You are here

I need to get to a lawyer..

cornflower's picture

DH and I have been discussing wills. As we are trying to have children, I want to leave my estate to my children, but HE wants me to split it equally between our kids and his two kids. I don’t think this is fair because then the older two will be 'double dipping' as they will also inherit from their Mother, whereas my/our children will only inherit from ME.

DH pretty much had nothing when we married. He was seriously ill after he split from BM and spent his share of the proceeds of the divorce on medical bills and living expenses as he could not work. All of our assets were mine from before we married.

Anyway, because we are at loggerheads over the wills, I doubt very much he will make a will. This means that in the event of his death, he will die intestate, in which case the kids can apply for a set percentage of his estate. What I’m worried about, is that if he dies before I do, BM will come after my assets through the kids, claiming that it is part of his estate.

So I need to go and get some legal advice about protecting my assets from his EX. Maybe I need to put everything into a trust fund that she can never touch or something. My SS12 is already all about the $$. It’s pretty sad really. He has no love of me, and I could very well expect that as an adult he will go for all he can get with his Mother pushing him along. That’s what is happening now, so I don’t think I’m paranoid to think that this will happen in the future.

(BTW This is the woman who told my DH that he was not 'supposed' to go on a honeymoon, because he should have given the money we spent on the trip to her! Such a sense of entitlement…)


Dawn-Moderator's picture

I too am concerned about these kind of issues. My parents are concerned as well. They told me that they wanted to leave "x" amount of dollars to each of their grand kids, which would include my stepson. However, they are afraid that if they did that and then something happened to me and my husband that stepson's mother would get control of the money.

My husband didn't have a whole lot when we got married either. Most of the assests were mine. When he and the ex broke up(they were never married), he pretty much had his car(a piece of crap) and some clothes. That is it. We've worked hard to get to where we are today and I don't want the ex getting control of my money either.

When we were dating, his ex told him that I should use my money to pay his bills so he could give her more money!!! NOT!

I think that getting a lawyer and setting up a trust is the way to go. We keep putting it off but we need to do it.


downtrodden's picture

Put the money into a trust that will not allow the child to have the money until they are an adult. I guarantee the bio mother will not get her hands on it.

Anonymous's picture

Hey, you work hard. It shouldn't matter if you work outside the home or simply a "home manager" :). When and if you have children, anything that is rightfully yours (or even part yours) should go to YOUR children.

Your husband has his part of the estate, and he can designate it to whomever he chooses. Let's not forget that your husband's children has a mother. She can leave whatever estate/monies that she has for them.

It isn't up to you to provide for your stepchildren after death (unless you just want to) They have their own biological parents.

Stepmalla's picture

All my family heirlooms, the paintings, jewelry, carpets and furniture -- all go to our child.
My stepchildren already have a savings account -- that will be left to them.
What was my money before the marriage will all go to our child.
The remainder will be split between the children.
If he dies first, I get everything except the account that has been reserved for the stepchildren. I will be an old lady who will need it more than they do...