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raising kids on the internet

Chmmy's picture

Thank goodness I raised my kids before all this smart phone, instagram, snapchat garbage.  We cant even keep up with what the skids are doing.  Yes I know we could block shit from the wifi but wittle ss12 wants to snapchat with his little friends so dh keeps turning it back on. I came across SS12s snapchat account and he has an inappropriat screen name.  SS12 has been inappropriate on the internet for years. I shut down wifi to all devices that ss12 has access to.  Lets see how long this lasts.  I wlll not live in a home that is tainted by a sex offender.  If ss12 ever has to register as a sex offender he will have to live with his mother.  Due to being on the spectrum, he is impulsive and makes poor decisions.  I take that quote directly from the dean who called dh and left a message when ss12 got in school suspention for cheating. I dont blame the spectrum for his poor behavior but it doesnt help.  Poor parenting is mostly to blame.  BM is so far up her husband's ass and DH is up mine.  Feeling sorry for the skids.  Neither of their parents know what to do or how to actually love their kids.  I feel that DH has an emotional attachment to his kids but doesn't love them enough to care about their well being.


SteppedOut's picture

"I feel that DH has an emotional attachment to his kids but doesn't love them enough to care about their well being."

Yes! I think this is kind-of how my formerSO is with his kids... there was something (emotional attachment or maybe the "love" he was capable of), but he didn't/couldn't DO anything to make them better people or teach them how to do anything. The only thing he really does is throw money at them to keep them entertained/quiet. Also, he ensures he "cleans up" anything that would potentially cause (him) embarassment. 

Chmmy's picture

I know that DH is ashamed of and/or disappointed in his kids but would never admit it.  He's made comments about their abilities in sports.  None of them is athletic and him and his brothers were scholarship athletes. He is definitely disappointed if not embarrassed or ashamed.  Not just the sports thing but theyre not likable or special in any way and I think that's why he treats them like they are extra special or more deserving than others.  All it did was make them entitled brats.

Simpleton21's picture

Sounds like my DH.  BM has signed SD up for every sport under the sun and makes sure she is always doing something.  To bad she isn't great at any of the sports/activities she puts her in.  She is also treated like she is extra special and more deserving than others which is definitely the reason she is an unlikeable entitled brat.  Even my 5 yo doesn't like playing with her anymore...she is 12!!!!  

ESMOD's picture

why oh why do parents not monitor their kid's online presence?  That screen name?  would be changed.. if I were your husband.

I used to check on the SD's stuff.. (DH not so techy) and when a picture was too risque` or they posted something offensive or out of line.. they had to take it down.

Kids aren't born knowing how to manage social media.  

I remember my YSD got a facebook account when she was maybe 12 or 13.. I can't remember exactly.

Well, I notice her friend list getting longer and longer.. and there were legit ADULT men with neck tattoos starting to show up on her friend list.  

I talked to her about it and it turns out she and a friend were having a contest to see who could get the most friends.. and apparently because they both had older sisters.. and the older sisters had friends who were in turn older or had older siblings.. they were friending all sorts of 'ill advised" people.

Now my SD was a complete squirt at that age.. there is zero way an adult would get a friend request from this "child" and think it was ok.. but the guys were accepting.  I shut it down.. and we went through her entire list together.. and we vetted every single person on her list.. or they were unfriended.

Her intent wasn't "bad" but they definitely were opening themselves up to a dangerous situation.


SteppedOut's picture


My older son got a facebook when he was 14. The caveat was I had the password and I monitored it. He was/is a good kid, but I had to bust his chops about a few things. 

My formerSO - his kids had free access to internet, well, from the moment they could use it - latest greatest iphone included! Yet he thought his 13 year old still believed in Santa and Elf on the Shelf. *dash1*

Simpleton21's picture

My SD intentionally bypassed BM's "monitoring" and created an IG account and was intentionally posting provocative pictures and reaching out to older people about sex/etc.  She lost her phone for like maybe 2 weeks.  I can only imagine what she is doing on it now but she has proven time and time again that she shouldn't have a smartphone and BM just hands it right back to her....she is basically soliciting pedophiles but BM is more worried about hounding DH about what a bad dad he is and how everything is his fault?!?! Whatever!  If that were my child she would have a phone that couldn't get to internet/social media and couldn't take pics...if I even let her have a phone.

Chmmy's picture

Something about these parents think that a phone is a need or the kids are entitled to it.  We need to feed, clothe and house these children, make sure they go to school and grow up to be decent humans.  Smart phones, computers, tvs and cars and earned by children who use them appropriately.

SteppedOut's picture

Not when they have to prove they can buy more than bm, thus making themself "better" than bm. It didn't make him better, it made him more used.