What would you make of this?
Just to start off I kinda stayed out of this one.
So went to SO's sister for dinner last night. We picked up SS and ate there with his parents too. His mom is clearing things out and brought a bunch of boxes and stuff for her house like old trophies, and things from when she was younger. She was so pissed because she told her mom to just throw away everything.
Anyway there was also a box with just like a few things in that were SS stuff that he has done these last few years literally like 5 items max. One was a book full of stories that his class had wrote the one year. I guess the teacher took them and got is bounded and hard cover and everything. Future MIL said "I brought them here, because I figured F-SIL might like to have them.
I made a funny look and just said it is SS's stuff don't you think he might want it? I dropped it after that and never said anything more and walked away. I didn't even talk about with SO after I left or anything.
I think even my SO was a little like "what the hell" because he said no we need those things for when SS gets older to make fun of him and show his friends and girlfriends to tease him.
SS lives with us and his dad has him full time and his is parent. F-SIL didn't even ask for the stuff SO's mom just gave it.
I know many of you will say well he didn't parent and his sister did. Again she has always just been the Aunt. I have nothing against his sister. We actually have a girl night scheduled soon.
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The parents are leaving the
The parents are leaving the area and don't want to move stuff like this. Perhaps they figure that F-SIL would be the better keeper of the goods since they perceive their son as less responsible?
And.. yes... F-SIL was very much acting like a surrogate mom before you entered the picture. Maybe there were even references to her in stories etc?
I do not think there was any
I do not think there was any reference to her. The book is not that old maybe from this past year or the year before. Some of his friends have stories in it and he is going to be going to a new school. Don't you think SS would want to have those reminders of his friends. I do not remember the other things but FSIL I think even thought it was strange and said she did not care if we took it home with us.
Well we forgot it but I am sure we will get the stuff later. Mainly just the book I really think SO wanted it.
I think that parents just
I think that parents just naturally figured her to be the more stable and responsible person to keep mementos. Your DH didn't even have a home of his own until he met you and tbh, there is no guarantee that it will be a long term relationship (not jinxing.. just seeing their perspective of a relatively NEW and untested relationship).
So, they may have figured she would be a good person to hold the stuff. Certainly if your SO wants to keep it and SIL doesnt.. then there is no problem.
I get what you are saying and
I get what you are saying and I would totally believe them seeing her more stable if his mom was not unloading so much stuff on us as well. Both her children have told me that she likes to stir up drama and create tension. I have seen it so part of me wonders if she does things just to get a rise out of someone.
Dang... her ash diagnosed
Dang... her ash diagnosed dementia didn't play out very well?
A little ditty I've always shared with all the littles in my life...
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What?
What?
I agree with this - "What I
I agree with this -
"What I make of it is that your trying to diminish the role she played in SS's life and she was a lot more involved than just being an aunt."
I am not trying to diminish
I am not trying to diminish anything. She has played a very important role in his life as an adult who will be there for him. I also know the kind of job she works takes a lot of her time during parts of the year and she is not around as much as other times. Just trying to maybe get across that she had only been a really involved Aunt.
When he was an infant and super young she was around but not like it is now. She has never lived in the same house as SS. If anyone was seen as more of a mother person it would be his grandmother.
She and her husband was the one that would but him socks and underwear and do the day in and day out things when SO was traveling. She would mentions it to the aunt and the aunt would go buy it. She is important and has been a great person for SS. I see their interaction and he really only has ever seen her as his aunt.
No one in the family has ever referred to her as filling the mother role or being like a mom figure to him. Always super devoted Aunt. Now that we have gotten past a few things her and I good and I really like her. I think it is great she has been there and that SS loves spending time with her and going to do fun things with her.
I am pretty permanent our
I am pretty permanent our house is in both our names (we bought it) and we are engaged. We will be getting married next year.
I am getting better at ignoring them.
When they leave, especially
When they leave, especially since down sizing, F-SIL will essentially be the matriarch (in standing) of the family. That title includes being the keeper of all sentimental things.
Lololololol
Lololololol
NO SuperJew it is not. The
NO SuperJew it is not. The stuff is real. This really happened.I know I was a probably a little judging of my future in-laws at the beginning but some people on here not you have helped to see I need to relax and just ignore things.
Which is pretty much what I did this weekend. I made one small comment about how SS might want the stuff and just moved on and never brought up again other than here.
In November SO still lived
In November SO still lived with his parents and was too broke to live on his own and he needed a new job and now he already owns the house? When and how all that happened so fast?
