Why do people not take their children's lives seriously?
For a few weeks now, bm and I have been discussing ss returning to live with us full time. Now that she is back with her bf, and having to commute a ridiculous amount of traveling for her son to live with her, and attend school in our district, she now thinks it's in his bests interest for him to live with us. It's a different story when she is single...if/when she breaks up with bf, she will run right to ss and say "you can move in with me..." underminding all of our hard work.
Two weeks ago, I set up an appointment for bm and I to discuss his living arrangements with our therapists. She not only agreed to attend, but said "I promise I will be there." This a.m. I call her to remind her of the appointment, and now she doesn't know if she can make the appointment, it's now..."I'll do my best...I promise." I called her a few minutes ago to ask her if we need to reschedule or do a telephone conference, and informed her if we cancelled we may be subjected to $150 fee b/c it is less than 24 hours...she said "I'll call you back."
How can one be so disorganized that an appointment to discuss your child's living arrangements slips your mind? I am the step-mother, and this is so important to me...I didn't even have to write the appointment down. It was etched into my memory!!
I have serious reservations to accept a child returning to my house under full time conditions (not b/c of the child, but b/c of the adults involved), and this isn't important enough for her to hear?
I made the appointment and asked her to be there over two weeks ago, and she accepted then. There is no excuse for this!
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Comments
She is
Self Absorbed.... That is all I can say... If it does not revolve around her then its not worth it. How can she go talk to a therapist I mean they will truly see her for what she is.
I couldn't have said it better happy!
You are so right. Self absorbed. I think for a moment I forgot how self absorbed she is.
I know she has reservations about "talking" to the therapist, I know she has skeletons in her closet, but it isn't like we're going to put her stretch positions and torture the truth out of her!
Update
So, I go to the appointment yesterday that bm agreed to meet me at, and she doesn't show up, nor will she accept a phone call while I'm at the therapists office. We tried calling her at work, and she convienently "stepped out" and hid behind her employees answering the phone. She is a true coward, and she has done things like this before.
The therapist doesn't know her too well, and says based on what he does know of the whole situation is that I'm too optimistic for bm, and hope too much for her. He also said that she probably is avoiding confronting the idea of having her son live somewhere else officially b/c it just might be too painful.
The other thing that he pointed out is that she is never going to grow up and mature. He asked me how old she was, and when I told him she was the same age as me (32), he was really surprised, he envisioned that she was much younger b/c of her immaturity.
So basically, bm wants us to do all the ground work, while she can come and go as she pleases. When she is single, she wants ss back, then 48 hours later, she needs us again. I'm so furious right now I could spit nails.
I kind of laid into my dh yesterday (he is a majoir avoider...hates confrontation), and I laid down the law yesterday. I told him you will get custody changed over, or you are sending him back to her. I'm done with her infiltrating her dysfunction into my house. He ignored me, but I don't think he realizes how serious I am, b/c I will not live this way forever, I'm giving him a short period, and either he get's off his ass, and files the paperwork and puts up a fight, or sends him back. If he does nothing, I'm going to go through the roof.
I called the county clerk facilitator who helped us with the paperwork that both parties signed and my dh conveniently got "too busy" to file, to see where we need to go from here to finalize the custody change. I'm so sick of this!