I only have one bio child, a daughter, generally well behaved and a great student. She got a call when she was 14 and we had a couple boys who texted inappropriate sex comments to her. We did regular phone check at that age and she was always punished for continuing to converse with guys who said these gross things to her. She never answered in a positive way to them but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted her to cut communication with boys who wanted to talk about sex. My husband did a good job at contacting their parents, informing them of what was said and letting them know we didn't want their kid contacting our kid anymore and basically to stay away from our daughter.
Fast forwards 5 years and we have a grown daughter who is a successful College sophomore and we have a new kid to raise our 15 year old nephew.
When he came to us over a year ago, he had a broken phone with no cell service. He used this phone to work apps when he could connect to Wi-Fi.
We immediately bought him a new phone with good service and have been paying for it ever since.
I pay about $69 a month for his phone and it stays on my bedside table more than in his pocket. He says nasty things to girls, looks at porn, texts all day long during school (and he isn't making stellar grades or anything, barely passing a couple classes) has password protected apps hidden and of course has people (bad friends) as friends on apps so he can attempt to communicate in secret. God know what kind of pictures he's sending/asking for on snapchat. I've erased everything to factory setting on phone this last time and am not going to give it back until I can figure out some personal control safeguard.
It is so weird being on the other side of this issue. I want to have sympathy, because.. hormones, and normal teenage "feelings" and all the questions I had at that age. I know it's normal to become interested in sex and according to my husband it's just worse for boys (OMG.. eye roll)
I am sticking to my guns preaching SELF CONTROL and RESPECT for yourself and others. I truly believe it is so easy these days to say something over text it is making these teenaged boys so bold! I have read things he has said to his little girlfriend (at school) and it makes me cringe! Example (sorry) " I want to eat u out" "have you ever fingered yourself" etc..
The poor girls never respond with that language, always changing the subject or just saying "no" but they continue to text him.constantly. they do most of the talking and he responds with one or two word answers. The only time I see him text a full sentence he is talking about sex!
He rides the bus with his current "girlfriend" and I know through snooping that they are kidding and light petting at school and on the bus!
He is being punished but do I inform her parents? They are supposed to go to homecoming dance (closely supervised) and I just feel bad for these girls having to deal with this kid and I know from years ago expert with my own daughter it's not just him.
Boys in my day (that I dealt with) would have NEVER had the balls to say that kind of junk out loud to me!!
I need advice! What do I do?? Current situation No Phone and Closely supervised. But he has to go to school!