Never said he was broke. He
Never said he was broke. He has had a job for the last several years he switched so he would not travel. He has been saving up his money while living with his parents for a down payment on a house.
If grown people with children
If grown people with children cannot afford to purchase a house, then they rent. Why would a grown man live with parents. So unusual, immature thing to do. But anyways I really don't know why you always complain about these people. They provided a roof over your SO and SS heads, they raised SS for him etc None of your complains about these people sound valid. Are you just jealous or insecure?
Maybe MIL thought that you
Maybe MIL thought that you and DH have the next 10 years or so to collect SS "stuff" There was only 5 things in the box, so why not let SIL, who was a mother figure to SS have them??
I guess I really don't see the big deal.
I think that MIL wanted SIL
I think that MIL wanted SIL to have those things because SS created them when SIL and MIL were doing parenting things with and raising SS. It makes sense to give it to whoever was with child at the time.
Now SS maybe did those things in school not with aunt or grandma but it was still while he was under other people's care, not SO's. SO will have things that are made when he will parent SS
And young kids dont care to keep their childhood memories. Family members are the ones who want their stuff. It was funny you thought he'd want it and it was uncalled to tell MIL that. It doesn't make you look good. It has nothing to do with you and it was not made under your supervision. Stop meddling
Whatever on the meddling. SS
Whatever on the meddling. SS has never lived with the SIL or been under her care for several days 24/7. He has gone there for sleepovers but never living there. SS has always lived in the same house as my SO and when he traveled for work was only a phone call away.
SO has parented his kid. Not perfect but no one is but he is his parent and SS listens to his dad way more than he listens to anyone else.
Does not make me look good to who, my future MIL.... yeah I do not care what she thinks of me.
Yeah it seems that way. It
Yeah it seems that way. It also appears she does not know how to read very well.
(No subject)
I am not pissed off at all
I am not pissed off at all just thought it was weird she did not give my SO his son's things. I am pissed at livingoutloud because she does not read. SO was never broke and I never said that.
Whatever things is not a defense it is just "ok. you can think that all you want" I made one small comment and never brought it up again. If my SO had told me and I purposely went out of my way to say something yeah I would agree i butted in. No I was just standing there talk to SO's sister and future MIL and walks in and just announces she gave he SS stuff. No body asked, no body was really talking about it or to her she just said it.
She looked at me and looked at my SO because she came walking in after she did. After I said one thing, I realized ok not getting into this one as my SO will deal with it. I walked away. I am human we all say stuff sometimes.
"I made a funny look and just
"I made a funny look and just said it is SS's stuff don't you think he might want it? I dropped it after that and never said anything more and walked away."
How did I say that earlier? Stirs something up & walks away feigning some sort of innocence.
His mom stirred things up by
His mom stirred things up by just announcing out of the blue what she did. Wow you really make me out to be a horrible person. You are really good at twisting things to make it look really horrible you should get a trophy.
Please honestly stop. I try very hard not to make things harder on anyone during all this huge change that has been going on. I have even put myself in situations that I do not like to make things easier on SS and SO.
My future MIL likes to make things difficult. On our way there this is the conversations my SO and I had:
SO: thank goodness my mom's flight already left so she will not be there.
ME: yeah she will her flight does not leave until late tonight. (He was instantly not happy)
SO: Well at least she will not be at our housewarming party.
Me: Why?
SO: This was she can not get stupid drunk and say stupid things and piss everyone off like she does every time there is a party with family.
Me: She is not that bad, sometimes but she could be fine.
SO: yeah no.
It is not me that creates the drama. Can you please stop and just give constructive feedback instead of just blaming me for the issues his family has had long before me.
If his family was such a
If his family was such a train wreck of drunks then he was seriously neglectful to leave them in charge of his young son. He should have been on his own... working a job where he did not travel and taking care of his own son.
Sure, some adults live at home to save for their first house etc... but leaving his child with people that are as you describe is reckless. That should have meant he didn't have that option since that meant exposing his kid to drunks and having drunks be in charge of him. Unbalanced ones that cause drama.
I don't know.. please forgive
I don't know.. please forgive me.
lol you two are funny. Who
lol you two are funny. Who needs common sense...
Just stop because now you are
Just stop because now you are just attacking my SO. I do not divulge everything about my life on here. I vent like everyone else and yeah it has been plenty bad about his family.
His dad was there every day with his his son when he traveled and he did not drink that much maybe a beer or two at night. My SO was not irresponsible and his mom's drinking was not always like this.
