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Update to my "Angry" post

CLove's picture

So - firstly:

Thanks to all for your comments and support. It really helped me to be able to have clarity.

Secondly - for whatever reason, and I think I know what it is, but for whatever reason DH has been falling over himself to please me.

Thirdly, SD13 has also been falling over herself to please me.

Im like "aha all it takes is for cLove to get absolutely p!ssed off, go silent but deadly with this anger, and everyone will FINALLY give her the appreciation and consideration that she has been needing all this time!"

DH told me yesterday after work that Munchkin was beside herself and "practically in tears" because for some odd reason cLove was upset with her...and she didnt know why. Dh told her "well thats between you and her and you need to talk to her."

Which she never did, but she DID hug me as she was getting ready to take her things to the new place, and she DID send me a REALLY nice message this morning telling me about times for her concert and that she hopes I have a really wonderful day.

How to bring up discussion? She is now "doing her time" with Toxic Troll BM and Feral Forger SD20, in the new apartment (hmmmm Ive read that falsifying income is grounds for eviction....said in the voice of the Grinch...)

I figured out the root of my frustration and anger. It started with my frustration of her being lazy and never helping me out, when I give and help and buy and do for her. Then it moved into me getting attached and "poof! times up" and she toddles off to momma. Finally it grew into anger and frustration that I cannot talk about and express my anger and frustration, because it leads to me being treated like I am this mean, horrible step-monster and poor little snowflake will cry her big tears, and then daddeeee will get angry with me because I hurt preshus snowflake, and momeeee will send her nasty ho-bag trashy texts full of hate and tell dadeee that he will LOSE Munchkin just like he LOST feral forger. All because of mean horrible abusive cLove.

I get MAD just thinking about the past dynamics reaching its ugly arm into my present and future..


ESMOD's picture

I think it might be helpful if you work on being an advocate for yourself and your own needs, wants and frustrations before you reach the tipping point of your anger.  If you need for Munchkin to be a bit more self entertaining because you have a lot on your plate.. tell her before she has a chance to bug you ever 10 minutes. You can do it nicely. 

Hey, Munchkin,  I have a billion things going on this week and really need to concentrate.  Can you try to make a point of only interrupting me if you have a serious need or it's an emergency.  You know I love you but I just need to have some peace and quiet time to get things done this week.

Siemprematahari's picture

CLove you have a kind heart and trust me people will take advantage of it, if given he opportunity. Please know your greatest and don't allow yourself to get so consumed by other people and their problems that you lose yourself in the process. You have to value yourself in order for others to do so, and if they don't well you already know where you stand. 

Live this life for you CLove. Do the things you love and enjoy that make your soul happy. Heck if you don't take care of you, who the heck is?

Much love to you!