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Court Yesterday...

Colorado Girl's picture

First of all...I truly appreciate all my friends who have followed my not so stepparent related story, and kept me in your thoughts and prayers. From the bottom of my heart...thank you.

So ultimately, it got continued until March 3rd (next week). Not because either of us requested it, but simply because we ran out of time.

BUT, thankfully, I testified as did my BS12's therapist. So I don't have to worry about having to testify anymore which seemed to be my biggest anxiety. The devil still wore a ponytail and a cheap suit made of silk and his lawyer, the willing accomplice in this farce, didn't bother to brush his hair.

I take back any adverse word I ever spoke of my son's therapist. Her testimony was flawless and she turned out to be the best adversary I could have ever hoped for. His lawyer adamantly objected to her testimony based on the fact that he had never gotten to speak to her. My lawyer had endorsed her properly and filed all the necessary paperwork all in a timely manner so she was allowed to testify. She, in a nutshell, basically painted a beautiful picture of a young boy who is open to a relationship with his biological father but that this father should respect the fact that my son's therapeutic diagnosis is one of abandonment and realize that he fears the unknown. She stated that I was a wonderful mother who is only looking out for the best interest of a son who I love very much and whose mother/son bond is a very strong one. She stated that all contact between biodad and son should be supervised and should be supervised by the person he feels safest with...his mother.

During cross examination, biodad's lawyer objected again asking that therapist's testimony be stricken being that he was never given her "notes". The judge stated that he understood that he didn't want the therapist to testify, but that he had no legal basis to his objection...he was given proper notice and he had almost three months to contact the therapist, so please refrain from objecting to a subject that he's already ruled on. His lawyer then tried to disparage me asking the therapist if she was aware of the times I had withheld visitation. She stated that she was aware and she supported my decision to do so. His lawyer didn't have much to say after that.

So then I took the stand.

Upon the advice of my lawyer, my testimony was not emotional but instead fact based all for the benefit of the judge who he believed to be "no nonsense". Even when his lawyer challenged me, I responded with intelligence and facts. When biodad didn't like something I said, he reacted by throwing his arms in the air or slamming his hands on the table. It was quite the debacle. His lawyer kept harping me with the same line of questioning about my "withholding of visitation" and when my attorney objected, the judge explained to his lawyer that this is not a fault trial and that it's obvious that irregardless, biodad had only seen the child a handful of times..."so lets move on". There was nothing else to ask of me.

Needless to say, DH and my attorney said that I did "great".

So now, what's said is said and we'll let the chips fall where they may land. I have a renewed hope. The devil hired I believe the worst attorney ever.

I guess you "pay for what you get".

That's the Dave Matthews song I listened to on the way to the courthouse. Smile Gotta love Dave.


Serena's picture

I'm soooo happy for you! I know this isn't a final outcome, but it sounds promising! That had to be terrifying and I suspect I'll face the same thing in the next few years. I'm proud of you and thanks for giving me hope! Please keep us posted!

Sita Tara's picture

I always feel when we put our own attachments to what we want on these things to the side, and speak honestly, sincerely and without bias as much as possible when speaking to the professionals, in other words when we put our egos on the shelf in what is truly in the best interests of our kids....

That we will shine. And those who cannot do all that will show their true colors.

I am so happy for you that today went well. I know we owed a ton to our therapist going out on a limb for us too. I will never forget the gratitude I felt when we read the GAL report where the Dr gave the GAL her most basic but pointed opinion of BM, of us, of Me, and of SD having the best chance to flourish in DH and my most healthy home due to our collaborative relationship.


"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

Chel Bell's picture

you made it through, and you did great. I, m sure the "chips" will fall in the right place. I'm so happy for you. Smile "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch

stepmasochist's picture

I know the jury's still out on this, but it sounds like it went well with you looking like the picture of motherhood, sanity and responsibility and the ex and his lawyer looking like idiots. WTG!

Although it's not completely wrapped up, hopefully it's a little weight off your shoulders - at least getting the testimony out of the way.

Good luck next week!

sweetthing's picture

It sounds like it went well. How could it not, you are an unbelieveable mom & he is the devil. Keep us posted, I know that good will prevail. Smile

DISbelief's picture

that's good news!


~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

secondwife20's picture

That's great news! I'm so glad things went that well for you today! Things are looking great!

Please let us know what happens. Smile *hugs*

sarahbernheart's picture

awesome CG
good guys/gals do sometimes get a break!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Sasha's picture

Good for you! I'm so glad to hear you maintained your composure with what I'm sure was a nerve-wracking experience.

It's so sad that some parents just don't understand the far reaching and long lasting effects abandonment and rejection can have on a child.

Rags's picture

I have found that when I maintain my cool on the stand things go better. Though in my case that is difficult since I spend the first hour or so refusing to provide my income information until the judge threatens me with contempt.

Usually it goes something like this:

Judge: Mr Rags, please provide the court with your income information.

Rags: You honor I am not a party to the case and therefore can provide nothing but my testimony.

Judge: The court requires your income information.

Rags: Your honor, if I am not a party to the case then my income is not a party the case and my income is irrelevant.

Judge: Mr Rags, do you intend to provide your income information?

Rags: Your honor, am a I a party to the case?

Judge: No you are not a party to the case.

Rags: Then I am not obligated to provide any information on my income.

Judge: Submit your income information or I will find you in contempt of court and you can stay in jail until you provide the information mandated by the court.

Rags: Here you go your honor but only under protest and in recognition that this is asinine crap and a violation of my rights not to incriminate myself.

Judge: You are pleading the 5th???????

Rags: You are going to use the information I provide to reduce BioDad's CS obligation so my financial information will adversely impact my financial situation which seems to be self incrimination to me.

Judge: You are not an attorney are you Mr Rags?

Rags: No but I am an Engineer and facts and logic are irrefutable.

Judge: You pay an attorney to provide you council. Did your attorney warn you that this stance would likely end up with you in jail for contempt of court.

Rags: If I am not a party to the case why would I need to obtain the services of an attorney? I have no attorney, my wife does. My wife's attorney mentioned it though.

Judge: Mr Rags I want the information with not another word from you or I will find you in contempt.

Rags: Silently points at the manila envelope that was placed on front of the judge half way through the conversation.....

It is not an easy thing to get the judge on your side after you piss them off.

Good job CG, I am sure the end result will be positive for you and your boy.

Best regards,

Colorado Girl's picture

I swear I'd lose it...

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

stepwitch's picture

Have some wine now....I'll be waiting for the results next week...luv ya.

Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

now4teens's picture

I am so happy that, in the end, it looks like the truth will prevail and your ex will be seen for the 'devil' he is!

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

stepwitch's picture

"mikes first wife was DEAD". Hysterical !!

Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Sounds like it may swing in your favour. I have my fingers crossed for you.

Now go and relax in a nice bath with a glass of red, you deserve it.

Colorado Girl's picture

I really appreciate it!!!

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley