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Child suppport as pocket money for Hawaiian Vac

CLove's picture

You read that right.

Valentines weekend was pleasant outings and manual labor (homeownership is wonderful eh?) punctuated by requests from BM Toxic Troll for her child support money ahead of his payment schedule "so she has money for Hawaii".

Yup. Toxic Troll is going on a 12-day vacation (from what JOB?), leaving SD13 Munchkin with us (of course), so she took our 3-day weekend (Id had plans for us as a family) in "trade for time". Probably so it doesnt look bad that shes taking off on a vacation (that word again!) without kiddo, and wants child support to help fund it.

Yes, Dh sent me screen caps. Because documentaion. This after DH spent over 100$ on new shoes for kiddo and new bras, etc.

Now I get that we have no say over how Child Support is spent, but I dont think it should be spent on personal vacations!

Luckily DH is on board with me and said "no I dont have it until next week".

Grrr. Inner wolf growling right now. Why is it that SHE gets to go on vacation, us nothing. How is it fair that she is still working on a 50k settlement (I guess still getting payments from workmans comp or we dont know what anymore...)

Then Monday - one of our few holidays, she now wants the child support for rent - just 50$ of the 347. Because shes $50 short on rent and its "unexpected".

She probably woke up and realized she had a better chance of leeching money for rent because its "for the chiiiiillllld" vs its for "Hawaian vacation".

DH has NEVER ever gone on a vacation, anywhere.

Comments

hereiam's picture

So, is he going to give her the $50.00?

I hope not because it doesn't really matter why she wants it, she can learn to budget her money and she will get the CS when it's due.

Unexpected? Really?

CLove's picture

to BOTH requests.

Very proud of DH. He is learning not to act out of fear of TT.

tog redux's picture

Well - to be fair, TT lives in squalor and $347 won't even pay for the plane fare one way to Hawaii. 

She gets to go on vacation because she doesn't care about her child, how she lives, debt, or anything else - and you do. 

CLove's picture

A bit of Shakespear to lighten my mood.

Yes, Im living a better life through work and sacrifice, which doesnt look as fun and sexy as vacay to the islands...

But still...!

tog redux's picture

Well - put aside money for a vacation!  A little bit at a time, and make a plan for a year away. And remember, someday that money will stop for TT and then it will be yours and DH's to spend. 

CLove's picture

and SD with a vacation somewhere, but need a concrete plan...and oh! kitchen remodel!

advice.only2's picture

Sadly CS usually is never used for the child, we used to have to pay Meth Mouth and it went straight into her arm, lovely right? I think your DH should ignore and even if she's 50 short on rent, then I guess that's another hour BM needs to be out on the street until it's covered.

CLove's picture

This man lives in fear of what she "could" do. She "could" rake him over the coals, and try to get full time, she "could" go to court again...his fears rule him wrt to her.

But, with my educating myself, I pretty much am secure that she cannot get super high child support.

But this BM - just when you think shes gone as low as anyone can, she beats that low.

I have to keep in mind hes been abused by her a REALLY long time.

tog redux's picture

CS is set by calculator in most states, women can't just go in and demand more and get it. It seems to be the most "fair" (not the amount, the process) thing about Family Court.  You pay what you owe based on this formula.  She can't go demand 1K a month just cuz. 

 

2nd wives club's picture

She gets $347 a month for CS, lives on disability and she's going on a 12 day vacation to HI? How does that happen? Is she dating a sugar daddy? because just the airline fare to HI is typically thousands $$.

 

2nd wives club's picture

Right...everything in HI is very expensive because they have to import everything in pretty much. Bet the Motel 6 is $400 a night there.

CLove's picture

She LIES so much its impossible to discern WHAT her income source actually is. Is it a payout from her teachers retirement? Workmans comp payouts? We had thought she had received a payout previously and now she is telling Munchkin she working with a lawyer to get a big 50k payout.

I had calculated about 10k for a REALLY great vacation...

I dont know what the heck is going on with that sugar daddy stuff because she mentions "maybe borrow from my friend while there..."

