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asheeha's picture

Can't we just get through one freaking meal without whining and crying that they don't like the food. I used to get to eat like an adult but these kids have been raised on McDonald's and processed foods.


discfocused's picture

I had the same problem with my fiancees kids. I never gave them gross stuff like my parents did to me. My parents made me eat pea and bean soup. I would never expect my kids to eat that unless they really liked them. My fiancees kids always wanted nuggets and fries. I always make the dinners have one veggie and one fruit. fsd6 would eat pretty much any of it but fss9 wouldnt have none of it. SO we made the rule that he ate a small amount, or he could just go to bed and have nothing else. I added one thing at a time. SO first we did fruit. I got the kids cans to start with because for some reason the fun look of the can helps. After eating them 4-5 times, he started actually requesting them. So then we added veggies. He likes potatoes so we do that a lot but I also have them eat corn and green beans. It took him quite a few times, but he eats them really good now although he wont admit he likes them still. I only give them a small amount to start with. I also tell them it takes a few times to get used to stuff. If he complains about it, I tell him I can give him peas or broccoli instead and then he is pretty satisfied with the green beans or corn. I have also found a lot of good recipes on pinterest. They LOVE pizza casserole! That and some breadsticks and fruit are a great dinner. Dessert is also a big help. Let them know that unless they eat all their food there is no dessert. We have fin with it like making dirt cake. I let them crush up 2 or 3 oreos in a big and help make a box of chocolate pudding. They add their oreos to the pudding and you can also add 1 or 2 gummy worms. It keeps em busy and its great motivation. Or you can just do popsicles, make your own cupcakes or monkey bread. THere are all sorts of things you can do.

June's picture

My youngest SS (now 14) must have been allowed to dictate as a baby what he wanted to eat bc for as long as Ive known him he only eats : chicken & pizza. I have tried countless times and so has my DH to get him to eat other things but he just won't. Anytime we try to lay down some strict dinner rules like : you have to eat at least one veggie with dinner or you have to eat whatever we're eating or you get nothing- my DH caves bc he feels that his son only comes over 1-2 days a week and it shouldn't be spent being mad at each other. So basically we get nowhere. To this day the freezer is stocked with frozen pizza, chicken patties & hot pockets. He serves himself when he is hungry. I don't cook for him anymore.

3familiesIn1's picture

I got over this. For awhile I tried to make foods specific so they wouldn't complain, they still did. So screw it, I make what I like, I make enough for everyone and they can pick and pick and pick - its up to DH to make them eat or make them something else. At first DH was popping up like a jack in the box to make them something else. I just sat back and watched, ate my dinner in silence. Then DH soon tired of that and started to make them eat, they would scream and yell and whine.

Then i would calmly suggest, ' skid, if you are done, you can leave. ' DH didn't like that so I would calmly remind him that they seemed done and if they were hungry later there was lots of food. How can you argue with that? If DH said, well they don't like such and such then I would calmly suggest he pick a meal they like and was more than welcome to make it but I didn't recall a dinner order being put in.

I don't compensate special meals for all - over a period of months, the skids started eating and DH became more and more pissy about making them something special himself. So it worked out. Frankly, I don't care if they eat, I enjoy my meal.

Oh - i also leave the table when I am done and clear my dish - over time by leaving DH at the table with the skids alone to fight the battle made my life easier and his harder - so now he is busy trying to ensure they eat better so he isn't stuck alone. Nothing like being in the kitchen cleaning the pots listening to him fight with his kids.

LRP75's picture

I just flat-out stopped cooking AND grocery shopping for the SKIDS. I used to go out of my way to make sure there were foods in the house that they liked to eat. I even went so far as to make a spreadsheet of all fruits, veggies, meats, meals, etc. and talked to each person in the family so that I could find common foods. Yeah, I put a lot of effort into it.

Then the SKIDS starting pulling that one week they liked something, the next they wouldn't. Meaning, I would feel like I found something they liked (because they said they liked it or they ate a ton of it), so the next time they came - I would make sure there was plenty of that food on hand. Only to be told, "I don't like that."

Example, one weekend I watched SS10 eat 5 bananas in one day. I though, "Ah ha! He likes bananas."

So the next weekend, I made sure I had bananas in the house. Then, a moment comes along that he's trying to eat cookies for breakfast, I suggest he eat a banana first, which immediately turns into a war with him screaming at me that he, "HATES bananas." Then SD10 started piping in about something.

That was the straw that broke the camels back. I looked at both of them and simply said, "You know what? You win. You win this game of 'one weekend I'll like something and the next I won't just so we can give SM a hard time.' You win. Want to know what your prize is?"