Please just stop you so desperately want to make me and my SO to be these horrible people that have no idea about life, kids, or anything else. Him and I should be putting his parents and sister on the highest pedestal and bend over backwards to kiss their asses because they are the only ones that have ever take care of his son.
Yup my SO total piece of crap who is worth nothing and a waste of my time and energy. Happy now!
Let it go.
Fair enough. I get it. I can
Fair enough. I get it. I can see how people on here see my SO and yes he made the choice. I know that.
He may have been happy with the status quo, I am not sure but he was getting fed up with a few things before I came along. Who knows how it would have played out.
Maybe his parents moving is the kick in the butt he needed to really step up and not raise his son as a group effort but do it more himself. Again I know he is not perfect but I do know he didn't leave them to do it all either. When he was gone yes they did it all when he was home he did it all.
I just vent on here about his family I am actually pretty nice to them I swear. If i do not let it all out somewhere I will explode.
If you say so. I am not going
If you say so. I am not going to defend my SO anymore to anyone on here. I am going to ignore now because what really matters is that I know the truth and witnessed how much parenting he does before we moved in together.
She absolutely didn't say he
She absolutely didn't say he was a bad father... but he wasn't there a lot by choice. Is that bad? not necessarily. Not if you have reliable and trusted people to care for the child in your absence.
What you don't get to do is after they did all that call them crazy, manipulative drunks.
Because if that HAD been true, then they shouldn't have been trusted with the child.
Thank you! I saw it the same
Thank you! I saw it the same way you do! He was young and left alone to raise a child. I get why he made the choices he did. I even understand why he started traveling because it meant more money that he was saving to move out eventually.
I am not a troll, promise.
I think the reason that
I think the reason that people are having a hard time with it is that the OP has had control issues and problems with this man's family from day one. She has worried over SIL getting her nose out of joint since now that SHE (ash) is here... there is not going to be the need for her to help care for the boy. She has problems with the in-laws as well with regards to THEIR involvement and care of the child.
Because... now we are gonna live on our own and the boy will be my little boy and we will live as one little happy family and have no more need for his parents or his sister.
Her posts were all about how things would be perfect once they are away from these "horrible" people. They interferred, caused drama etc...
OP her very self is ignoring the FACT that his parents and sister collectively raised his child when he was out of town for extended periods of time and couldn't be there.
So before ASH was on the scene... parents and SIL helped raise the kid and her SO had no problem.
Then Ash comes along.. she doesn't like any of them. Hates going to visit. Can't wait to get the son and his dad away from them.
So, if anyone is calling out the whole "village raising a child concept" it is OP herself.
Now she is trying to go back and justify it all by calling them crazy, drunks.. controlling etc...
If they were really that bad, then I would think that they shouldn't have been trusted with the child... village or not. I mean, a sober, responsible and sane stranger is better than a crazy drunk relative right?
I am not saying that Ash is a horrible person either. I just think she wants to remove those influences from her household.
I don't think SO was terrible but he did let his family take a large role in caring for his son and relied on them for a place to live when he couldn't/wouldn't take that on for himself. He wasn't a horrible father.. he was just absent.
My family (and every other
My family (and every other family I know)would have done exactly with this man's parents and sister did for him and his son. HOWEVER, shit would have hit the fan if that person turned around and did a 180 when he/she met a new SO and no longer needed the family's help.
Instead of just saying thank you and moving on, he has allowed the OP to push his family out of the picture by claiming there is something wrong with them. His parents made it possible for him to have the money needed for his share of the down payment on their home. All 3 have gone above and beyond for him and his son.
How does he repay them? By going along with the OP's idea that they are drunks, crazy..
This is what I was trying to
This is what I was trying to say.
I have not pushed anyone out.
I have not pushed anyone out. They chose to move to FL. They have removed themselves on their own. Honestly I do not know what happened I do think things were different before me but I do believe me coming along and my SO naturally pulling away cause some of the issues. We see his family every week. We invite them over or go there. I am not cutting anyone off I vent on here and that is it.
Guess what since now my SO and his son and the dog are all gone the parents are really struggling and yes they are drinking more. I think for years all was good and they were responsible adults. Now they don't have to be good for them. I did not change anything and was not all demanding. I see them more than my own parents. So stop making me out to be this crazy controlling freak. I simply vent on here like everyone else.
He didn't go along with me I went along with him. He has been saying stuff about his mom for a year now and how he can't stand when she drinks. His dad was there and sober. He left his kid woth a very responsible person.
