Stepparents going to minor SKs birthday parties
How do you feel about this?
From what I see on this board, it seems like a lot of minor SKs do not want their SPs there. And there also seem to be a lot of cases where the SPs and minor SKs do get along, and want the SPs there. My SDs like having me at their birthday parties and I like going to them. I love having my SF along for these sorts of things too and always have. My stepmother treats everyone, including her own husband (my dad), like dirt, but for the times she is present, I still figure out a way to have a good time anyway.
For those who don't want the SPs present, do you think the bio parent and stepparent should honor that, as it is the child's birthday, and the birthday boy/girl should get what they want? Or do you think the bio parent needs to say, "I understand that you feel this way and you are entitled to your feelings, but that doesn't give you the right to act them out or exclude anyone. How would you feel if you were dating/engaged to/married to someone and I excluded them from my birthday celebration or any other event?"
I personally would say that to my kids if I had any and we were in that situation. I think kids need to be taught from a very early age that all people should be treated with respect and their relationships should be treated with respect. And that someday, they likely will be in romantic relationships of their own and will want that person to be included and treated with respect. Plus, there will probably be many other family/friends there to interact with so it's not like they will have to give their sole focus to the SP, and the birthday kid can use this as a chance to catch up with people they're close to.