You are here

I just don't get it...

Colorado Girl's picture

So I went to court yesterday.

Recap for those who don't BS12's biodad left me when I was 17 and pregnant and resurfaced 2 years ago. He met my son at that time and has seen him twice since then. I had a hearing in May granting me full custody and now biodad is contesting it. My second final orders hearing was yesterday and biodad hired an attorney at the very last minute. He skipped out on mediation and my lawyer was confident that with or without a lawyer, we would be able to proceed being that biodad has willfully disregarded 2 hearings and mediation.

Well, he was wrong. Sad

Judge granted a continuance and ordered us back to mediation. My lawyer questioned why since we already went to mediation and he didn't show up. Judge replied that he doesn't want to hear arguments until after mediation.

I don't get it.

Why is it that I have done EVERYthing I was supposed to do since the day he was born and he has done NOTHING? Yet he still gets to basically do whatever the hell he wants with no consequence. He only pays child support when CSE takes it from him. He's still in arrears.

Where is the justice?

He petitioned the court to telephone conference since he's out of the country and didn't even have BS12's birth date right.

The best part was when I was sitting there waiting for the judge to call us and in walks biodad's 16 year old daughter's mom. WTF? What does she have to do with anything? She just sat there and glared at me. My lawyer encouraged me to not care. I just didn't see the point of her presence. She has nothing to do with nothing.

It's just not fair. I'm out $3,000 so far. All to take me right back to the beginning. The judge didn't even care that he's skipped out on two hearings and mediation.... and was even encouraging biodad saying that he's glad that he's decided to take part in his son's life.

I am just heartbroken.


Colorado Girl's picture

for November 12th. Final Orders (3rd time's a charm) scheduled for January 26th.

I'm angry and I'm hurt. I'm ready to cry and spit nails all at the same time.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

stepwitch's picture

A continuance? What was the judge thinking, obviously wasn't. I hate this is happening to you. I hate that this is happening more so for your son. I'm sure he has dealt with the feeling of abandonment for so long and now he can't be feeling good. Poor thing, prayers going up for your whole family. I know this is tearing you up.

As for the BD's daughters mom - who care about her, you are right she has nothing to do with nothing, I'm sure BD sent her there to get the story. She probably felt more insecure than what you think. She was probably thinking....damn, CG is beautiful.........

Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

Colorado Girl's picture

I am so pissed at biodad and his whole flock...they all can bugger off.

I seriously don't get the audacity of that dumb girl. She didn't even bother dressing up...just wore a T-mobile shirt and black pants. Way to respect the situation.

I am so embarassed that my child has 4 half sisters out there and they all have different mothers. I hope, hope, hope that they are all as much of a pain in the ass as DH's ex-wife. Maybe I should introduce the two of them. I always said I wouldn't wish BM on my worst enemy.

I take it back.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

littlegrlzx4's picture

its not fair for you or or son. Hugs.

Colorado Girl's picture

I appreciate all the hugs I can get. I feel like a lost puppy today...

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Sasha's picture

And you get to pay the lawyer more money too, huh?

Family court is a money maker for the lawyers. That's why they keep dragging the sh** out for as long as they can. The longer you are in mediation, the more times you go back to court, all means more $$$ for the lawyers.

Doesn't anyone in the court system have common sense anymore? It's sickening. You have my sympathy.

Most Evil's picture

I am so sorry you are upset CG! It doesn't seem right that you have always been there and are disregarded by the judge, and BD doesn't actually show up, yet wins all!

I don't know what the best answer is, but I hope it works out to something you all can live with.

Are you saying BD has 5 children with 5 different mothers? What in the world is he thinking?

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

bellacita's picture

some dads have to fight so hard to get anything and others who dont deserve it nor want it get the world in court...its just so unfair.

keep your chin up...u will win in the end, im sure...hugs chica

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

I'm so sorry Colorado Girl that you and your son have to go through this painful process. The system is F#@KED (sorry for the language, it just gets me angry to hear this). Dads like my BF who have been there from the start with there children get no rights even if the BM runs off to another state with the kids and BF can't do anything about it, but then you get cases like this where after so many years Biodad wants to come back in his sons life and start playing happy families and the courts side with them. It's so unfair, are the courts even thinking about the children or just taking the easy way out :?. How is your son coping with biodad all of a sudden showing his face?

**Big hugs for you and your son**

Karma_'s picture

Its so unfair given the years of committment you have put in to your sons care. To be treated with no respect or recognition bites the big one.

As for his BD's mother - she must have been burning up with jealousy!

No matter what happens there is only one person who your son will remember as having been there for him through everything, and thats you.

}:) Being my husbands third wife does not make me third rate. It makes him a slow learner }:)