No. His mom stirred nothing
No. His mom stirred nothing up.
I have twisted nothing.
I do not need a participation trophy. I don't believe in them.
I don't make you out to be anything. These are all your own words.
Oh... now the SIL AND the MOM are drunks. I see.
My very constructive feedback is to BUTT OUT of this familiy's business because they didn't HAVE these problems... til you.
Unless, of course, you enjoy all this drama and nonsense. Then, hey, keep on doin' what you're doin'!!
You have to get along with the women in your bf's life. Or at least fake it. You seem to come at them all "eff you guns blazin i'm in charge" in that sweet pa way.
Step back.
They are drunks??? What???
They are drunks??? What??? Why were they taking care of a child for so long and unsupervised? Is this a new development? These people sound more and more like "expert" and her clan.
The sil was diagnosed as an
The sil was diagnosed as an alcoholic by ash.
The mil was diagnosed with dementia by ash.
And, in this story, mil is also now a drunk.
Personally... nah, I don't think so.
Expert is a totally different thing. That's just for fun and ridiculousness.
Not new at all. When the SIL
Not new at all. When the SIL became the target, she was labeled a drunk.
When MIL became the target, she was labeled a crazy old lady.
When FIL became the target, he was labeled something as well.
If dad had money that he had saved for years, why did he have his son remain with this group of misfits while he worked? If he had money, why didn't he rescue his son, get an apartment and hire a sitter?
It did not start with me.
It did not start with me. Some of this has been happening before me with the mother.
I have witnessed his mom trying to make things up and cause problems. She told me she is worried about her daughter and the whites of her eyes have been yellow. Why the hell she told me that I have no clue I told my SO about it and he was like o.k. weird and that is where it ended. I really think she was trying to play a game with me.
She knows my SO and I were concerned about her drinking several months back but things are really good now. Why would she bring that up to me? When I told SO and he said do not worry I was like ok and just let it drop.
I know it is really weird. My
I know it is really weird. My mother would have never done that either I am telling you I think she is playing games with me sometimes.
Even my own mother has said my future MIL has said things to her and she was like what? It is so weird and I do not think I could make this stuff up. Even though I know it sounds way out in left field because majority of people are not like that but I swear it is the truth.
Don't pm me to try to get me
Don't pm me to try to get me on your side.
I don't play that game.
I have friends here. There are SO many people I respect here. Omg & lol I don't even want to imagine where I'd be without them!
Your attitude is backwards. You won't change my mind.
You are looking at a total of 5bazillion years real life experience. It's a gift!! Use it. Lose your attitude you don't think you have.
I PM because there was stuff
I PM because there was stuff in there I did not want to share on the general board. Not to get you on my side. You obviously do not like me and that is totally fine. So if you do not like what I have to say stop commenting on my blogs.
Have you mind made up that I am some horrible person, that is ok at this point because you do not even really know me.
I would never share anything
I would never share anything private. Never.
I absolutely don't dislike you. I don't know you.
I do think that you're probably about the age of my sons & DIL's and I really think your young/dumb attitude is showing.
Until you realize you're not the be all end all for this family... i can't help you.
I think if you breathe... you'll realize... none of this is your problem. They handled it all before you existed.
I shared not 1 thing in that
I shared not 1 thing in that pm. And I won't.
You've been zero help to this girl.
How old are your son's? I am
How old are your son's? I am not dumb far from it. Again I know not my problem hence why I never brought it up after the first thing.
Somethings in the future will be problem as SO and SS and I all live in the same house.
Mine are 21-30. That is so
Mine are 21-30.
That is so hard to say... when I'm only 29!
Now, now Fruity... mil's also
Now, now Fruity... mil's also a demented drunk.
At my dad's house was happy
At my dad's house was happy hour every day. 5 o'clock. Damn Farmers. I miss it lol
I wouldn't make anything of
I wouldn't make anything of it, it's a non issue. Drop it, let it go, move along.
Yeah just thought it was odd
Yeah just thought it was odd is all. Was curious if it was just me thinking it was strange.
Seriously? Your SO just
Seriously? Your SO just packed up his and his son's belongs and moved into a new house with you. ok, so if these few things were so d*mn important to SO or SS why didn't Dad packed the items and bring them to his new home?
If my son had just moved out and left these few things I would assume he did not want them or that he was leaving these items for me.
