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BM told skids to think about changing their last name to her boyfriend's

asheeha's picture

So, as far as I know BM isn't even engaged. But she's been dating this guy since September and the skids told DH that BM told them that when she and her boyfriend get married to "think about" changing their last name to his.

Is this normal? She can't legally change it, but since she has full custody she can make them go by it at school and other events.


asheeha's picture

The legal documents won't change but basically they can be called whatever name bm wants for the public. Jane doe cane easily be called Jane smith in the classroom at games everywhere except legal documents.

Dh is a great dad a very involved. Skids don't want name changed but aren't comfortable confronting bm. He will never allow it to happen legally. In our state he'd have to give up rights and let the new guy adopt them and he will never consent to that.

asheeha's picture

I don't think she's on drugs but for years I've thought she needed to be. She consistently does things that damage the skids and blames the damage she causes on dh.

AliceP's picture

IDK why people don't realize their children are human beings not playthings you can change. I hate women that chose the father for their child and weather he's a shitty guy or not think they can just drag these new people into their lives like they won't be effected. My red headed 100% irish DH had to go by the last name Gonzalez in school because his mom wanted him to have her new husbands last name. Hopefully laws have changed since then.

zerostepdrama's picture

Legally no.

In school, at sports, etc yes probably. BUT as an active dad, your DH can most def. tell the school that NO the skids should not be going by X name.

My niece went by my sister's and BIL's last name throughout most of school. BD wasn't around at all.BIL and sis got married when my niece was really young. Once she was older though she went by her legal name because it was easier. It was in the school system that way, etc. Honestly I think my sis should have just had it legally changed because I think it became confusing later on down the road.

I still refer to her by her my sister's last name. I know my BS was confused at graduation when they called her by her legal name. He does not know that BIL is not niece's bio dad and I think it would upset him.....

That's a whole nother story......