My DH feels that sending his son to a summer camp for 1-2 week is not acceptable. I think he feels guilty and is afraid SS will feel like he's being abandoned. I explained it was all in the way you handle it with SS and if you make it sound fun then the kid will be excited vs upset. Also, camp would give "US" a break from the drama and allow "US" to rekindle the flame. Not to mention SS10 would enjoy having fun in the great outdoors and playing with children his own age. PLUS SS's therapist HIGHLY suggested putting him into camp and summer programs to help SS gain the social skills he lacks before the next school year starts.
DH says "Sorry but I like having my son around. Sorry I'm not like you and enjoy having your kids gone for half the summer."
I said "If my kids BD was in prison for life like SS's BM then my BC would be here 100% of the time too. I WOULD have no problem sending them off to a week long summer camp, it's not uncommon for families to send their children to camps. Plus it's sad because SS has no friends and spends his summer days sitting outside playing his gameboy, watching tv or reading. That means that this is the 6th year SS will have a miserable/boring summer ALONE."
I then proceeded to remind my husband that my BC will be back in a few weeks from their BD and how do you think SS will feel when they return with stories of California pool parties, theme park adventures, camping/fishing trips, etc? SS's going to think his summer SUCKED again. DH just basically shrugged his shoulders and walked away. (BIG SIGH)
I personally cant spend all day taking SS to places to have fun, I work a full time job and DH works FT and goes to school PT.
Even our family counselor wrote a special letter to the YMCA requesting help for SS and my husband refuses to do anything with it. All he has to do is walk into the YMCA and get registered....but I wont do it for him so he just gave up. That's been the problem the entire 8 years we've been together, DH never wants to do anything for his son and wants me to do it all. Yet he tells me that he wants his son around, spend time with him, teaching him things, take him places BUT then sits on his butt and plays XBOX360 for hours.
My problem with it is that I take care of business as soon as shit happens. My B-kids have a problem? I'm there and ready to take action! My B-kids need counseling? I'm there and ready to take action! They screw up? I'm there and ready to take action! I would walk to the end of the earth to help my BC, why wont DH for his own? I know I can't change DH and have to deal with it but man it's tough.
Oh yeah! And due to my conversation with DH last night, he immediately texted our marriage counselor and setup an emergency counseling session for ME tomorrow. Wait till she hears why....all because I suggested a week long summer camp for SS. Oh well, I'm taking the opportunity to vent and get some feedback on how I need to handle this. It'll do me some good.