SD is exactly like BM
SD (15) and DH do not get along at all. SD has picked up all of BM’s worst traits and all of the things that made DH and BM completely incompatible.
DH has been going to family counseling sessions with SD and it hasn’t been working. SD is exactly like her mom, has all of the traits that resulted in her mom becoming a drug addict and incarcerated. DH sees SD’s life headed in the same direction unless SD changes. SD is unwilling and unable to change.
DH accepting SD for what she is not going to happen.
DH and BM were never married and never even lived together. He says that once he really got to know BM, he knew the relationship would never work out, but SD happened so he felt trapped (BM’s likely intent). All they ever did was argue and fight - and now it's DH arguing with SD instead of BM.
BM is out of the picture now and we have SD full-time- technically. SD is still in a psychiatric treatment center. She’s been transferred to a different facility since she doesn’t quite need the level of care she had at the previous one. She probably could be released, but she refuses to come home and doesn’t want to talk to her father.
DH is so fed up with the way SD acts. There’s no possible way he can just accept that’s the way she is and learn to live with it. Medication aren’t working and they are limited on what can be prescribed because SD has a heart condition. It’s not serious now, but certain medications can make it worse. Pretty much it limits out a lot of the major medications.
I’m not sure if it’s fortunate or not, but so far no diagnosis for bipolar or anything more serious – just depression, anxiety and the alphabet soup of other things (ADHD, ODD, SPD). They tried a medication for bipolar depression, but that had very adverse side effects and didn’t help. DH wants so med to be the major cure, but it hasn’t happened yet and who knows if SD will tolerate the side effects long enough to see if any combination of these meds will help. If it was some major condition, then maybe it would explain why she is the way she is and people would know how to treat it. It feels like everything is an expensive guess. Every psychiatrist has a new treatment plan and none are working. Nor will SD give the meds time to work.
The other big challenge with SD is that she complains about anything. She has zero tolerance for any discomfort. If there is a minor side effect, she blows it out of proportion. If she’s slightly dizzy from a medication, then it’s the biggest problem in the entire world and she can’t function.
Its ridiculously expensive for SD to stay at this facility but DH doesn’t know what else to do. But he doesn’t see any progress. Its stalling until she comes home and then what?
Honestly the underlining problem is that DH and SD can’t and probably never will get along. She’s too much like BM and DH and BM could never get along, no matter how much they tried for the sake of SD.
DH can’t look at SD and not see how she is exactly like BM and not see her headed in exactly the same direction.