You are here

Loosing my mind over MIL

Bradymom's picture

My stepkid had a birthday early in the same month as my biokid. My DH asked if skid wanted a party or to have friends over for bday. DH asked several times. Answer was no. 2 weeks later it's my biokid's bday. We had a big picnic at the park, potluck & volleyball game & cupcakes... A full celebration. When I called to invite close family, I explained why we didn't have a gathering for my skid & we are for biokid. I also asked if they had a gift for stepkid to wait till they were leaving to give it to skid to open at home, not at party & not to make a big production of it, as the party was not a joint party & skid requested to not have a party. With that said, my MIL gave skid a gift & had him open it at the park within the first 15 minutes of the party. Also when we were singing happy birthday she called out skids name too. My DH & I were both very annoyed by it, but because my biokid didn't see the gift given & didn't have a reaction to her calling out skids name, other than saying "that's weird", we let it go without a discussion. This is the THIRD issue we have had with my MIL with birthdays. This weekend is another biokid's bday & I decided to not include the FIL & MIL. I feel bad, but I'm fed up with her trying to control our holidays. I feel very protective of the holidays bc of the stepkids & biokids both coming & going & just don't want her constantly disregarding our wishes. Am I unreasonable & not promoting family relationships? Or does she need to respect that it's our family?


kathc's picture

Your MIL sounds like an overbearing bitch and your DH needs to put her in her place.

furkidsforme's picture

I think that while your MIL was a touch out of line, you aren't handling this social faux pas very graciously. MIL just wanted to make sure SS felt his birthday mattered, too since she did not get to celebrate it. That's all. She hardly ruined your BS's day or party. Why make a mountain out of a molehill?

Also think about the tension you are fueling between the kids. Is it really worth it for a quickly uttered name during a song?

Bradymom's picture

Like I said, we didn't address it bc we felt it was more of an annoyance but didn't hurt anyone. In the past her behavior was way out of line... One time taking my bio kid away from party guests & opening all the gifts, them coming to tell all of us that they could view the pictures of the gift opening. When questioned by another guest, her reasoning was "she doesn't like how fast the kids open gifts & wanted to watch her excitement with each gift & not be rushed" I couldn't even say anything nor could my DH. We were so confused & pissed. Later MIL questioned me, asking of I was offended, as the other guests had told her they were... I told her what's done is done, please don't do it again tho.

CommittedMomma's picture

I think your in laws need to be included but when your husband calls to invite them, he needs to address her behavior and tell her that if she can't respect your boundaries, then she can't come. Good luck!