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How often does your DH/SO See his kids?

Anon2009's picture

This popped up in my mind as it seems as though it varies on this board.

Does he see them often? If so, why?

Does he not see them at all, or not often? If so, why, and what is he doing to change it?

My DH sees his kids daily except for 4 days a month when they are with BMs parents. We have custody of them.


Tuff Noogies's picture

Original CO is EOWE and one evening a week. For a long time we had them 50/50 - because he was thrilled to get as much time with them as possible. Now is up in the air - because of PAS'ing... Sad

Pinki3663's picture

My SO sees his children EOW and a few hours on Mondays and two weeks in the summer. Well that is what the CO says, she dumps them off anytime she gets a chance, so we get them through their week breaks from school and who knows what we will have for the summer. I am so hoping SO sticks to the two weeks, I will go insane if it is anymore than that.

xtina's picture

my SO has his one son every other week and then his other one every other weekend (same weekends as other kid)

Why? I have no idea why. I certainly don't want to spend that much time with them so I don't see why he does }:)

whatwasithinkin's picture

Does he see them often? If so, why? SD16 lives with us, SD13 lives 500 miles away. He see's her every other holiday, and 30 days during the summer. Well that is when BM doesnt short him weeks and visitation.

Does he not see them at all, or not often? If so, why, and what is he doing to change it?
Dh will never do anything to change it unless I push the proverbial button to do so. Huge sticking point in our relationship. DH doesnt do anything or hold any "his girls" (his two daughters or BM)accountable for anything apparently.

TASHA1983's picture

My BF has his S11 EOWE (Sat-am to Sun-pm) & every Wednesday for 2 hours. THANK GOD it isnt any more than that because I can't stand his kid and my BF knows this and understands how I feel. It is such a relief to be with a man that is on the same page as me in regards to how we deal with the skid/bm bullshit and drama. The stories I read on here about these guilty Disney dads sends chills up my spine!

xtina's picture

I'm so jealous of you!!!!! I wish my SO didn't want his kids around! Honestly, they are not cute, they don't say or do anything cute, they have no personalities!!! I don't get what he sees in them :sick:

xtina's picture

I'm so jealous of you!!!!! I wish my SO didn't want his kids around! Honestly, they are not cute, they don't say or do anything cute, they have no personalities!!! I don't get what he sees in them :sick:

xtina's picture

I'm so jealous of you!!!!! I wish my SO didn't want his kids around! Honestly, they are not cute, they don't say or do anything cute, they have no personalities!!! I don't get what he sees in them :sick:

BSgoinon's picture


mom2011's picture

Every other weekend - gets her Friday night when he gets off 2nd shift (at 10 PM) drives her the 45 minutes back to our house, has to have her at church first thing Sunday AM. So, in all reality every other Saturday.

He doesn't think he can get any more time with her. He doesn't even see her for holidays because BM always wants her. He was apparently told by a lawyer once upon a time that he had no chance in hell of getting more visitation and he should just be happy with whatever the BM decides to give him.
I happen to know that he can get MUCH more visitation time, but I don't care to bring it up because I don't really want her around my house anymore than she has to be. Sometimes I feel bad because I know he wants to see her, but he doesn't even spend time with her when she is at our house so I guess I don't feel that bad!

hismineandours's picture

Dh hasnt seen ss14 since September. And that was because they ran into each other at a family funeral. He doesnt visit with ss at all-he's 10 minutes away from us. Why? IDK nor do I care.

We've had all sorts of custody/visitation scheduled over the years so teh amount of contact he has had with ss has really varied. Dh gained custody of ss when he was 1. He lived with us from ages 1-9.5. He lived with bm from 9.5-13. During that time dh saw him eowe unless he was deployed, of course. At 13 he moved 10 minutes away from us to my mil's and visits ceased. He lived there for 7 months, moved in with us for 4 months, and then moved back with mil-so again no visits.

I truly dont know what the "reason" is for no visits. The first time he lived with mil-dh tried to arrange a visitation schedule with her, told her we wanted him on Sundays every week-she agreed to do half the transport, he told ss14 as well-and he came over exactly once and then never again. Again, I dont know why. My mil told dh that she didnt feel like bringing him. This was always after the fact-up until the time he was to arrive she'd say she was bringing him. If dh asked ss why he wasnt visiting-ss would say, "I forgot". Dh tried confronting them both on the no show visits 3-4 times and since all they gave was excuses he eventually stopped saying anything about it.

