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SO laid off

CBCharlotte's picture

Sorry to be a blog hog. The first I posted was for advice. This is just dealing with it.

SO was laid off (effective June 3rd) and I'm terrified! I've been telling him for a long time we are living beyond our means....that if he lost his job I could not pay for our lifestyle myself, and it happened.

I am trying to put up a brave front for SO, but inside I am terrified. I keep telling him it will be OK, we will get through it. He is very employable, the problem is that he is 50 and was making mid-high 6 figures. It may be hard to get that back. We are also in a one-trick-pony city of Charlotte, and he was just laid off as an exec from the bank here. It is likely we will have to move back to the northeast (NY or Philly). I hope Philly, since that is where all of my family is, and I don't particularly want to live in expensive and crowded Manhattan.

SO is semi-excited about the move, as we've both wanted to move back north. The plan; however, was to move in 4 years or so when SD15 and SD13 were heading off to college and well into finishing high school. Our timeline may have gotten pushed up. We told the girls about everything. They were very loving and supportive. They would love us to live in NY or close so they could visit there instead of "boring old Charlotte", but they will miss us. And their mom BM1 will be very upset. She has raised them alone in NC for 8 or 9 years when SO lived in the midwest, and now that we have been in the same city for the last 4 years it has been a huge help for her. She loves having EOW to herself, and Thursdays, and help at school events or for carpool. Her and I get along very well and co-parent along with SO all three of us as a team. It will be VERY hard on her and the girls if we have to move.

We just have to see what happens I guess. With very careful cutting of our expenses, I should be able to cover the whole mortgage once his severance runs out if he is still unemployed. He will have to file for unemployment which will help. Luckily, I am in a job where I can live anywhere between Virginia and Maine and still be employed (my territory) and I make about $100k. I have enough for our house and its expenses (utilities, car payments, etc) if we're careful, but can't (and won't) pay child support. I could *maybe* give each mom $100 but that's it.

Life just got a lot more stressful for this 27 year old Sad

Comments

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I'm sorry about your situation. That would make me very stressed too. My DH was made redundant 2 weeks ago so I get your pain. He's looking for work too and is close in age to your DH. Sad

As well as going for a CS modification, could you take the opportunity to get your DH to go to a financial advisor too? It sounds like he may be more receptive to some moderation in spending under the current circumstances.

Try not to stress too much if possible.

kathc's picture

Don't sugarcoat it. Tell him you CAN NOT AFFORD to support your current lifestyle on your salary alone. He needs to get another job ASAP and cut back on spending until he does.

Tuff Noogies's picture

dear god woman WHY do you want to go back north??? you couldnt PAY me enough $ to do that!!!!

surely there's other banks he could work at? even for reduced pay, it's better than no income at all.

i'm sorry for you guys - that kind of news sucks bigtime.

misSTEP's picture

Not to minimize your situation because change is always scary. Especially when it is driven financially. But DAMN girl! You are 27 and make $100K?? YOU GO GIRL!!

CBCharlotte's picture

Hahaha thanks. I majored in a very "unsexy" degree (Actuarial Science) and had plenty of job opportunities and a little luck. I work a lot (I'm in a different city every other week for 2-3 days) but I've been very fortunate so far.

If it was just SO and I, we would be living an easy life on just my salary

CBCharlotte's picture

Yea, it can be stressful. BM1 is great and BM2 is pretty tolerable. She has matured and calmed down a lot over the last 2 years, and her and I have a decent relationship now. All that may change once we file to lower her cushy income though....