Does happiness ever come back??????
OK so dealing with my SS is very hard and even when him and his sisters are only here on weekends it's hard.I feel incredibly guilty that my own children have experienced so much drama from this whole mess. I'm never happy anymore, i'm not myself anymore, I used to be so happy any relaxed all the time and calm and optimistic, what happened to me. These skids and their BM have ruined my whole outlook on life. I have put my own Bkids aside for these skids to make things "fair" and "comfertable" for them and they are nothing but ignorrant little brats.
I know I can't live like this anymore. I am SICK of feeling this way.
My husband seems to understand at times but at other times he just seems angry with me and sides with the skids but in a way to not get me so angry.....weird.
I feel like the drama just gets worse and I am sick of going through it, I just want to enjoy my children and be happy again!
I truely do love my husband very very much. The only reason i'm still with him is because I love him very much he has a big heart and treats me very well,he's my best friend(only friend) but I am starting to realize that no matter how strong our love is- the skids and their BM will ALWAYS be there to cause drama.So, true happiness will never really exist.
I would miss my usband very much-and it sucks to feel like this is the only way.
***********Has anyone actually left-do you feel happy again??? Or are you sad still because you miss your husband --or wife????
***********I have already been told and witnessed that things just get worse as time goes by.
******And what if your husband decides to chose you over the skids then he just feels resentful towards you and horrible himself, so both ways lose!!!!!
- crystalyzed's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
No, it won't. As long as we
No, it won't. As long as we continue to stay in our current situation, it won't get better. Sure, every now and then there is a glimpse of happiness on the horizon being a stepparent. But, it is really not worth it. Preach this: don't let your children, when they are grown, marry anyone with kids.
I am definitly going to make
I am definitly going to make sure that never happens to my children, It's crazy I have never been so happy(with a man) but yet so miserable at the same time....it's crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!
I felt exactly the same way
I felt exactly the same way you do. I left in August. I noticed in myself that i was me again after about 2 weeks -- it has felt so good! It was like i was living in a dark cloud -- my BD12 too! It is great to have both of us back again. It was hard to leave. It caused me alot of anxiety to make the decision, but i also had a lot of anxiety staying. I feel so healthy & happy now. Seriously -- i don't think i would do it again. You have to do what is best for you and your children. Good luck!
Good for you, Cowgirl!!!
Good for you, Cowgirl!!! Kudos for not letting YOUR biodaughter take a backseat to some biodad's bad parenting/unwillingness to stand up to an unreasonable, hateful BM!!
Thank you, that is exactly
Thank you, that is exactly how I feel like i'm living in a dark cloud. Yes happy times come up rarely and don't last for long. Do you miss our husband?
No, not really. We weren't
No, not really. We weren't married but together almost 4 years - living together for over 3. I know it sounds mean, but thinking back to what i tolerated and trying to make it work outweighed the random happy moments. I was very much in love with him and he was sweet to me, but he lacked boundaries with skids & BM.
crystalyzed & CowGirl, YOu
crystalyzed & CowGirl,
YOu both made an excellent point. However, you are missing the fact that your DH was once head over heel for the BM. I repeat, once. The person that you love, once was head over heel for someone else, so much so that they were willing to create a child with.
That thought alone should be enough to make you want to vomit and say to yourself, I want no part of that. Hope that helps.
^^^ i second Echo. Many a
^^^ i second Echo.
Many a baby has been made out of nothing put sheer horniness and stupidity. Sometimes even while mom and dad were married }:)
I beg to differ. By BM's own
I beg to differ. By BM's own admission, SD15 was made because DH had asked for a divorce and she said she knew she would get enough child support for two kids that she wouldn't have to work. Also, I have my doubts about SS being DH's, so there might have been love, but it was with someone else.
Ifeeya, I LOVE the way you
Ifeeya, I LOVE the way you think!!!
Straightforward approach. You cut right to the chase and say what everyone on this board knows. . .being with a man who has spawn from a previously enjoyed uterus SUCKS!!!
It's definitely a BROKEN love triangle. SM chases biodad, biodad chases BM and spawn, BM and spawn chase biodad's wallet.
Echo & Agent_Lovely, Thanks
Echo & Agent_Lovely,
Thanks for your two cents. I see that point that you are trying to make. By the same token, you have to consider that it was the DH who chose to sleep with the BM. What that said about the DH is that they made very poor choices in choosing a partner.
Why would you want someone in your life, as your life-partner, who continues to make bad choices in life times and times again?
I don't want a life partner who did not think twice about the consequences of having children. When creating a child or children with BM, did the DH think about those things. Probably not. That is poor judgement and poor choices. Sure, there are a lot of people out there who are like that, like you said. But, why do you want them as your life partner?
It is better to say no and find someone else.
So ... on the flip side --
So ... on the flip side -- what does that make me? I am a BM. I married a man that i was totally in love with, had a child with but realized we were just not good together. I have boundaries with my ExH, love my BD's SM and know her place in my BD's life. I do not cause any issues in their home. I happen to think i am pretty awesome