The both looked at each other, then at me and said, "What?"

I said, "I will no longer grocery shop for foods you like, nor will I cook you any meal. I used to care that there would be foods in this house that you would like. I used to care about finding meals that you would like to eat. But, your behavior has changed that. I no longer care. I'm not interested in playing your game and I am not interested in being jerked around by the two of you. You win. You are on your own."

And you know what? I no longer cook for them. Nor do I make sure there are foods in the house that I KNOW they will enjoy eating or drinking. When I cook if they are here, I cook whatever it is that I want to eat, and I only cook enough for myself. And I eat it in front of them. And I enjoy every bite.

Newstep's picture

SD was like this at first she turned up her nose at everything I made. Scrunched up face picking at the food saying "what is this?" every freaking meal!!! I would tell her what is was and that was it nothing else. SO would make a big fuss explaining every last detail about the food and how it was prepared. It would drive me crazy!!! Now he gets pissy with her when she asks I just ignore it all. Funny thing is when she has friends over she asks me to make such and such for dinner because it's soooooo good :?

HadEnoughx5's picture

"Can't we just get through one meal without whining and crying..." Answer...NO

I make meals for my DH and bio's. If skids are over, no one sits down with them because they are rude and obnoxious. I will have food ready for DH and then he has to figure out what's for dinner for the whiners.

It's very discouraging when you put time into making a meal to hear them criticize it and then DH doesn't give them consequences or speak with them about how offensive they really are Sad

Shaman29's picture

Asheeha - I put up with a ton of whining and criticism from DH's kid the first 6 months we were married (and she lived with us). On top of the horrid table manners, all I heard was:

This is gross!
Can't we have sauce out of a jar next time? (this was after I made spaghetti one night, my own sauce)
I hate (whatever it is we're eating), can I have (whatever the crap du jour was that day)?

Add the gagging and fake vomiting to it and I was done. (I know I've mentioned this story before) The last time I joined them for dinner (while she was still living with us), she started gagging on whatever I made for dinner and acted as though she was going to hurl on the table. I had enough. I got up and went into the kitchen, grabbed the garbage can and brought it back to the table. I picked up her plate, dumped her food into the trash and then took the plate and garbage can back into the kitchen. I then grabbed bread, cheese and turkey and dumped them on her place-mat and told her to fix herself a sandwich and shut the F up for the rest of the meal.

After that, I stopped cooking for DH's princess and told him I didn't want her joining us for meals again. So I stayed late at work every night and he cooked crap food for her, she ate her crap food, he cleaned up and watched the news. When I got home, we'd (or he or I depending) would prepare dinner for the two of us, eat a quiet meal and clean up. His drone was not allowed to join for dinner.

Now this may not be possible for you to have two separate meals (one for the adults and one for the kids).

Another option. You don't have to put up with that kind of behavior. Every time I hear a kid whine at the table I think of my mother. We'd get smacked in the mouth (obviously the rap in the mouth is not a viable option) and sent to our rooms if we made any crappy comments about what was served. When it came to food, we were allowed to say please, thank you and no thank you. We were to try everything (given a small bit of something new to try), but if we didn't like it, then all we were allowed to say was I didn't care for (whatever it was) and that was it. If we liked it, then we had to finish what we already had and then we were allowed to have seconds of the new dish. No drama, no scenes and no criticizing the chef.

Alwayshangsinthere's picture

I really drained myself over this issue......I think it depends on how children are introduced to food. If they are given a variety of foods at an early age then they are more likely to be happy to try new foods. If their mum or dad just gives in when they throw tantrums about food then these situations will never improve. I made different meals for the three of us when ss came at weekends but soon as he said he didn't like or cried like the world was ending his dad just gave in. Eventually I sat down and discussed it, as I was worried about ss and future eating habits. For about 3weeks he was not allowed to leave table until he had eaten all his dinner which always consisted of healthy food. The first week was a nightmare and dinner lasted 3 hours but each time it got less and less Smile now though his dad has become lazy with it and just gives him nuggets and beans. I can't spend all my time trying to tell someone how to bring up their kid nor is it my responsibility anyway. All I can say is they reap what they sow!

asheeha's picture

thanks so much for all the ideas. the weekend has been bad bad BAD! dh is trying ever so slowly to drag himself out of the dog house. may have time to blog about it tomorrow. the kids whining and crying about food just got on my LAST nerve!

i'll definitely use some of these ideas though!

oh and you know what else...first night they were here the bathroom mirror had toothpaste smeared all over it! as though the child had brushed her teach, stuck her finger in her mouth and then smeared it haphazardly around the mirror!

guess what NOBODY did it! yeah...right.