OT - Worst Date
What's the absolute WORST date you've had? Mine was a blind date and I still shudder at the thought!!
I worked with a gal whose brother called her at work and I often answered the phone. He had a GREAT voice and we'd make small talk until she was available. Anyhoo, one day, she said, "Ernest was wondering if you'd like to go out some time." Yes. Ernest. Shoulda said NO straight away! I asked her about Ernest. He was divorced, no kids, and "looks like me, but he's skinnier". She was very pretty and in great shape! I said Yes.
This was back in the 80s and I was TOTALLY into punk rock: black mini skirts, black leather jacket, black leather fingerless gloves, black leather ankle boots, black lipstick, black eyeliner, black wings sprayed in my hair.... But punk rock was my SECRET lifestyle. One friend knew and when we went clubbing, NO ONE knew who I was. It was great!!
Date Night arrived. I dressed in my public persona: pale pink mini skirt, white blouse, oversized pale pink jacket, white nylons, pink ballet flats, hair pulled back and tied with a big pink bow (stop gagging!!!). I'm looking out the window of my apartment, watching for my date. This beat up, dark gray Chevy Nova pulls in and parks. I just KNEW it was my date. The guy who got out was wearing dark gray WORK pants and ~gulp~ a PUMPKIN ORANGE long-sleeved shirt. He was skinny...except for that big ol' beer gut hanging over his belt. Looked like he'd SWALLOWED a biga$$ pumpkin whole. I decided to NOT judge a book by its cover and soldier on. After all, he did have that sexy radio voice...
He opened the car door for me...because he didn't want me to touch the inside of the door and get grease on my hand. Great. I'm wearing white and pale pink. Kudos for that, at least.
We're almost to the restaurant and I finally notice the huge JOINT in his ashtray.
Over salad, he starts talking about his ex-wife. I'd never dated a divorce guy before, so I thought nothing of it. Except that's ALL he talked about...
We'd just ordered dessert and he's STILL talking about his ex. Except now he's talking about how he'd smacked her around a few times because, well, sometimes women just need to be hit. What.The.F*ck.
I downed my drink, wiped my mouth, put down my napkin, said, "Thanks for dinner" and stood up.
"Where are you going??"
"Anywhere away from you."
"Because you're a f*cking A$$HOLE. If you ever hit me, I'd rip your d!ck off and shove it down your throat. Get therapy."
I walked to the bar, used the phone to call my Dad. They let me hang out in the kitchen so Dad could pick me up at the back door.
And can you believe that f*cker was ENAMOURED of me?? Told his sister what a great time he had, what a wonderful gal I was, blah, blah, blah. I liked HER and didn't want to tell her what a POS her brother was (after all, she was higher on the food chain at work and had the potential to be my boss one day...), so I simply told her that there was no spark for me. That ba$stard hounded me until I had to change my phone number.
First and LAST blind date I ever had. Gads!!!