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ILs hanging with bm

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 4:17pm

I don't think anyone should attempt to dictate or express their feelings on whom other adults hang out with unless the situation is really drastic. That includes ILs hanging out with bm. While some may consider ILs not hanging out with bm as ILs observing proper boundaries, others may feel that they still want to be friends with bm. And adults shouldn't be telling other adults who they should associate with.

Comments

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 4:29pm

Lol, I couldn't care less if MIL and BM hang out. They've known each other a long time. Not my concern.

GoldenGoose's picture

Submitted by GoldenGoose on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 5:23pm

Beautifully put. I feel the same way. BM1 still calls MIL, "momma." MIL and BM1 still get together. I don't care. What I do care about is that BM1 feels the need to try and rub it in my and DH's face. Before I blocked BM on FB, she would post pics of the get-togethers on SIL and BIL's FB. They would have their verbal love-fest. We told MIL how we felt. She has continued to have this relationship with BM despite the continued shit-stirring. We opted, instead of bringing this up again and again, to separate ourselves from the equation. MIL has verbalized her displeasure that I have made the choice not to attend family functions. I guess her wants are more important than mine. Shrug.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 5:34pm

It will be a cold day in hell before my inlaws speak to BM. BM took good care of that issue for us Wink

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 6:47pm

You know... I am on the fence.

With my EX I don't care if my family talks to him, is FB friends with him, text or call him. It doesn't really matter to me, because it has always been an amicable divorce. His mom calls me to get the girls shoes sizes, ask for ideas for gifts (mind you she LIVES with EXh, so really... I don't know why she doesn't just KNOW this but whatever) we are friendly. However, if it was an UGLY divorce and there was bickering between us, I would feel betrayed by my family if they engaged in ANY kind of relationship with him. My family is pretty goodabout boundaries and really keeps it to FB and a friendly conversation if they happen to see him. Although, I did have to ask one of my sisters to take down our wedding picture a few weeks before mine and DH's wedding... we were engaged for 4 years. I figured it was time.

Now... with BM. There is just no trust. DH's family hates her anyways so it won't happen. But many many times in the past she tried to turn MIL against me... tried to talk shit to SIL. All kinds of fun stuff. So even though BM and I are friendly NOW, she is still not allowed to have a relationship with DH's family. YES, I said NOT ALLOWED. She lost the priviledge. And DH has no problem telling her this.