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May the Fourth be with you (the Pouty chronicles)

CLove's picture

So this is one of those almost-comical too common stories. Disney Dadee giving in to pouty kiddo, and telling SM that "they are the adult, but they are acting like a child, they are the problem" kind of story.

The Fourth, we are not supposed to have Munchkin SD13, its Bm's time/holiday. Munchkin, however has other plans. We wanted to sort of keep things mellow, do our own thing, but she is insisting her mother never does anything can she please come with us...

Which is fine.

Except, its becoming not so fine. I wanted to go to a local parade, get there early, see my tribe, listen to music. DH wants to go fishing in the morning. Then we both tool around during the day (shopping?) and we meet up later for fireworks. Im good with that

Except, now SIL Auntie #1 calls Munchkin SD13 and asks her if she is going to large DH family gathering at Auntie  #2's house. No calls or texts to DH at this point, and of course Im excluded from this communication. Munchkin REALLY wants to go, see her family (totally understandable, except we DO NOT want to go to this, and we DO NOT want to have Toxic Troll take her without us ).

So, here is where she starts asking me to "practice curling" her very short hair, and planning to go to family gathering. I say "well, we arent really planning on going, we are keeping it open, and just going with flow. If you are ok with that, then great, come with us. Negotiate with your mother."

Pouty mac pouterson appears suddenly. Munchkin is not happy. And we can see that, and I call her out on it telling her that if she is not going to be ok with it, sorry, but DH is going fishing, I am going to morning parade, and after that it is open.

Background: Pouty Mac Pouterson has been appearing more and more lately when we go out and she doesnt get to do what she wants or get the "thing" that she wants (like $50 pendant!!! FFS. Or where we go out to eat, or can she bring a friend to outing, hears no...).

So she pouts, I mention it, she tries to say "well thats my straight face", and I say "no, its "THAT face" then she tries another tactic (shes too smart!) and tells me "would you rather me have  a fake smile?" and I respond with "no - not at all - be real - we are just wanting to keep it open and go with the flow!"

Munchkin huffs off - as much as she can huff, its really not her style plus she REALLY doesnt want to stay at BM's apartment and ANYTHING is more fun than that, so she can see that its a losing proposition.

She cleans her room, and starts chatting with me happily, about this and that a few moments later. Maybe I won this one, but I think she just doubled down hoping to get Ive got to up my game. I do love that kid!

DH, this morning was telling me that "you, Clove pout like she does, you compete with a CHILD". Im like "um no, you elevate child above your wife." Such a friendly oonversation. Looks like a "see the light moment" is in order. Or not. Just going with the fllow, like the force...


Aniki's picture

CLove, I read that last paragraph... IMO, YOU should do what YOU want tomorrow. Let Disney Dad deal with Pouty McPouterson.

CLove's picture

I put seeds in the brain, hoping sprouts will come up, but its tough when head is in sand.

Yes - it my day off, I am going to do what sounds good. Plus - I spent all weekend last with munchkin, picking berries, baking pies, talking, walking, lunching...while he fished. My turn!!!! Dont get me wrong - she is delightful company, but is becoming moody teen and an energy suck when she doesnt get what she wants...typical right?

Except in Steplife, its all a struggle.

Aniki's picture

Well then. Tomorrow is the perfect opportunity for some Father/Daughter bonding. If Pouty pouts enough, maybe Disney will take her to that family gathering.

CLove's picture

And dadee doesnt want to go there.

Actually this works out perfectly for me - he goes fishing, I do my thing and PMP learns a lesson!!!!!

I doubt dadee will cave, on this one. Fishing is too important!

Aniki's picture

Daddee can either suck it up and spend time with Pouty or live with Toxic taking Pouty to HIS family shindig.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Go out without them. Your DuH treats you like garbage. No wonder he already has one divorce under his belt.

CLove's picture

she knows the timeline, knows its up to her to get pickup organized, because Toxic Troll doesnt text me, and knows that I am a fast-moving free spirit that has places to go...!

She can toe the line and come along for the ride...or not. At this point, DH doesnt have a leg to stand on - I pay more attention to her than either parents.

Meh hes harmless. Just has his head in the sand.

pickles45's picture

Uggh you have way more patience then me. I was ironcially sitting here worried that tomorrow SO's daughter will pull something and want to spend the day with us. (She sleeps over tonight). I do NOT want to spend the day with her! I want to have a day with just SO and I doing whatever we feel like. 

Im hoping SO goes and works a bit inthe am which means BM has to come pick her up and that will be that. If he doesnt go to work for a bit I foresee her sleeping in until whenver she feels like, him wantingher to hang here for a bit and then FINALLY takingher inthe afternoon. If that happens I am going to start drinking at noon!!!!


CLove's picture

Here its almost Holiday time!

Harry's picture

i would plan on doing my thing in the AM.  When I get home, find out the PM plans. And decided what I am going to do then.   I would not spend days think about it,   

CLove's picture

Yep! not letting kiddo dictate my holiday for

Might have to go shopping - its my birthday saturday.


secret's picture

See I would have no issues saying...

"Listen...You're supposed to be with your mom on that day. We already let you come in on our plans, and you're not happy with our plans... tell you what. You can either come with us on a day you're not supposed to be here, and follow us and our plans, or you can stay with your mom like you're supposed to. Either way, we're not changing our can either taken them or leave them...but we don't have to take you at all so you should be grateful for us even letting you come with us to begin with."

I have said similar things to my kids. In the end, they are grateful to be included when they're not required to be.

I've also told dh that this is our time, and that I'm not going to accept having our plans taken over by a bratty child. Go with it, or piss off.

CLove's picture

And then Disneydad has to do more hoop jumping and Toxic Troll bashes us some more. Add a smattering of abuse allegations!

LOL. Kidding.

Yes. I ALMOST said that too. But Im not going there if I dont have to. As it stands, I havent heard anything more about Pouty going with us, and DH is fishing.

Petronella's picture

I would do exactly this. Teens may choose to bounce back and forth between moms house and dad’s house. Doesn’t mean we have to put our lives on hold.

Petronella's picture

I would do exactly this. Teens may choose to bounce back and forth between moms house and dad’s house. Doesn’t mean we have to put our lives on hold.

Gimlet's picture

You're a good person, CLove.  Munchkin is lucky to have you.

My own bio kid is lucky I didn't throw her in a lake during the teen years.  Teens are the worst.

Either way, you are entitled to your own life and plans.