So DH emailed BM asking what the plan is for SS' OT services, since he has been receiving them for 6 months. The therapists encouraged SS' involvement in sports, stating it would improve the condition, so DH didn't know if SS would continue to receive OT or not since football has started. We havent received an update from BM on the status of his OT since February, but we keep receiving bills for continued treatment, so DH wanted to check in. 

BM emailed DH back, stating that SS hasn't received OT in two months due to our parenting time, which is weird since we only had SS for two two week blocks and definitely not enough to prevent 2 months of consecutive treatments. BM stated that SS has an appointment this week, which she believes will be his last. 

BM then went on to say that she doesn't appreciate DH asking questions regarding SS' medical care. She highlighted that DH has never really asked questions when money wasnt involved, but now that we are being asked to pay, we are asking questions. BM stated that she wouldn't send bills just to send bills. She stated that "Money isn't her motivator." Well that is rich, BM. You sent DH a reimbursement request based on a refundable deposit 2 days after a medical procedure and when DH informed you that he would only pay once insurance was applied and a final medical bill was received, you stated "Sorry. I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss out on my payment." So clearly it is partially about the money. DH and I may dispute the validity of BM's medical requests with each other, but we never tell her that and we always pay the bills sent, as long as she sends the actual bill. Reminder: this is the same BM that asked DH to pay $800 for her and GF to attend parenting classes (which DH refused). 

DH responded to her that he has never questioned the medical necessity of any of it (to her face anyway), and that he only sent two questions related to medical billing - one asking for an actual medical bill to base payment on, not a payment confirmation listing nothing but the date, card number and amount, and the other, telling BM we would not pay the refundable deposit, only the final medical bill once insurance is applied. We have sent dozens of responses to medical updates stating "Thanks for the update. The check is in the mail," yet asking 2 questions is "questioning every visit/bill." Plus, SS has never really had medical attention outside of his annual physical and common childhood illnesses, so there was never much to question or follow-up on until now. We were simply asking for an update on OT, since we hadn't heard anything in months. 

And yes BM, we generally don't ask for additional information about medical because it always creates a fight and since BM is sole decision maker (which she continues to remind us of), so us asking makes no difference anyway. If BM wants to spend her money pursuing whatever medical care, so be it, but if we are making payment, we deserve to ask a few questions because we can't and won't just send a blank check whenever BM requests reimbursement. We deserve to know why reimbursement is being requested and for what. We deserve to ask for actual medical bills, not just base payment on BM's word. Plus, BM's word has been filled with lies, allegations, and manipulation in the past to PAS, so we have the right to be skeptical. In BM's eyes, we aren't good enough to see SS more than 6 weeks per year or be involved in any actual decision making, yet we are completely acceptable to pay the bill. DH is Dad by credit card or bank account only.