When do we all decide to take back who we are or were!!!(LONG)

Ladies....I have been in most of your shoes about the last 3 yrs. I felt defeated! I felt like taking my own child and running to the other side the world! I wanted to hit someone or the most run them over! I wanted to scream so loud that the whole neighborhood knew it was me! I wanted to give my SD10 the ass whipping I believe she needs...sorry if most of you don't agree but I got one when I was young and I turned out just fine...as a matter of fact my own 3 kids get it when they need it. I have been married and divorced...i have lived with men who had no kids of their own and now with one who has 2 of his own! I have threatened to leave only for him to make an effort to make his kids do right for a week at the most then it was back to round 1! I have caught his child playing with herself..I have let his child and mine take a bath together(both females)they were 7 & 8....only to walk in with her rolling all over my child...I have watched his daughter do a nude dance in the mirror...that I don't even think I have done for her dad...I have had her stealing and lying till it makes me sick to even leave her in a room alone!I have caught her smoking at 8...only to confront dad with this and nothing be done...stealing...only to hear dad say that it was only gum! When the BM was around she was the kill you with kindness type...even told me it was ok to make her kid eat soap...RIGHT and I be in jail tomorrow! I have been mom to these kids for the last 2 yrs...I have tried to teach his daughter self-respect and that of others...a lady doesn't sit with a skirt on with her legs wide open(thats the reason she wears short under any skirt that doesnt have them built in) I have taught her that woman are different then men ...you need to shower more then once a week! I have taught her through my actions that all men are dirt that you heard from your mom...that your dad is a good man....didnt tell her that your mom was a lying stealing ho....I could go on and on and on!!!!!!!!
BUT my point is....arent you your own person!???? Who runs your life??? You are your husband,bf or whatever.....???
It took me 2 yrs to stand up for myself and my children...there is nothing and no one in this world who will bring me to the point i was before....I STOOD UP FOR ME AND MY KIDS!!!
If my FH....doesn't enjoy this life...the life where I work...you work on the side...I cook...you dont...I do most chores in this home...until I made a chore chart....I do all laundry I give you everything any man in his right mind would ever want.....and you would flush it all down the drain to please your daughter...who when she is 18 will almost forget she knows you or she will be standing beside you waiting for her hand out!You will be ALONE! OR with your adult child! I could keep going but I think you get the point.
STAND UP ladies...take back your self worth....arent you worth more then to be disrespected! Walked all over by a little child or even an adult child! YOU and ONLY YOU can make it happen....is there that much love in your relationship that we go through all we do...I DONT THINK SO.....because if he loved you the way we say we love them....HE WOULD STEP UP TO HIS OWN KIDS!
Ladies...do it...take back your lives...I have...I tried this one last thing..and told him I was trying this one last thing...if it doesnt work....then we have got to move on...sadly I would watch him go...but know that in a month or a year or less who knows...there will be someone who respects me and my kids...for all I do for him!

beebusdriver93's blog
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Thanks! I just want more

Thanks! I just want more woman to realize.....Who is making us live the lives we are living!!!!?????? We are choosing to live this way...until we find peace within ourselves and say I am going to start living for myself....NOTHING will ever change!

It took me 5 years to get

It took me 5 years to get back to myself. I have been abused (by bm and sd12) and have been walked over by dh so many times. The lies and bs are unbelievable but my family, God and I know the truth, that's really all that matters.
I'm not sure what happened but DH started to actually stand up for me and every time, he finally saw them for what they were. Giving him ultimatiums like he had to leave his wife and newborn or he could no longer see SD. Gee, that's quite a choice, a grumpy ex girlfriend that is a pig and a nasty 12 year old or his adoring wife that bends over backwards for her family and his newborn daughter.
I had it out with both BM and SD in separate incidents and have no desire to have any kind of relationship with either of them, I felt much better to tell them excatly what I thought. I tried to be nice and gave and gave hoping to win over sd but it was a huge waste of time and effort. I found it quite a relief when I realized that I can't change sd and I cannot really have any control over how she turns out. I do not waste anymore time and all problems do eventually work themselves out, sd comes once a month now (if that) for 2 days. This saturday, we have a babysitter as we're going out and so even if she does come it's only friday night and sunday morning.

Good for you! I took back me!

Good for you! I took back me! I feel so much better...i didn't even want to get out of bed...I felt defeated! But I realized I have to come first along with my kids and if he wasnt making an effort why should I! Now he is backing me....shocked me! He actually will talk to me about something now instead of looking at me like im attacking his child! Its a good feeling.

Don't 'cha just feel

Don't 'cha just feel liberated???!!!!! It's amazing! It may all come back to bite us in the butt later on down the road, but taking a stand and fighting for our own self-worth and well-being is well worth it!

All I asked of the skadults was just a TINY bit of morality and just the slightest indication that they might someday want to work for a living, or even just go to school and give me the illusion that they plan to work someday! :o) I don't think these are unrealistic expectations--but you cannot imagine the looks of horror I get from both them and DH. No one, and I mean NO ONE (except me) expects anything of these skids! When I finally put my foot down, all hell broke loose. And, I don't even care! My adult child was expect to work for what she got. She went to college and graduated, has a job and supports herself. She associates with people who do not have criminal records, work and support themselves. Why is this so difficult for the rest of them to catch on to????? Good Lord, we are going to hell in a handbasket!!!!