TimeToGo's picture

$300 roundtrip on Southwest from the airport here... Not bad. That's because of our location though. Lots of people go back & forth to Hawaii nonstop. I know a woman who goes for a week every 2 months...

hereiam's picture

This is why I was so glad that DH's CS went through the state. He paid them, they paid her. She called once to bitch that it was late and he told her to take it up with the state (he always paid them on time, early, actually). It took away any need for communication about CS and her ability to ask for favors regarding CS.

 

tog redux's picture

BM here would never dare ask. Of course she makes 100K a year herself, so I'm thinking even she would find groveling for money from DH distasteful. 

CLove's picture

For income withholding. No income withholding order ever arrived at his work. Im almost to point to reccoment income withholding from each paycheck. I do that for employees here at my job.

Sparkl3s's picture

The state my hubs cs is allows him to send the money in to them and they send it to BM. It is not taken from his paycheck, it eliminates unnecessary contact with BM. 

hereiam's picture

I wouldn't want the withholding, it always seems to get screwed up and your DH would have NO control.

tog redux's picture

DH did it for years, it was great, we just pretended it didn't exist.  It worked fine with no issues until BM got an increase and the court gave a pay direct order.  So she had to get it stopped from withholding, and then things went a bit haywire - they kept taking it out for a while, and BM was demanding it directly (buzz off, he'll pay directly when they stop withholding it), but then it settled down.

Now I remind him to send it on time so she won't get it withheld again, so he doesn't have to go back to court in 11 months to stop it  FOR GOOD.

ESMOD's picture

My DH''s ex was classic always trying to get CS ahead of time.  Once she just begged and begged.. had to pay a fee for an extracurricular that YSD wanted to do... my DH told his EX he did NOT want her doing this other extra... it was cheer and it was for one of those "competition" cheer squads which was basically pay to show your kid offf because they always were some "champion" at all the meets (shows).. and I would always find out they were literally the only team in their class lol.  She was also on her school team.. my dh just wanted her to do ONE.. so told BM if she wanted to do it.. she could pay for it.

So.. anyway.. BM begged a couple hundred early.. and then when it was time to deposit her CS.. she squawked at me when I reminded her I would deposit 200 less due to her advance.. she was all .. "it better be the full amount.. that cheapass better pay towards her passion". 

that was the last time he would ever allow her to get a nickel early.. she got him once.. but that was it.

Felicity0224's picture

Omg. Forget about how she's paying for it because that's a mystery that will probably never be solved. But seriously, how could she even enjoy a vacation if $50 means the difference between her paying rent or not? What an absolutely miserable way to live. 

CLove's picture

I think its a big hoax. She lies so much its hard to discern what the heck is the truth of things.

She was in walmart shopping after her text asking for 50$ towards rent.

Thumper's picture

Just say no to the rent money.

You know CLOVE she wants to look nice for her big trip---walmart shopping will do it Wink

Thumper's picture

Is it her tax return money?

Hawaii is not cheap. Is she flying from West coast, or East Coast. '

"HEY BM you better tell me the hotel, hotel address and telephone number of where you are" What if there is an emergencyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Hey BM the kids will call you every day YOU BETTER answer your cell bm or it will look bad in court.

hehehehehe

 

hereiam's picture

This man lives in fear of what she "could" do.

In reality, there is very little that she could do. Child support is what it is, based on his income. Custody is already established and there is no reason for a judge to change it. These women like to hold court, child support, and custody over their ex's heads but it is just a game.

Your husband needs to educate himself and stop living in fear. He will feel a great relief when he unburdens himself of this. It will help him, and it will help your marriage.

BM over here is very litigious but the reality was that she had no real reason to actually take DH to court and, in fact, after the divorce, the one time they went to court, HE took HER for contempt (and won). The one time she tried to have CS modified to get more, it was denied.

Your DH needs to stop letting BM in his head. He has a life with you, now.

Thumper's picture

Hey CLOVE, has Aloha Jane forwarded dh her Itinerary yet?

You know it is only for the chillll-dreeeennnnnn sake.

Cant wait to see where she is staying.

thinkthrice's picture

seems to have a healthy fantasy world!  What an imagination!  Personally I wouldn't go anywhere due to Corona