mother in the past and my BD and I were fine we have an awesome relationsip and she is a great kid! I got through college as single mom and now I have a career, I think I could do it and be fine.
I love my husband to death and feel like he is my soul mate, but the skids and their BM are horrible and making our lives miserable!!!
I used to be this happy person always smiling had lots of patience never got angry. Now I rarely feel happy, snap easily have no patience. I feel like my skids and their BM have made me into this ugly person that I HATE!!! I hate feeling like this yes I am pregnent but I have been feeling like this even before the pregnancy.
Oh yes my 3yoBS has a sleep disorder and the therapist thinks it is due to trauma.....hhhmmmm evil step siblings. And my husband constantly says he is a brat! Gee maybe because he cant sleep at night so he is cranky through out the day and is constantly getting antagonized by his Step brother, and pushed around and yelled at by his step siblings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
******So some advise please......I don't know if I should leave my husband or not........I just want my kids to be happy, my husband to be happy,and I want to be happy.....does it get better really? I can't deal with this for a life time........if I stay with him and his kids go with their mom he will probably resent me and my kids forever and our relationship will get worse anyway right????I don't know what to do right now I just cry a lot and feel like I want to take my kids and RUN AWAY!!!!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!