Spring Break is Over
BM's brother came to pick up SS9 today to conclude spring break visitation. We had a really great time and SS shed some light on many alienation tactics from BM. SS left his perfume covered stuffed animal in his closet for the entire visit. When I packed it up with his stuff, he said "I didn't even need it. I dont sleep with stuffed animals at home. BM just makes me take it to your house." I asked SS if he wanted to take home a souvenir model car we got him while visiting a museum this week, and he said no, that if he brings anything to BM's home from our house, BM just throws it out. Whelp there it is.
So BM's brother came to pick up and made a really shitty comment about the perfume covered stuffed animal, asking SS "Did you bring the stuffed animal to Dad's to protect you?" Wow. Protect SS from what?! Us?! Clearly alienation and narcissism is a family trait.
Just as a backstory: BM's family is really disturbing. There is just a really weird vibe and dynamic between them all. They all believe they are superior in every way, especially in intelligence. BM claimed that her Dad sexually abused her as a child. She told DH this when they were dating; DH even took BM to an agency to report the abuse. When BM made false allegations about sexual misconduct against my BIL during our custody battle, which were proven false, DH brought up the allegations against BM's father. BM then recanted saying she lied and it never happened. Both BM and BM's brother now identify as gay, and both are with same sex partners. To be clear, I have no issue with the LGBTQ+ community. BM's family is very enmeshed. BM's Dad gives off a womanizer vibe (but seems very feminine) and BM's Mom is nice and sweet, until you cross her. I don't trust any of them. BM has bragged to me that she requested that her brother be a sperm donor for BM & GF's baby in the future, and in return GF would carry a baby for brother and brother's partner. It's a little too "all in the family" and incestuous for me and is definitely something I wouldn't be bragging about. SS' "sibling" between BM and GF would actually be SS' cousin. If anything, I don't think it's our family that SS needs protection from.
We will see SS in about 2 months for summer break. Our CO sets dates for SS to visit for summer break, but it allows BM to change those dates to accomodate sports. BM has to notify us no later than one week prior to the first day of scheduled visitation. DH was pissed when the judge ordered that sports take priority over visitation, because BM has always used sports to withhold and alienate. Plus SS' sport season doesn't start until after our scheduled dates, but BM lied saying his sports are all summer to try to prevent visitation. DH doesnt like that it only gives him a week to coordinate PTO or Childcare if BM decides to stick to the original dates. BM has yet to provide the dates. SS says BM already knows the dates. I'm sure she does but is waiting until the deadline to provide them to make it difficult to plan. DH is just going to go off the original scheduled dates and shift as necessary.
It was a nice week. I am happy it's over so we can get back to life as normal. Hopefully we won't hear from BM for a while.