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Day one of disengaging... over and successful!

c-mom's picture

I did slip up one time and tell one of the kids to do something. I caught myself and didn't do it again. The entire day was awesome, but then again, we were on the road all day so.... I got a new pair of shoes today because washing my hands of parenting is going to give me plenty of time to be myself again. Tomorrow, I start getting up in the morning and walking again, cooking healthy things that the kids wouldn't like, and EMROIDERING!!! Shoot, I might even get to pick up a book at some point. How cool would that be? We had a couple of issues today, but DH stepped up. SD-13 and SS-9 wanted to watch a movie. DH told them since it is my TV, my entertainment center, and my movie, they needed to ask me. SS came and very politely asked me if it was okay if he watched the movie. I said, "You sure may, buddy." SD, however, refused to ask me and was sent outside. And I didn't have to say a word. DH took care of it all. After this, when I finished making dinner, the kids were told by DH to fix their plates and SS said, "Thank you, Stacy.", before fixing his plate. When he said it, SD mumbled something that really sounded like, "Thank you, Daddy." I answered SS with a, "You're welcome." A minute later I said to DH, "Are you really going to let her say 'Thank you, Daddy'?" He says she said Stacy. I don't think so but even if she did, I ought to be able to hear her at least half as well as the entire neighborhood heard her making fun of me for being fat the other day when I am standing half the distance from her. But, I did not even have to say anything. DH thought about it for a while and after he decided I was right, he made her tell me "Thank you." correctly. I feel good about this. I am going to keep a disengaging journal. If anything big happens I will blog about it. If not, I will blog weekly about my disengaging. Hopefully, this is the ticket to some peace around here for all of us.


oneoffour's picture

"I am sorry. I didn't catch that."

It sounds like SS9 will catch on a lot quicker than his sister. And there is NOTHING like indulging in your favourite hobby. A delightful cabin in the mountains (with electricity and running water) with the space to embroider/cross stitch/craft or sew/quilt is my dream. Happy stitching!

just tired's picture

Loved this comment about your insides catching up with the outside!

I'm fairly new to disengagement as well, and like any new behavior it takes a little time. But, the resulting sense of calm is worth it!!!

Good luck to all of us learning this new behavior! And thanks to all here who have already been through the process and have recommended it to the rest of us.