For those with minor sks and whose DHs don't speak with bm at all
How do they communicate on issues like education and medical that involve the kids, or anything involving the kids?
I read about this recently here.
- Anon2009's blog
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Education? not an issue with
Education? not an issue with my pathetic skids.
Medical? BM didn't notify us of a death.
And yet these are two parents who supposedly had a "good relationship".
But on a serious note:
How many medical and education issues does one have? Most kids get assigned a school to go to. They go, do their work and that's it.
And hopefully very few if any serious medical issues. I don't think parents need to have a two hour conversation over a kid having a common cold.
It's usually when there are major educational or health issues that one does need to have some communication. Most normal kids don't have a major issue every day. I know - few of us deal with normal.
Education - DH didn't need to
Education - DH didn't need to communicate with his ex about that.
Medical - BM was allowed to call DH in the event of a true emergency.
Same here. But otherwise,
Same here. But otherwise, they communicated through a "Parents Journal" which was just a notebook that was handed back and forth during the switch offs.
My ExH and I don't talk about
My ExH and I don't talk about anything. If there is medical bill that needs reimbursement, we send an email with the scan of the receipt attached. They have all been in the ER in the last 2 years and he did not come even when notified.
Education is my responsibility - he doesn't have them during the week to help with homework.
He has not attended any sporting events in 3 years so I do the driving on his weekends. I take the kids to their events and return them to him, other wise they wouldn't get to go. (One of my kids plays a competitive sport and is very good so I do this for her).
It can be done - I wish more than anything he was involved in their lives but he doesn't want to be and I can't make him so we just figure it out.
She just tells me. She and my
She just tells me. She and my husband don't like talking to each other, so I usually get the necessary info and pass it along.
BM is allowed to call the
BM is allowed to call the school and inquire about his learning and school events, she is allowed to come to any school event. BM can also call the doctors offices to inquire about SS medical. I will however be sending BM copies of the dentist bills that she has not paid her half of since SS starting going. BM has never called SS school or doctor to inquire on his status. BM just got out of prison and her visits are supervised so there's no talking there either. BM has tried to call DH and make nice to get her way. DH shut BM down before she could even go there. DH filed for his CS which is only $160. per month. It should be coming into effect soon. DH is not taking any bs from BM any more.
In case of a life or death emergency DH would call BM. But if its for stiches even a broke arm he would wait till its over then call. DH doesn't give BM the chance to be MOTY.
Why didn't your BF just take
Why didn't your BF just take his daughter to the doctor instead of just calling her mom?
IMO, That is not a co-parent issue that is a PARENT issue.
My FDH's primary mode of
My FDH's primary mode of communication with SS15's BM is via text message, or his parents speak with her as their house is the exchange point. SS is also old enough to communicate some things that are appropriate.
My sister is a step mom too
My sister is a step mom too and her husband & BM NEVER speak to each other. They only email each other. The BM will speak to my sister though. My DH & His ex email and speak in person.
I only feel this way because
I only feel this way because BM uses the skids as a regular excuse to talk to or text DH. it's her window to keep communication open with him for HER. We hear about every little shit that happens, and frankly, it's not necessary. Especially when it is about BM.
^^^ THIS. And SS is 18. :jawdrop:
Dh prefers that I handle that
Dh prefers that I handle that stuff. I don't care one way or the other, so I just do it. Give and take
In my case, Guilty Daddy was
In my case, Guilty Daddy was CONSTANTLY calling up BM for "advice" on stupid stuff such as how much tylenol to give (a. the dosage is on the label, b. I'm an experienced parent and know stuff like this anyway) This was in the misguided and lame attempt to "co-parent" with an extremely high conflict ex-spouse.
Reciprocally, the BM would deliberately commit acts of omission, keeping everything a secret: skids going to the emergency for pencil in the ear (had a contest of who could jam a pencil the farthest in one's ear--can you say ZERO supervision?) BM's remarriage to daddy bigbucks, BM losing her "business" after 12 long months--who knew you had to work HARDER when you have your own business? /s)
When the courts were involved (very little b/c Guilty Daddy would roll over every time) the BM would have a spurt of "co-operation and disclosure" but then it was back to keeping the school district from sending copies of report cards, etc.
He continued to give her all the power, authority and say so until it bit him in the arse. He now has ZERO communication with either the BM or the skids for the past four years. Total PAS out. Lesson: parallel parent, stand up for your parental rights (not befriend the skids or BM) or you WILL lose your children.