What age should kids be able to entertain themselves
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I spend most of my day either playing with my kids SD4 and DD1 or cleaning the house. When I put my 1 year old down for a nap I ask my SD to play in her room while she sleeps so she doesn’t disturb my daughters nap time. Every day though she will for the entire hour and half come out and complain and cry and whine about being bored or hating our house. Instead of attempting to play by herself or find something to do she will sit on her floor pouting or cry to me. It seems ridiculous to me that an almost 5 year old can’t entertain herself for an hour and a half out of the day while my 1 year old can and will play with her toys content and not even notice if I’m not playing with her. Am I expecting too much from her?
Give her chores during that hour
Either she will help and love it or she'll hate it and that hour and a half in her room will seem like a good idea to her.
I don't know if he was weird or this was normal but DS could entertain himself for short periods of time starting when he was about one. He didn't need us to constantly be in his face. When he was young he sometimes got upset that we invaded his alone time. He had a regular, predictable rhythm of interactive and alone times.
Tell her you are playing the
Tell her you are playing the quiet game and she needs to be super quiet to win the prize. Usually they fall asleep. At least that's how it worked with my bios. Good luck.
She is 4
Chores is absurd. Why is she not in camp or preschool?
SO's little one started doing
SO's little one started doing small chores when he was 4. Once kids start walking they can start doing chores such as matching socks or picking up toys. SO's was helping with dishes and is capable of doing more.
Why are chores for a 4 year
Why are chores for a 4 year old absurd?
Not everyone can afford camps and preschools generally are not year round, it is summer time.
I don't think of "chores" as
I don't think of "chores" as a bad thing.. it is teaching your children life lessons.
My 2.5 year old does the following: picks up his toys, helps put his clothes in the washer/dryer/away, puts dirty dishes in the dishwasher, helps unload the dishwasher, rinses tub after bath, feeds our dog.
He thinks he is helping momma and it gives him a great sense of accomplishment. There is NOTHING wrong with "chores".
I am guessing that the 2.5 does chores with MOM
Not SM telling kid to go away and be quiet. If the 1 YO is napping, why can't SM play with 4 YO. If SM does not want to, tell dad. Of course, he may tell SM get a job and we will put both kids in daycare
Ok wow. I don’t tell my SD to
Ok wow. I don’t tell my SD to just go away first of all. It’s me having her go play quietly as to not wake up her sister. Second of all I should and am going to take the little bit of time that I actually get to myself through out the day. Asking her to stay and play in her room for a small almond of time is not a huge problem. And lastly if I’m the one raising her, and am in her eyes her mom I don’t see a problem with teaching her to do little chores.
For a 4 YO
1.5 hours is not a small time. I get you do not like this kid. And I think she likely gets it too. Dad should try to find a camp for her
Honestly, do you EVER have
Honestly, do you EVER have anything positive to say to anyone?
That is a good question Tog!!
That is a good question Tog!!!!
Some people on here make some
Some people on here make some assumptions that just because you are venting you hate a child. LOL, that is ABSURD! Just like saying a 4yo can't do chores is ABSURD! My 4 yo loves to do chores with me but he is also able to self entertain. He self entertains better than my 12yo SD. Maybe because he isn't coddled and treated like a victim of a mixed home. I'm so sure your SO would rather pay a ton of money for camp or daycare than expect his little snowflake to do chores! LOL! Good grief!
It’s actually good for kids
It’s actually good for kids to learn to play by themselves, I believe she would be doing her SD a disservice by constantly playing with and entertaining her.
I am a stay at home mom with my son, in no way would that ever equate to me being a stay at home mom for my skids.
edited to add: my three year old has a few chores that he can and does complete WITHOUT mom. And if I’m trying to have a break or clean I tell him he can join me or play nicely in his playroom .... or is it only bad when a stepmom tells a child to go play alone for awhile.
Actually, he does put the
Actually, he does put the clothes in the washer by himself, and goes in is room (gasp) all by himself. Ditto for putting dishes in the dishwasher.
The difference, imo, between a 2.5 and 4yr old is pretty vast. If my son can do those things, surely a 4yr old could do SOMETHING. Obviously SM wouldn't not check in on her. But, look at books, play toys, pick up room.... os that so terrible?