If Dad wanted these items, and already moved, why is he leaving behind stuff for his mother (who is also packing and getting ready to move) to worry about and sort through and pack.
How long was your SO going to leave this kind of 'ever so important treasured mementoes' just laying around in his mother's way to pack and worry about?
Face it, you nor SO gave those few items a second thought or even remembered their existence until MIL boxed them up and handed them off to SIL. Now it's a big deal and now 'how dare MIL' attitude.
sheesh, your SO is a big boy. He should be long moved along with all his and son's stuff weeks ago. You wanna be angry and all huffy about MIL giving the stuff to AIL, well your SO is who you should be disappointed in. I guess these items left between didn't mean all that much to him, until you took offense and opened your mouth.
Thank you. I will try really
Thank you. I will try really hard to keep your words in mind when something happens again.
"Stretch much?" Not when OP
"Stretch much?"
Not when OP states this:
"Well we forgot it but I am sure we will get the stuff later. Mainly just the book I really think SO wanted it."
I am not angry or huffy. The
I am not angry or huffy. The stuff was stored away up in the attic I think. I honestly have no clue where it was I do know it was not in my SO's room or his son's room or where majority of his son's stuff was because all that was packed up and moved.
His parents are going through boxes and everything and finding last random items I am guessing. They had so much stuff in that house at one point and it was kinda organized but stuff was stored all over the place.
Hey I will have maybe a few random items at my parents house from when I lived there. I think all kids do. No a big deal. Just thought it odd.
Ash, let it go. It's good for
Ash, let it go. It's good for a child to have extended family that loves him.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS as I
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS
as I have been saying throughout your whole story, not your business, let it go.
Extended families are hugely important. Sounds like this kid saw his aunt more than most and was obviously close with grandparents since he was living with them.
There is NOTHING wrong with extended family - kids need them.
I did not say there was
I did not say there was anything wrong with the extended family and I really do stay out of things. I did let it go. I am not mad about it I really am not just thought it weird and was wondering what other people would think.
I am really nice to his family. I just vent on here.
Maybe the grandma was just
Maybe the grandma was just trying to justify offloading more junk onto the daughter since the daughter already got mad about it once. I also highly doubt your SS cares anything about his old school momentous, you could have just said "awww how cute, we will take those if you don't mind," if you wanted them so bad for yourself.
SO basically said that we
SO basically said that we just forgot to grab them as we were leaving. We were in a rush to get home after dinner.
Maybe that is what she was doing. Different perspective.
I only take ss to day care.
I only take ss to day care. That is it SO picks him up cooks dinner and here every night to put him to bed. D'S and I are both sleeping when he leaves for work. Maybe that got confusing or u did not make it clear. SO sleeps while SS is at say care once school starts he will sleep while he is in school he is around every night and all weekend.
He didn't leave him for a.month it was one week while we were so transitioning and his son was finishing up school.
I am not screwing anyone over all I do is vent on here or try to get feedback because I am new to this whole step parent thing. Honestly I get attacked because I am trying to navigate if things I think are really odd is kinda normal.
No I get attacked now for trying to set some boundaries woth my future in-laws and try to give me my SO and SS some space for the three of us to navigate living together without others always interfering.
Honestly very few have been helpful most generally many have made me feel like I should just basically let my in-laws run things and I just sit there and take it. I pay the mortgage in this place pretty sure I get to set rules. When I was in their house I never said anything about what D'S was allowed and not allowed to do. Not my house not my place. I do have rules in this house that SO and I both agreed on. He is more strict than me.
I stopped asking questions a long time ago his mom just tells me shit out of no where. I really stopped engaging in conversations with her too much one on one when her and her daughter both sat there on night and asked me what our plans are if my SO died. I avoided the question and changed the subject.
I am learning it is taking time. Yes they all drink a lot even my parents have said stuff to me about it. I know it was way less and not nearly as bad several years ago. Like I have said I think they are all having a hard time dealing with all this change and while I understand i do not feel that bad for them. They are all grown adults and his parents chose to move and sell their house.
I do not cut ties as I know SS is close to them and likes seeing them so I suck it up for him and it is my SO parents.
They were thanked for everything they have done and were shown appreciation. Yes they get on my nerves because they are very invasive and not at all what I am use to with my own family. I can let go the little things again just trying to navigate all this.
As many other posters pointed
As many other posters pointed out it's ok for family to help out and might not be a big deal to live with parents BUT it's very irresponsible to live with young child with drunks/manipulative/demented/unstable people and leave young child with them for days! It's very very neglectful. If SO wasn't actually broke and chose to live with and leave child with unstable drunks so he can save for down payment, then it's again very selfish and neglectful.
