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Hold everything SD13 is BORED

CLove's picture

So, she has done this since she was 11-12. She will come up to me, interrupt what I am doing and detail just WHY she is bored, and asks me to do something with her.

I REALLY hate this! EVERY TIME it makes me want to scream and I am considered a REALLY patient person. Is this NORMAL teen things?

She has a ton of things she can do with her time to self-entertain:

  - Play with baby bearded dragon.

  - Play with one of two rabbits

  - Draw on $1,400 tablet her mother bought her

  - Play on the $200 nintendo switch her mother bought her - there are two games. Trade them in for a new one!!!!!

  - play with friendly large dog

  - watch netflix or disney ona  VERY large screen with excellent graphics.

I dont really know what to do with this frustration. She has a LOT she can do, just not a lot of chores.

Do I say something like, "hey it really bothers me when you tell me that, its not my job to provide you with constant entertainment" or just keep my mouth shut and do a silent scream in my head? She has been with us full time since the beginning of the month, so this is a taste of fully custody and shes driving me kind of nuts, with her complaining of being bored. Its making me want to go to the gym to get away from her.

Help!

Comments

tog redux's picture

As someone else said in another thread - put her to work. Every time she says she's bored, give her a chore to do. She'll stop. 

CLove's picture

We wtched a new netflix series, a little on the adult side, that her friends like. So, I try to see it as she wants me to spend time with her...but "Jane the Virgin" is really not my thing.

thinkthrice's picture

-sweep/vacuum

-scrub floors (including with toothbrush to get into the corners)

-clean toilets

-dusting

-clean all pet areas/feed and water

-clean the inside of the vehicle(s)

OH the opportunities!!!

CLove's picture

helping cook dinner has a whole host of benefits.

thinkthrice's picture

wash/rinse,  chop/dice/mince  teach her kitchen safety  (lurve me some Alton Brown)

laundry,  wash, dry, fold.  teach her to iron

advice.only2's picture

It's a teen thing, my BD13 has tons of stuff to do but she gets bored, that's when I tell her all the chores I have lined up for her and suddenly she's not bored and her friends are calling, lol.

CLove's picture

I tried that a few times, and she said that "she isnt that bored hahaha".

thinkthrice's picture

with the chore suggestions.  Eventually she'll  get the message.

Aniki's picture

Is she habitually bored when she has to entertain herself? 

I completely agree that she needs chores. UNDESIRABLE chores.

Also, when she interrupts, are you doing something that needs a pause point? Stop her in her tracks, tell her you're in the middle of something, and you'll find her when you have a minute. IOW, she needs to GO AWAY.

CLove's picture

Easily bored when having to self-entertain. She is more of a people-person. Many times I put off, saying let me finish what IM doing, but it gets very annoying...and frustrating. I need to change my name I think...

Aniki's picture

I figured that was the case. 

There are those who will find this solution old school and unpopular, but... 
Tell her she needs to entertain herself for X amount of time, say 2 hours. If she bothers you so much as 1 minute before that time is up? She loses privileges. This is what my parents did and it was quickly effective.

ESMOD's picture

I'm bored in teenspeak means.. I want attention.. I want you to take me somewhere and spend money.. I want you to entertain me...I want you to transport me to a friend's house.

I will backup the chores solution.  My parents didn't always pull those out when we came to them with the bored comments.. but you can believe when they did we all of a sudden figured out other things we could do.

BethAnne's picture

I say this to my step daughter "good, kids need to be bored." If she persists in complaining I tell her that I can find some chores for her to do or she can stop bothering me. 

CLove's picture

"Good! I have some dusting and you can help with laundry after and then we can see about your cleaning the bathtub that only you use.

ndc's picture

Can you take her to the gym with you? Kill two birds with one stone. Maybe your DH would like to spring for her gym membership if she doesn't already have one.  Although I'm guessing she'd decline if you offered to take her.

ITB2012's picture

At around 13 they were easily BOooarrrreeeeddddd (include a long nasally sound with the Os). I think they get to an age where they are too young to play but not old enough to "hang out" with friends. So they go looking for something to do.

I like the chore idea. Are you close enough to places that you can send her on errands? She'd get out to talk to people.

And have her start babysitting! She'd get to play with the kids 'cause she's supposed to, she'd get paid, and she'd be out of the house. Even if you have to do some of the driving. Red Cross does a one-day training.

CLove's picture

yeah - I should farm her out to babysit the cousins!

Then she can earn money to buy more expensive nintendo switch games at 40-60 bucks each.

LOL. There goes the boredome!!!

24 years as a SM's picture

When the kids were young or even when I was a kid, we never used the word "Bored". If I heard one of the kids saying they are bored, they were handed a can of Ajax and a old toothbrush, then pointed to the bathroom tile grout. If they said they were not that bored, it was tough beans, get in there and clean. I would go check on them after a half hour and ask them if they are still bored. If they answer was still yes, then I would tell them to keep cleaning. If the answer was no, I would tell them that they had done enough for the day, but if they start feeling bored again, they know where the Ajax and old Toothbrush is located. They learned very quickly not to say I am BORED.

I was a dumbass and kept telling my mom that I was still bored, ended up cleaning the whole darn bathroom, before I finally figured it out.

Siemprematahari's picture

Whenever I said I was bored I was asked to go read a book, each and every time. Trust me she'll stop and find something else to entertain herself with.

As suggested above, doing chores isn't a bad idea either.