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SO I TOOK SOME OF YOUR ADVICE....

Cant take it anymore's picture

Submitted by Cant take it anymore on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 11:02am

Thank you to the comments and support yesterday about my BF who was taking advantage of me.

So, last night I told him just to stay home and not to come over last night or tonight. He asked why and I told him that I did not feel comfortable with the way things have been going and that I was really doubting if he really loved me. Of course he tried to assure me that he did and I agreed finally that he may love me but our definations of LOVE were totally different!! Anyway later in the night he called and was complaining about there being no food in the house where he is staying and how hungry he was (must have said that 6 times), I just ignored him. I guess along with the homeless shelter I should have told him about the local food pantry. LOL!! To some of you this may not seem like I made much progress, but for me this was a huge step!! Thanks to all!

Comments

Torn's picture

Submitted by Torn on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 11:15am

awesome!

~Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake.~

~No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.~

Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 12:21pm

(((Hugs)))
You gotta start with the small building blocks before you can get to the more elaborate stuff! Keep it up and keep us updated!!!

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:40pm

I think this is HUGE. If you want to be respected, you have to demand it.

I think a lot of women are trained to feel like if we ask for anything at all, we're being selfish bitches. But the fact is, it's very easy for a woman to get stepped on, in her personal life and in her professional life.

The biggest favor we can ever do ourselves is to demand respect, to make it crystal clear what the criteria are for US to be happy, and then wait and see whether the man we're CONSIDERING spending time with will meet those criteria. The question should ALWAYS be, not: does he love me, but "Is he worth my time?"

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:51pm

You did just fine - baby steps & one day at a time....remember you've got to do what's right for YOU. If it doesn't feel right or you have doubts, there's usually a reason for those little nagging thoughts. R E S P E C T - you deserve no less; love is awesome, but you need the respect that goes with that love or it doesn't mean a thing.

Cant take it anymore's picture

Submitted by Cant take it anymore on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:24pm

Thank you to everyone!! Tonight is night 2 without him here. It was a little easier than yesterday. Not being with him at night has given me extra time to think. Oh yeah and this evening I have not answered his calls or text!!

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:37pm

Good girl! Seriously, I am SOOOOOO proud of you!!

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Cant take it anymore's picture

Submitted by Cant take it anymore on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:47pm

BB,
Just checked my phone, he text at 9:34 "watcha doing", I didn't answer. Then at 9:39 he called, I didn't answer, then at 9:40 "wish you would pick up, I miss u and love you immensely", didn't answer and now at 9:43 "OK I get it you want me to leave you alon3e. Well I love you and good night. Wish you would answer I feel terrible", and guess what? I didnt answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:51pm

Seriously, that is great.

You know why he continues to text you, right? His ego is wounded! He's thinking, "Wait, I thought I had her under my thumb!" And it's driving him freaking crazy!

Guys like that are only nice until you respond. Because they want to assure themselves that you still want them. It's the thrill of the hunt. Makes them feel like their dicks are bigger. Well, f*ck that. We women are not there just to make them feel like they are big macho men. If he was a real man, he would have given a shit before you had to stop answering him to get his attention.

Take a hot bath, relax and rejoice in the calm of your life, and have a good night's sleep, honey. (((HUGS!!!)))

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Cant take it anymore's picture

Submitted by Cant take it anymore on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:50pm

WAIT, I JUST GOT ANOTHER!!
9:48 "I am sorry for upsetting you,l really I am. Please call or text me when u can." Whatever!! He probably doesnt miss me.....he is probably hungry! lol

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:53pm

LOL! Wow. He is desperate, isn't he. Stay strong, honey. He just wants you to make him feel more like a man. If he really was a man, he would have ponied up this attention a long, long time ago. It wouldn't have taken these extreme measures to get him to treat you like you mattered.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Cant take it anymore's picture

Submitted by Cant take it anymore on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:54pm

I promise not to bug you again tonight but just got another one "I can't take this, I am going crazy"

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 8:58pm

LOL! What a fucking loser.

Awesome. Let HIM feel the pain for a while.

Honey, I really strongly urge you to take a long break from this guy. Like, weeks. Or maybe months. Long enough for him to stop contacting you nonstop expecting you to massage his ego.

Long enough for YOU to ask yourself whether he is worth YOUR time.

Is he good enough for YOU?

THAT is the question. Not, are you enough to keep HIS interest.

Because of course you keep his interest -- as long as his ego is wounded. You just got the proof tonight.

Hugs, honey! Good for you!

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Cant take it anymore's picture

Submitted by Cant take it anymore on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 9:06pm

OK, so I lied, but thought you might find this funny just got another text "Honey if youre ignoring me ok, just please send me a text telling me to leave you alone. I need u, want u and love u" of course he does! I am sure he will text several more times, but I am afraid if I dont respond he might show up over here. Then again maybe not..... probably has no gas or gas money since he is buying his own food now!! Good night!! Now I promise to leave you alone!

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 10:02pm

LOL!

Um, yeah: "If you're ignoring me, send me a text"

No: If I'm IGNORING you, I will show that by IGNORING you and NOT sending a text!"

Wow.

Lock your door honey. And have a good night!

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Silver's picture

Submitted by Silver on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 2:43am

d