She's still young enough that
She's still young enough that a nap at the same time might be the best thing.
That being said she is young enough she might still need guidance. The little one here has an older sister to keep him amused and he mostly follows what she does. When I have had him alone we had to guide him towards activities. GWhen she comes to you crying pull out a coloring book and crayons tell her to color you a picture.
Sometimes that doesn't work
My DS stopped taking naps at two. But he was really good a quiet time to just draw or play with quiet toys (that only came out for quiet time).
I’ve tried many times with
I’ve tried many times with coloring and naps but with the coloring she spends 5 minutes doing it then it’s back to being bored and crying. She also has a tv in her room where I usually put on a movie for her when I make her go play in her room. Naps are just a huge uphill battle with her I’ve successfully gotten her to nap maybe twice.
Maybe try setting up a strew
Maybe try setting up a strew or small world.
My three and half year old will play by himself but not on command. He will go off and play well on his own but at times where I want or need him to play alone I set up a small world or a strew. You could also try playing with her for like 5 minutes to help her into it.
My 3 year old rarely takes
My 3 year old rarely takes naps anymore, but I still do "rest time." I can't make her sleep, but she has to calm down and find something quiet to do. She would never want to go play in her room by herself but she will usually sit on the couch and relax with me and watch a movie or something. She's in daycare during the week though so this is only a thing on weekends. Does the 4 year old go to daycare or preschool?
This is a girl thing. My dd
This is a girl thing. My dd would NEVER play by herself/entertain herself for any amount of time when she was younger and it used to drive me mad lol. A few of my friends had boys, who would happily play by themselves. Over the years from speaking to friends with kids it's definitely clear that boys will play by themselves but girls won't. Even reading these comments I notice it's all boys that people are saying they have that play by themselves.
I'm fairly cetlrtain this is where the saying "girls are harder when they're younger but once they get older boys are harder" comes from.
Not that this makes it easier for you, I said that my dd drove me mad that she couldn't entertain herself and she's my own child....having to entertain someone else's child all day is another matter entirely. No freakin way.
This situation is not fair on you. Why is it your responsibility to keep your sd entertained all day? Why aren't her parents doing it?
I don't think it's a girls
I don't think it's a girls thing. I was never this way
I do, just from my
I do, just from my experiences and from friends kids but obviously there's exceptions I'm not saying every single little girl in the world is like this haha. Just that boys tend to be able to entertain themselves more overall.
Entertained or not kids
Entertained or not kids should be held accountable for not interfering with others for age appropriate periods of time. For a 5yo that should be for a few hours.. IMHO.
My Skid was great at self entertaining from the time he was 15mos old and beyond. He could play by himself quietly and was pretty much a joy to be around and live with as a younger child. At least when we weren't dealing with the pre visitation behavioral degredation and post visitation behavioral detox periods.
He would play quietly by himself for hours at a time. He would do what we used to call "Role Call". Every once in a while he would call out "Mommy! Daddy!" and we would reply "Here!". He wouldes go back to playing quietly or ... not so quietly as the case may have been. While he was at the age he was toilet training but still needed help with it he would ask one or the other of us "Mommy/Daddy, potty please." If he was thristy he would ask "Mommy/Daddy Milt (milk) please."
Our biggest challenge with SS were the sullen teen years. Those years tested our patience with him and put him dangerously close to parental strangulation by one or the other of us fairly regularly. Fortunteately for him one or the other of us was willing to give him a few more hours of life when the other of us was ready to strangle him. So... he survived to adulthood relatively unscathed and we survived to be empty nesters also relatively unscathed.
He was a pleasure to raise and he is a pleasure to parent as an adult. He is one of my favorite people. But I suppose he should be. His mom and I raised him together.
get her an ipad. problem
get her an ipad. problem solved!
I definitely think she is old
I definitely think she is old enough to entertain herself.
I have the same problem with SD and she is almost 7. Cannot for the life of her play alone or do anything alone.
It's frustrating.
I was never this way. I LOVED being alone. Still do. Yes my mom played with me and did stuff but I also played alone with Barbies etc.
Idk what it is with kids these days.