Fiance's 35 year old daughter (adopted) causing me grief.
With the holday's now I will be seing more of his daughter. She(Tara) has three children, ages 11,14, and 16. Let me begin with: I've known my fiance' for 7 years and we are getting married in January. We are great parents. I have two children of my own that I am very proud of. My daughter is 25 and my son is 16. They are very responsible upstanding children.
When Tara found out that we were engaged she argued that we hadn't known each other that long. We had been together for 5 years when we became engaged. We have told the family we are getting married in January. She found out from her uncle at the funeral home(my fiance's father passed away) that we were getting married. She was upset that this is how she found out but she never visits or calls unless she needs something. We actually hadn't had an opportunity to tell her. She didn't congratulate us obviously again.
The real reason for this Blog is that they are now coming to visit for the holiday's and we have been having some issues with seeing the grandkids because they are always in trouble. The two oldest have already been sent to Boystown and realeased back to their mother's care. All three have been put in the phyciatric ward at the hospital for behavioral problems. Tara, to me is very verbally and sometimes physically abusive. When she is abusive my fiance' lets her know that, that kind of behavior is not allowed in our home. I say nothing because she tells me it's none of my businesss. We have offered to take the kids when they get in trouble but she refuses to let us have them because she does not want me to raise her kids. Then she punishes us by not letting the children talk to us month's at a time. She tells her children that we are trying to break up their family. So much has gone on how can I still pretend to be nice to her when she causes us so much grief. I do it for my fiance'. He actually asks me to do it for him. He blames his ex-wife for his daughters behaviour. I think he didn't pay much attention to her and now he is trying to make up for it.
Thanks,
Miserable Holiday Girl
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Comments
Your step daughter needs to
Your step daughter needs to grow up...plain and simple. She is a grown adult with almost grown children. She needs to keep her business on her own children and her own situation before she can comment on others. She has to realize that her father does not deserve to be alone and that he has the right to be happy and move forward with a loving wife ( you ). If she give you and grief, maybe have your husband tell her that he is very happy with you, he loves you and he is not going to spend the rest ofhis life alone because SHE is a miserablehuman being that can't get her own family straight.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore
I agree Purpleflower. She's
I agree Purpleflower. She's an adult and should behave like one. Yes, the way she found out about the engagement was wrong, IMO. But the engagement happened, so she needs to adjust. It's not like she's 15 and living at home with DH. Time for her to focus on her own parenting skills (or lack thereof) and allow her father to be happy. When they come for the holidays, be cordial to SD, but don't be overly nice. She may take it as a weakness on your part and start to verbally jab you or worse. Stand your ground when she visits. After all, it is YOUR house and she is a GUEST and should behave like one.