But if in reality these people aren't as horrid as described and are decent people, then he is being simply ungrateful putting his family down instead of being grateful. He sounds so disrespectful. If his family is as horrible as described on here he had no business to stay there with young child but then bash them later.
He doesn't this is me venting
He doesn't this is me venting and his mom is the one who was starting to become a problem before I met him. His sister was really good before I came along too. I think both females had some issues with me being around because SS started to like me and bond with me. I promise the relationship SS and I have just happened naturally.
I think that bothered them and instead of being mature adults about it they both started to drink alot when I was around. When SIL got bad to.the point it was upsetting SS SO talked to her and things got good again. Her and I are good now.
As for the MIL my SO had been complaining about her way before me. She is just that kind of mom very over bearing and invasive in to everyone's business.
His dad has always been good. Not perfect but not a drunk either he is very responsible. He let's loose now but everyone has moved out.
My SO has the respect for his parents and is very grateful for all the things they have done mainly his dad. His dad honestly did more help in raising SS than the MIL and SIL. It is a very strange dynamic.even my mom has said that my future MIL does not seem like a happy person. She never really says nice things about her kids.that is so true.
So I get why my SO has no patience for his mom she has done alot to help him be where he his bit at the same time she picks at him and likes fun at him. Points out things he is always doing wrong though they are not just in her mind. When he would set a rule for his son she was the first to ignore it at times. It was not always like this. SO said she was great before drinking and I agree those few weeks she let up she was a different person. Also just to note she when she had SS and it was just her she would not drink but maybe like a glass of wine.
Again things are not as horrible as they seem but my posts are simply just venting about some of the weirdest and craziest things I have seen his family that I think are odd so I come here for perspective. Usually I get torn apart and made to look like a stupid idiot who is trying to drive his parents away. Not the case.
Thank you StepAside. I know
Thank you StepAside. I know things will settle they did with the SIL and her and I are really good. I do not expect much from his family just some common respect at times. The BM just left that was all and his parents and family did not like her.
I understand the sister getting family heirlooms absolutely makes sense to me. I know one day I will get things from my mom like her wedding dress, her jewelry, and probably the family photos and all that other things.
Things have been much better and easier since we are now in our won house so it has been easier for me to set boundaries. The only one I have really set is I do not want them there during the week, I do not want even my own parents there during the week. It is just too hard.
Again thank you for the advice and I will try to be patient and let things settle.
I see Ash as young,
I see Ash as young, inexperienced in some of the settings she's been thrown into, uncertain on somethings and hell bent and determined on others. Like many new to all this stepfamily ins and outs , she's eager, trying too hard and wanting to please...the be all for everybody. Well, *we* all know she's climbing a mountain full of all kinds of booby-traps and lurking danger along with plenty of 'no matter what she does it wont be enough and/or please everyone'.
Some of the things, she takes way to seriously while, other things that should wave red flags , she misses. In about a year's time she went from carefree footloose Ash to instant family in her face and a kid at her side. And the family and kid at her side? None of them have lived the same way nor functioned in the same manner as to what Ash has. The whole thing has been like dropping Ash in a foreign country without knowledge of their ways, language and customs.
She's finding her way, she'll make mistakes, she'll learn lessons the hard way aka her way...but she will learn and grow and find her way. So far , she's miles ahead of some stepparents in that the child accepts her and is very open to having her in his life. A second plus side is she really doesn't have a BM in the picture to set sights on her as if she were the evil of all evil for merely existing. But she does have other issues. The grandparents and aunt , due to circumstances, having been given too large a roll in this child's life to just suddenly break off and expect everything to be smooth and unquestioned.
Eh, enough of my take. I just wanted to say I don't think this is a situation (in Ash's case) where she will never be accepted or that the family is just wishing her gone. I just think it's all so sudden and so new ( drastic changes quickly) that for everyone in Ash's world (the grandparents, the aunt, the father, the child and Ash, herself), they all will grow and adjust and eventually accept.
Thank you, This is all new to
Thank you, This is all new to me. Yes I agree drastic changes happened very quickly in our relationship and in this whole dynamic. It was all very sudden. My SO and I were put into a spot to make a big decision when his parents announced they bought a house in FL and that they were putting their house on the market very soon. It was either meet half way or break up. Obviously you see the choice we made.
Again thank you for the constructive view and take on things.