This time, ss visiting wasnt even discussed. He mentioned in his typical T-giving call (in prep for xmas) that he would like to start visiting again-but then dh has not heard from him since. Nor did he hear from him months prior. Just that one lone phone call. I am expecting a call-oh, probably on Friday-saying that he would like to visit. He did visit for 10 minutes last xmas to pick up his gifts.

onebright1's picture

Nutburger has custody :?
SO sees them EVERYDAY.
all 5 Skids sleep here 3 nites EVERY week and those 3 nites ALWAYS include Fri and Sat.
SO is a Pasty .

misSTEP's picture

CO says every other weekend. Every other holiday. If a day off school falls on Friday or Monday and it is DH's weekend, he gets the extra day as well. Two weeks in the summer.

In reality, he sees them...never. BM has either PASed them, bribed them or otherwise made their lives so uncomfortable that they choose not to have much of a relationship with their dad.

RedWingsFan's picture

In the beginning, when DH and BM split, SD was 11. Since she was already so spoiled and both of them let her be in control of everything, they allowed HER to choose her schedule. It was all up to an 11 yr old spoiled rotten kid. So at first, it was every other DAY. That continued for a year and a half. I met DH and SD just after she'd turned 12 and she would just come over to DH's anytime she wanted because she could walk to his apt.

When he asked me to move in with him and his lease was up, we got our own apartment 5 miles away from BM's. SD went to EOW (DH would pick her up Friday after work and drop her off to BM's the following Friday), for the most part. It was never followed quite to a "T". Then she decided that since I was going anywhere and DH was putting his foot down and changing her mini wife behavior, that she only wanted to come over every other weekend and have dinner with him alone on Tuesdays.

Now, it's NOTHING unless HE forces her, which he won't do. It's fine by me, I just hate what she's doing to him. He WANTS to spend time with her and see her but she ignores him and cancels their plans. It's sad for him but good for me. I can't stand the manipulative little twit.

Newstep's picture

Sounds like my SD!!!! Except she still comes over EOWeek. Blum 3 When they first split it was all up to her where she wanted to be. Both BM and SO would run around like idiots accommodating her whims. We started dating and I moved in and the schedule was EOWeek and that was that. SD hated it because she wasn't in control and now she has gotten used to it. Mainly because SO found his balls and doesn't let her run the show anymore. She still tries though and it makes me sick :sick: :sick: :sick:

ecgirl's picture

FDH sees SD7 and SS6 two weekends on, one off, so approximately 6 days a month, their mother is a little crazy about this schedule and how it MUST always happen this way until she makes plans otherwise. *eyeroll* Sometimes he sees SD9 more often and sometimes less, her Mom really just lets us have her when its convenient for her. We get them pretty much as often as he can. We don't see them during the week because he works really unpredictable hours, so he is off work at 3pm today and 10pm tomorrow. Hard to make any other plans. He also works some Saturdays so we lose the Friday evening/Sat morning with the kids when that happens (SS6 needs special care that I can't do over this time). I have offered to take SD7 and SD9 if mothers will drop them but they won't.

blending2012's picture

Wow, this thread is really depressing Sad
It seems like BMs fall into one of two extremes... either a) wants nothing to do with her own kids or b) wants them all the time and will not share with BD. I am a BM and an SM and I can tell you that it is soooooo nice to have a break. My own kids see their dad the "typical" EOW and Wednesday night overnight. It is good for the kids to have time with their dad and it is SO NICE for me to be able to grocery shop without kids, go out to dinner with a friend, go for a run - whatever. Why don't all BMs like to share? I don't get it.

As for my DH, we have his kids 4 out of 7 nights a week and that is a really nice schedule too. Just enough breaks that I don't want to jump out a window. I'm not sure how nice it is for his kids though - because the days are never consecutive so they must feel like they move around a lot Sad

DaizyDuke's picture

DH hasn't seen, nor talked to SD14 since August (her choice) but I think MIL is conspiring to get them "together" for Christmas.. ugh! DH sees SS13 about once a month or so. He's never had any kind of visitation agreement with either BM, it's always been, if the skids call and want to come over, DH goes and gets them. Since they gotten older, they can't be bothered with their father, which is hunky dory with me.

Did I just say hunky dory? Wink