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Am I in it for the long haul?-A Vent and a question

constantly_irritated's picture

My sucky ass SS12 has decided that he is going to escalate with me. I'm so sick of this. Last night DH had a talk about how I am completely fed up with his behavior. In the past few months he has:

-Snuck an old cell phone to download games (all guns and killing).
-Texting people horrible cuss words even though his friends texted him back to stop.
-Cut the power chord of my computer because his cell phone was taken away.
-Spit on an assignment his teacher gave him and said, "That's what I think of your assignment."
-Hacked his phone (which was blocked from the internet) and downloaded games (part II or III of the above problem)
-Flipped out on a teacher so bad that they FINALLY suspended him.

So I finally had it. I took all video games and returned them to Gamestop and was promptly told by DH that that wasn't fair because he used his money to buy some of those games. I SS's cell phone to a friend and told DH that if another smartphone comes into my house for SS I give it away again. I was told that I'm going to the extreme. After the suspension, I decided that SS12 needed to lose his Nerfguns now, and I was told that I am doing my best to strip my SS down to nothing.

So I said I was leaving and am done. That's when the come to Jesus meeting happened and DH talked out of his piehole and said he would lay down the law (yeah right). Now SS is at BM's house and is being brainwashed.

What do you think? Am I going too far?

My dad's wife (sort of stepmom, but they've only been together for a little while) sent me this long ass email about how I shouldn't give up on SS and basically that I need to change in order to keep my family together. Except once again, I am the only person who makes his f-ing psychology appts, dental appts, eye appts, doctor appts, gets him in to sports, makes sure he does his homework, etc. (Yeah, I get it, it's a cry for his REAL parents to pay attention, hence the reason I should leave) and have I EVER been thanked? Nope, not once.

Comments

Aeron's picture

If it was your kid, no, not too far. However, your husband is making it very clear that he doesn't want your help in parenting his total brat. So stop. Disengage. Hand ALL of it over to dad and BM. Do Nothing for this kid.

Dad doesn't appreciate it, kid doesn't appreciate it. So save your own sanity and just Stop. Step back. Only handle things that Directly affect you. Kid getting attitude in your face - call him on it. Kid messing with your property. Otherwise, not your kid, not your problem. Let his parents deal with the appointments, the school, the whatever. Stop caring more than his parents do. Make them step up.

Your ready to leave anyway, you might as well give it a try if you're wavering at all. Otherwise, do it and leave. You didn't bring this kid into the world you shouldn't have to deal with his destruction and disrespect. But it's going to take his dad actually stepping up and Parenting to fix it. If you don't have faith in your husband, cut your losses. And ignore your SM. if she hasn't been a SM to a rebellious unabhppy teenager, and her step kids have all been decent humans to her, her perspective isn't going to be realistic.

constantly_irritated's picture

Nice advice, very cut and dry, sounds like something I would say to my own friend.

nothinforya's picture

And absolutely correct advice. Life is too short to spend much of it on BS.

StarStuff's picture

I don't think you went too far, but it's too bad that you're the one that's having to do it and DAD isn't doing anything about it. That's what the fuck is wrong with the brat. God, what an awful specimen of humanity. I feel for you. Your DH needs to man the f*ck up. And no, you don't need to change to "keep the family together". You're doing just fine. It's your DH and SS that need to do the changing. Power on!

Cocoa's picture

i don't think you're going too far. i think you did a great job! it's your house and if that kid can destroy YOUR property, you can certainly get rid of his. if his dad doesn't like it, there's the door.