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Reaching out...

unbelieveable's picture

Has anyone read any books about Stepparenting? I won't set a wedding date because everything is such a mess. I have decided to pick up some books and I have been signed on the Barnes and Noble website forever trying to find a book that matches my situation and I have found quite a few. I have decided that I can no longer talk to FH about anything anymore. He just gets mad at me and says I am talking down to him. I'm not, I just need help and I don't know where to turn. My friends are married with their own kids or are not dating/engaged to anyone with kids. I just feel like a burden anymore and I don't want to "b*tch" about things but what else can I do? I have given everything my all and his family acts like I have NO say in anything. I am not included in anything and FH just "forgets" to tell me things? I'm just so confused...I just wish I could marry him....not everyone else. I also decided I will just be in charges when it comes to paying bills, our future house mortgage, etc. He won't have money until the kids are 18 and that is a lot of years away. I have also decided that BM will not be getting any help from me when it comes to college and braces. If I am not going to be included in their lives then why should help? They show no respect for me and everything is an argument...I have just decided I need to take care of myself and STOP trying so hard...so I guess it is what it is and this is my life now...

Comments

belleboudeuse's picture

Stepmonster, by Wednesday Martin. It's the bible.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

StepMadre's picture

I can't wait to read this! I have it on order from Amazon and am hoping for that Fed Ex knock everyday!!! I've noticed that you've recommended it to a bunch of people so I'm really excited to read it. Smile

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde

Snowflake's picture

Run!! You sound like an independant and caring woman. It doesn't get any easier. I really hate the "he is a package deal" bullshit!

Its like these guys hide their kids and their crazy ex's, and then whip them out as soon as you are falling for them. Really, you need to stop trying so hard. You know what... it is your darn house, you are in a marriage with your husband, not your husband and his crazy ex. You asolutely should have a say in how they are to be raised in your house. You are absolutely entitled to have a say!

herewegoagain's picture

I read books when DH and I began dating...I believe most are BS and written from the BMs point of view...or some idiot psychologist who thinks she lives in a perfect world...because nothing I read prepared me for the nightmare that eventually unfolded...

Eventually I read "ex-wives, ex-lives" and finally saw something that dealt much closer to reality than all the others...unfortunately, that was years later...had I read it before I got prego, I don't know that I would still be here...and believe me, he's a great man...amazing human being...but my sanity was not worth all the mess...

oceangirl3's picture

Unbelievable, I feel the exaxt same way you do. I just feel like a huge burden to my boyfriend now. Everything I do goes unnoticed or just is not good enough now. All though I am in the position of not being able to contribute financially as much as I would like to. Believe me this has me stressed beyond belief and then with everything else going on I feel like I am losing my mind and myself! You are not alone and I just wanted to let you know I know what you are feeling. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, but I am glad to see that I am not.

GeekySM's picture

No One's the Bitch
StepWives
Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives, Battling the Ex
StepCoupling
Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife
Joint Custody with a Jerk
Custody for Fathers
Divorce Poison
Ex-Etiquette Series