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Is it Fair?

CLove's picture

So as an update to Baby steps part 2.

She decided not to bring up Saturday School. Its an optional program whereby if you have absences, one half day at the school (doing homework or missed assignments) on a Saturday will make up one day of absence.

SD 16 Snotty Mcpoutersulk (thank you!) has 8 just in September. Supposedly because shes "sore" from the move and was allowed to stay home. Anyway not my circus to manage. Except this "soreness" is leading Toxic Troll the Disease Chaser, to want her to go to Dr for multiple tests including lupus imaginaria.

Ok. Well so whats up for Saturday? Well, last night SD16 SMPS asks if she can get dropped off. Apparently her friends all want to go to local Rennaissance Fair. I have not been able to go because short on money and all that real stuff intruding. So she asked if she can do chores to have money for the fair today. And be dropped off at her friends house.

He is going fishing.

I sat there by his side, and just looked at my phone, silently. Remembering that I had offered to drop her off for the Saturday school and she had brushed me off.

She pouted when he told her that he would not be available to do a drop off, and that our house was actually on the way to the location.

EGADS. Well I am almost done with my morning coffee and SD16 Snotty McPouterSulk is in her room. Shes been acknowledging me in a friendly way so we are on superficially good terms. Thanks everyone for the reinforcement of disengagement. It truly helped, and its an ongoing journey...


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Rennaissance Fair. I have not been able to go because short on money and all that...

Find a good book, pour a glass of wine (or Bailey's or...) and enjoy a leisurely soak in the tub. Maybe one of Snotty McPoutersulk's friend's mommy or daddy can drive Snotty and friend to the RenFest. She can offer to was friend's dishes or something for the entrance fee. *dirol*

CLove's picture

hung with a friend and took myself to a nice solo dinner. Then at home watched a movie and had a cordial of Jameson Biggrin

Snotty McPoutersulk was in her room the entire time I believe. She popped out once when dad came home at 8.

I hope things improve and this is just "the teen years". At least shes not screaming and in my face or demanding like her sister. Where is her sister? We do not know!

CLove's picture

She is on her own. I really need to stop offering anything, even a drop off.

Livingoutloud's picture

Good. She has a father. Her father is mostly disengaged. If he's not an engaged parent, then there's nothing you can do. You can't be more engaged than her parents. Live your life. Sounds like you are doing better. 

MissK03's picture

100%!! BM used to tell the kids no they couldn't do this or that on her weekends because she didn't want to drive the 3/4 miles to their friends house, or football games, fair.. etc. 

Funny how I helped her on her weekends though with the boys when they played football... 

She NEVER helped on her off weekends.. she wouldn't come support her kids on her off weekends... 

I learned that lesson.. 

Clove good job being disengaged! If her parents priorities come first... it's not your place to pick up the slack. 

CLove's picture

shopping, live music, art shows, salon visits...

Now, NADA. No more Snotty McPouterSulk. She laughs and talks and giggles on the phone to her friends, so her friends can do for her.

Rags's picture

From your DH being such a failed parent and the products of that failed parenting. Plus... the baggage he chose to spawn with.

The trifecta of failed family baggage.  TT, FF, SMPS.  Hopefully your DH will be past it all when SMPS ages out from under the CO in less than 2yrs and you and DH can get on with your life together with the harpy squad long gone.

CLove's picture

Toxic Troll has been my biggest source of resentment thus far, because of the visitation schedule and how she has tried to manipulate and paint me as the "abuser" when she was the person who slapped, choked and body slammed her own child...more than once.

Egads. I was describing her to a friend in catching up. And even to my own experienced ears it sounded horrible.

caninelover's picture

That is karma introducing herself to B/M.

If you are mean to people, they won't help you.  Odd that it takes teens so long to get that nowadays.

Great job staying disengaged.  None of it is your circus, nor your monkey.




Birchclimber's picture

CLove, you have my respect, and some of my envy!  I am jealous of your spine.  I'm trying to grow mine back again so that I can butt out of the dramas when I need to.  Good job.