Clothes – My Issue
Help! I’m struggling with the clothes issue. I know it’s petty and it shouldn’t bother me but when SSon’s clothes (that we bought) disappear it’s like sand between my toes. I have been working hard not to let it get to me, I haven't said a word about it to DH for months, it doesn’t bother DH when they wear clothes that we’ve bought to BM’s, but it bothers me and here’s why:
BM never sends back the clothes. EVER. DH has to “remind” SSons repeatedly to bring stuff back, translation, he yells at SSons.
It came to a head this week. Temperatures have been below zero all week. SS11 gets dressed for school and he’s wearing a short sleeve t-shirt. I ask him to put a turtleneck on under the t-shirt and he complains because it’s not cool enough to wear to school.
DH hears this conversation and flies off the handle. He tells SS11 that if he would wear the clothes back here that we bought, instead of wearing summer t-shirts here in the middle of winter, then he’d have enough “cool” warm clothes to wear. SS11 then put on a long sleeve t-shirt.
A little background: BM is supposed to provide clothes for the boys. She only sends clothes if DH specifically asks because we ran out. We return the clothes that don’t fit or are not appropriate for the season. She doesn’t like them to wear jeans so they usually wear nylon type athletic pants with zippers or snaps on the legs.
In fall we bought each SSon a pair of jersey lined cargo pants, a pair of flannel lined jeans, 2 long sleeve shirts (we let SSons pick out there own), one sweat shirt, and a coat.
As of today the following items have disappeared:
2 long sleeve shirts (SS11)
Sweat shirt (SS11)
Cargo Pants (SS7)
1 long sleeve shirt (SS7)
Sweat shirt (SS7)
And our weekend is this weekend so SSons will have to wear what little warm clothes we have left. And I know DH will be yelling at them yet again. This irritates me even more than the missing clothes.
I told him when we bought the clothes that he should just tell SSons they are for our house but he didn’t. And now it’s July 4th in January clothing wise at our house.
I told DH the following yesterday:
“I understand and accept that you don’t feel that same way I do about the clothes we buy ending up at BM’s house. But now we are stuck – there are not enough warm clothes for the boys to wear here this weekend. I was trying to avoid a situation like this by not letting the boys wear the clothes to BM’s. It is my wish that this issue would be important to you because it is one of the few SSon related issues that is important to me.”
He acknowledged what I said and hasn’t said a word about it since, and neither have I. I’m dreading this weekend I know DH will be having arguments with SSons over their clothes. And it could have been avoided.
Thanks for letting me vent. I realize in the grand scheme of things that there are so many other step issues that are way more important.