To Let Guard Down
Hello Everyone,
Fiance finally settled the custody case he had with his ex-wife. In settling Fiance asked for more time with his daughter and he got alot more time with the daughter. Recently, it was fiances daughter's birthday so, he purchased her a cell phone. At no time did Fiance ask the ex-wife for any financial contribution. Fiance simply requested permission for both of them to be able to call the daughter on the cell phone. When Fiance's daughter got her cell phone she requested everyone's cell phone number to enter into her cell phone. Fiance was immediately ready to give out everyone's numbers. I advised him to speak to his sister regarding her cell phone and her children's cell phone number and to speak to the other individuals Fiance's daughter requested cell phone numbers or telephone numbers from. I refused to give her my cell phone number because, even though Fiance and she have settled their custody case; I don't trust her. During their custody battle ex-wife had no problem falsely accusing Fiance or anyone related to him or with him. I advised my daughter from a previous relationship not to provide her cell phone number, and I refused to provide Fiances daughter with my cell phone number.
Fiance's daughter asked me to take a picture of the new baby Fiance and I just had. I refused to allow it. When I told Fiance of the situation and decision he indicated that his daughter will never have a normal relationship with her baby sister because of the ex-wife. I explained to Fiance if his ex-wife was sincerely changed in her ways. She would apologize to everyone not just be concerned with settling custody case with him regarding daughter. I explained to Fiance it is hard for everyone to forget his ex-wife's actions towards everyone such has me, his sister, and his mother when if she was upset with you then by all means do whatever you want to you because, the matter was between you both.
My distrust with his ex-wife is she will start again her stuff, it is only a matter of time. Fiance is giving her the benefit of the doubt, and has stopped documenting
his pick up and drop off's, the time he makes phone calls with daughter. I tell him don't let
his guard down but, he has. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do about Fiance's ex-wife? How do you forget and forgive?
To Let Guard Down
Hi,
Thank you for your input but, I disengaged myself from the documenting for him a long time ago.I also stopped the assisting him with any part of the case.
The whole situation was becoming too overwhelming for me with the documentation. When I documented I couldn't believe the things the ex would do. I would be literally in shock, and I
would think in my head that the ex wasn't all there in the head because, for someone to do
the things she has done something can't be right in the head. Another reason for me no longer documenting was because, I no longer wanted to be involved with his mess because,
it was stressing me out.
At this point if he isn't documenting when his ex strikes all I am going to do is sit back
and continue to watch but, you know in my mind I am going to be like I told you so, and I am
sure he will see it in my face without me saying it.
Signing off,
JY
What's the harm.
Its easy enough to block a number if she becomes a problem. As for relatives you or your husband should not speak for them. Let the girl get the number directly from them.
As for documentation I'd let it go also. People regularly change their minds and the ex has already made an agreement for him to see his daughter "a lot more" then he expected.
Now is the time to feed that attitude not continue the old battles. Give her the benefit of doubt and assume the best until she proves otherwise. And don't go around looking for signs either. If she is plaing games it'll become plain enough and soon enough. You won't have to do detective work or pick apart every word and action.
*********************
Since no one else will thank you for what you've done I will do so now. Thank you for being important in a kids life. Fifty years from now its the only thing that will matter about your existance.
To Let Guard Down
Hi,
Thank you for your reply. U r right I can block the number if she becomes a problem but, I did
it before the settlement came about. She called me one day on my old cell phone number, and
called me a bitch. The very next day I called the phone company, and I blocked the ex home
number and cell phone number. She could no longer call me. I just don't want to allow it from
ever happening. If I can prevent it now I will because, I don't have the time for the childish
behavior.
The reason I think fiance should document is because, before he trusted her, and gave her the benefit of the doubt. The ex went and call the police falsely alleging fiance was harrassing her
via the phone. Fiance says the only guarantee he has with the settlement is the fact if the ex makes one mistake he can go to court, and it wouldn't be her best interest for this to happen because, then the physical custody would be in jeopardy.
Signing off,
JY