Whoa! an actual apology from H
Hold the phone! Run out and see if the sun is still in the sky! H actually apologized-even made a special call to apologize! :jawdrop:
What happened? H called this morning to tell me how skids grades are improving. So I ask "Did you mention applying for grants/scholarships to SD17?"(and then realized that this is not detaching-darn, gotta work on that).
Well, he went off! That's her mothers job, and she's not doing it! He's working out of state-what's he supposed to do? Yelling, telling me to quit nagging him about it (ummm, I've mentioned it twice since we've been married). I stayed silent.
He called back-just now. Telling me he's sorry, knew I was just trying to help (darn, gotta work on detaching harder)...how much he loves me, wants this to work, skids love and respect me blah blah blah.
Do ya'll think perhaps he's a little scared now that I have job apps and school enrollment papers around? Or could it be a high is coming on H from the low this weekend? Whatever. Working on detaching....
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Don't let him fool ya, BW
Just be cautious...you are MUCH STRONGER now than
you were when you first began posting; you have
the "wheels in motion", and he senses it. Maybe he
even KNOWS it.
PLEASE don't let a few nice gestures detract you from
taking care of YOUR plans!! If in doubt, go back and
read all your posts....he has been horrible to you, and I think very few of us here think that's he's just "changed" so quickly.
He'd be the type to be "nice" to you until you DEOP
YOUR PLANS and NOT GO TO SCHOOL, and then it would
be the same crap or WORSE.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Oh, Kitty-don't worry. It didn't fool me for a moment
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
It just made me feel a little better, ya know? Not about salvaging a marriage. I have no intention of letting go of my quest for financial independence.
Too much has passed in the short 6 months we've been married for me to let a few decent words dereail me. Actions, after all, speak louder than words.
BUT it will be easier for me to obtain my goals if I am not tied up in knots over whatever he's currently yelling at me about. While I work on detaching and get to the point where he's just background noise.
I agree 100% with KK
Be on guard, Bewitched!
He cannot change overnight. People like your DH are simply not capable of changing like that (insert "snap" of fingers)! He has some serious problems which need serious therapy to overcome, and not just deciding to instantly change one day.
I, too, think he senses something is up with you- your new resolve. A new plan. Something. Take it for what it is. Maybe things will get a little more quiet. Maybe he will be a little nicer to you, but please just stay on guard and focus on you and your original goal.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Worry not my friends
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
Whatever is going on with H, whether he's playing a game, or actually contrite, really doesn't matter at this point in time. Personally, I think he's scared. That i will file at anytime. And he loves having the power trip he's had, and won't want to lose it. So he's throwing a few bones to the dog, so to speak.
While I've never been good at putting myself first, I am excellent at putting my son first. And we've talked. Too much, I fear. My son. We've always had each others backs, so to speak. He has alot of rage in him he works on every day over the things that went on in my marriage to his father. And when I talked to him about some of the things going on here, he was prepared to show up with a baseball bat and have it out with H.
Of course, I don't want that. I would walk thru fire before I let that happen. But, as my son put it, he's making you miserable, Mom. And that affects my life-it's making me miserable.
The point-I made a vow to my son to achieve my goal - the schooling if I can maintain long enough to achieve it; a job to work towards my financial independence. Because I may not be able to put myself first, but I sure as the world will put my son first. And what affects me affects him.
PHEW!
OK, Bewitched, you had me a little worried there for a minute. I thought, maybe, just MAYBE, you were buying into his false bravado and insincere apologies. (It's the SAME behavior as the guy who beats the shit out of his wife and then showers her with all kinds of gifts, while he tells her, "I'm sorry, honey- I'll NEVER do that again!")
But I'm glad to see that you have your eyes focused on the reality of the situation.
Stay strong, girlfriend. You know we are are rallying around you.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
He needs to..
He needs to THINK before he opens his fat trap!
Bless your son for defending you. It seems like he's the only one who does.