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beebusdriver93's picture

So I have been trying for 2 yrs to show him that the path(or example)he is making for his daughter is gonna lead down the wrong one.
Why can't he see what he is doing is insane?!?!?!
So ladies....this child pushes all the buttons she can....example...the tv is to go out every night weekend or not at 9pm. I had to make this rule because it would stay on all night and she used the light of that tv to do as she pleased in her room...painting nails in bed blah blah.
So after many times of seeing the tv still on after 9 and checking to see that the timer had been changed...she did it...I have gotten on her time and time again...she continues to do last night ditto...once again it was changed...this time just for 9:05 but it was changed all the when I got home this morning I ask what kind of punishment does she get this time...he ask what she did this time and I said changed the timer on the tv...he said oh its been changed for 3 wks now but he didnt know how to change it back....ummm excuse me...he didnt even tell me..cause he knew I would go off..he says it was only 5mins...IM SICK OF THIS SHIT(HE IS YELLING)EVERYDAY ITS SOMETHING...its only 5 mins and its been done for weeks now...
EXCUSE THE HELL OUT OF ME...but what did you teach your child...NOTHING BUT TO BACKSTAB point she does what she wants when she wants how she feels like doing rules apply to her she changes things to suit her PERIOD and daddy is letting it happen.
Another example....first week of school she wore flip flops they broke had to take shoes to school and he...himself told her no more flip flops to schoool...this past friday she wore them again but when ask by him first she said she had other shoes in her bag just in case....i said no...she was told not to wear them...not change the rule to what she wanted....but it was okay with him cause she didnt have extra shoes the first you damn idiot...she changed your rule to suit her...when your told to do something you dont change it to what you want
OMG>>>>when im long gone I cant wait for another few years and see her in big trouble and he will be the one to blame!


beebusdriver93's picture

That is it...I do the punishment...but he doesn't see why she should be punished for changing the timer once again...its like she doesnt have to follow any rule or change it to her way...his thing was it was only 5 mins change....he knew about it and let it stand why didnt he man up and do something about it? He taught her this...she can do what she wants and he will let her...if he knew the tv was like that and didnt change it ....if he allows her to break the rules to her liking and lets her????
When she gets older or when she is an adult what did he teach her...NOTHING....he is teaching her she doesnt have to account for what she does and he will have to always be there to take the blame or take up for her...why cant he see what he is doing?

hardatwork's picture

and there is really nothing you can do if he won't see things for what they are. i am going through the same thing with ss10, and it makes me crazy. but i think we just have to learn to step back if the actual parents let it be that way. and i am about ready to just say you know what, this is not what i would accept from my children so i do not accept it from yours, and he needs to get his own place and move out and then his son can be raised like the little disrespectful brat they are raising him to be. i just wont be bothered by him if they dont care enough to teach him respect and responsibility. hang in there, you are right that he is not doing her any favors. Smile

beebusdriver93's picture

I can't understand why he doesn't see it! If he expects and has said he wants me to treat his kids as I would mine...then if I see there is a problem why dont talk about it instead of yelling about it...because its his child...that is all it is to it...point out fault in my kid or others kids but dont do it to his. Yes I agree time for him to move on to his own place and let his kids rule his home and his life but let me just get on with mine. Its crazy to me that instead of making his child do what is right he would rather us split up...

beebusdriver93's picture

I wish for the days when they weren't here 24/7!!!
See the problem with letting it go and letting her go hog wild is that she isnt the only child in this house and it affects them. I have 1 of my own and he has another child here as well. Disengaging myself from him and her and he doesnt even see it...he is pushing me away and doesnt seem to care one way or another...I honestly think he needs just as much help as she does!

skylarksms's picture

When DH and I would fight about my DS, my argument ender was always, "At least he is bring money INTO our household rather than taking it OUT!"

Not fair, I know, but my DS20 didn't give us any problems more serious than not cleaning his room promptly or being a little late for curfew.

Unlike my SD17 who is already a single mom...

beebusdriver93's picture

Same here boys do not live here but when they come by its always something that he has to complain about that they do or with my oldest that he is allowing his daughter to do....who the heck is he to tell my son what he is doing wrong with his child when he is doing far worse with his!
I see this relationship ending sooner then later just because he can't open his eyes.
I,myself,alone sit his child down the other day and had a long talk with her..she admitted she doesn't want me around cause I say "NO" alot and I don't let her by with stuff her dad would....I told him this and its like he doesn't believe me. I have given this child so much. I don't go shopping with my daughter and leave his sitting at home(maybe I should). Both my child and his cheerlead but for different teams...I make sure I go to my childs and I go to his when the times dont conflict(I refuse to neglect my child for his). Yes his child doesn't have a mother....that isnt my fault, or his or his childs...his her fault for choosing the wrong path for her life....but I am trying to be a mother to her...far better then the real mother was and i get met with a road block everytime.
I feel as if im in a lose lose situation!

beebusdriver93's picture

Exactly....he taught his child to lie! I mean you gotta be honest...she does my littlestepshedevil....and we all shouldnt have to lock our stuff up because of her...she has to learn....goddddddddd the more i read the madder I get at ignorant men!

hbell0428's picture

Oh my goodness; it sounds like my hell! I say something ~ he over rides me. I try to tell him that people are saying bad things about her behavior; he calls us liars. My SD13 has been with us FT for about 4 months and I CANNOT stand the environment. It's like walking on egg shells; at my OWN house. Things won't change they never will. I have been with him since she was 2; they only get worse. We have both pulled her aside and told her to stop acting so rude to me - she'll walk right by me and ask Daddy something or interupt us when we talk; she does it anyway. Dad is blind; and when I do argue he responds with "why do you hate her so much" simple - BECAUSE SHE'S NOT MADE TO LISTEN!! (our other 3 r and they follow my rules)

Is there light - anywhere??

beebusdriver93's picture

My goodness you are living in my house! People do talk bad about my SD10 almost me...they dont talk to him...then when I say something its like I am lying. Why would I lie...go ask these people yourself. He is very much in denial over her. I don't get it he is not that way with his son. Yeah he is a good kid for the most part and if you have to speak to him he normally doesnt do whatever it was again...but this kid keeps doing it over and over the same things...she needs help something I cant and he cant give her but in turn he needs some too!