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OT - Women Wednesday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Men are welcome to comment, too! This is more of a blog to remind myself that I made the choice to learn and grow during the chaos. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride and I haven't always been successful, but I've definitely come out on top. 

We've been dealing with the stress and strain of the pandemic/quarantine for over a year now. Some areas have opened up and are going full speed ahead while others continue to have restrictions and closed/limited access. And while things ARE moving forward, we have experienced loss - jobs, businesses, loved ones. 

My DH experienced almost no changes at work and is a total homebody, so things have been relatively normal for him. My job went remote late March 2020 (BIG change for me). And while I'm not a social butterfly, there are a handful of things I've missed. 

  • The most awful thing for me in the last year has been the loss of loved ones compounded by not being able to attend their funerals. There is nothing anyone can do with Zoom to compensate for not being able to say a final goodbye. And no matter how big or bold the font, no written HUGS can make up for not being able to physically touch those who are hurting. 
  • The saddest thing has been the giant chasm that opened between my sister and me (I touched on that in another blog). She was my biggest confidante and best friend. It has made for some lonely times when I've felt the need to share something woman to woman. 
  • The best thing has been the strengthening of my marriage. Don't get me wrong - DH and I are going strong and nothing (since I found STalk!) has happened that we have remotely considered splitting. Rather, we found that when the chips are down in a big way, we are 1000% committed to being a team. 

 

I've learned things over the course of the last year (plus some)...

  • When you cannot touch someone physically, you can touch them with words and actions. A handwritten letter is so much better than an email or text. A phone call, even more so. 
  • I am more self-reliant that I realized. The absence of my confidante has made me dig down deeper into myself and I've become more self-aware. Let's just say that, while we weren't too keen on one another for many years, Me, Myself, and I have finally become good friends. 
  • I am still astounded by the depth of love my husband has for me, but even more so by how it has grown. I've become stronger because of his support and we have grown stronger supporting each other. We're feeling quite alpha-wolfish.

 

Again, I'm not a social butterfly, but definitely missed some things. I darn near did a happy dance - in public! - when I saw the salad bar was reopened at the grocery store. Woo hoo! 

Something that surprised me is that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. Seems I'm not as fat as I think I am... Showed pics to DH, a couple of friends, and my doctor of what I think I look like. What I see in the mirror is distorted. Hello, BDD! Nothing like adding to the collection (OCD, ADHD, etc...). So I entered into a toxic - and short - relationship with online shopping and have a new wardrobe. I still feel fat, but I'm looking fat and happy. *yahoo* Sexy has been mentioned a lot lately. *blush* I guess confidence can do that to you...

 

So I leave you with this (and please feel free to share and add!)...

Hate has 4 letters, so does Love.

Enemies has 7 letters, so does Friends.

Lying has 5 letters, so does Truth.

Negative has 8 letters, so does Positive.

Under has 5 letters, so does Above.

Cry has 3 letters, so does Joy.

Anger has 5 letters, so does Happy.

Right has 5 letters, so does Wrong.

Hurt has 4 letters, so does Heal.

It means life is like a double-edged sword... so transform every negative side into an aura of positivity. We should choose the better side of life. 

Comments

Stepdrama2020's picture

I wish there were heart emojis with the like button.

I agree lady this pandemic has taught us so dang much. So glad your confidence is soaring and sexy you has re emerged.

I have worked throughout the pandemic so that part has not changed.

Lonely and single is hard especially during this. BUT i love myself, very much.

Coming on here I learned that kicking the ex out so he can be with BM and his lover SD did a world of good for me. 

From my childhood til now I am a survivor, and this last year has taught me how strong I am. Heck talking to myself aint so bad, cause I am always right/

Cheers to all the strong ladies and gents on here weathering the storm of step life and for the ones who left the after shocks. (akin to a earthquake after shock).

Aniki you have virtual BFF's on here. Maybe one day your sister and you will reunite. Never say never. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Stepdrama2020, I haven't thought of myself as sexy in many years. It's flattering to hear people see me that way when I don't! However, confidence IS a sexy thing, so... 

I'm willing to bet your mental health is much stronger without your ex. You show it here regularly. 

Thank you, sweetness! *kiss2*  I'll never say never, but it won't be the same. The elephant in me doesn't forget. 

Gimlet's picture

Something that surprised me is that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. Seems I'm not as fat as I think I am... Showed pics to DH, a couple of friends, and my doctor of what I think I look like. What I see in the mirror is distorted.

It made my day to read this, Ani.  I am so glad you got some news clothes and you are learning to see yourself as the gorgeous and wonderful woman you are.  If anyone deserves that, it is you.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Thank you, dear friend! In the past, DH has told me I look pretty when I dress for an outing, but I'm now hearing it every day! We did some city shopping over the weekend (WI is wiiiiiide open) and he held my purse while I tried on shoes. Even more shocking? He picked out shoes for me to try on and said nothing about me owning too many! Shok

NjororsDaughter's picture

I not understand all you post.. some slangs there??

Very much liking the words ending as is truth. Positivity best always. Not easy but best. Smile

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ja, det er noe slang. Send meg en privat melding. *give_rose*

Yes, positivity IS the best!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Aw, shucks. *kiss2*

It's been a journey, advice.only!

24 years as a SM's picture

Many of our friends thought DAH and I were crazy for the amount of food storage that we have. We were always teased about being preppers and expecting the dooms day end of the world. When Covid hit and everything was shut down, a lot of our friends found out just how hard it was to buy essentials. Now most have learned to stock up on basic essentials, just in case.

It's nice to have the verification that all the food storage helped in the lockdown. We figured out that we also need MORE food and essential storage, if things go to sh*t again. Yes, we are prepping a larger veggie garden and hoarding as many canning jars that we can find. 4 cases of toilet paper already in the storage and 2 more ordered. If things stay "Normal" I won't have to buy toilet paper for the next 5 years. *acute*

DAH learned that he doesn't have to be on the go all the time, he has learned to enjoy being at home, puttering around the property. He has also figured out that most of California has gone to sh*t with all the drug and homeless issues.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

24, I hear you! I am my mother's daughter and have always kept a pantry full of staples. It's simply habit from growing up in a large family. That, and my DH's urging to stock more, panned out. For months, some of the basics were either unavailable or only obtainable in small quantities. Places were selling toilet paper by the roll - 2-ply, but regular-sized rolls and a limit of 2. No regular flour for several weeks and I couldn't buy any kind of rice except jasmine for MONTHS. It was insane. I was amused that Chef Boyardee was nowhere to be found until Fall (sure doesn't taste as good as when I was a kid). My DH luuuuuuuvs Spam and couldn't get any of that for months, either. Crazy. However, there were plenty of canned veggies on the shelves (and fresh), but frozen was snapped up within minutes. One of the best things that came out of this craziness is that I've expanded my cooking skills. Greek, Cuban, Malaysian, Indian... it's been fun and I have quite a few new recipes!

Good for your DAH! Being on the go all of the time is not good for a body. Sadly, there are a number of places I (we) wanted to visit, but now cannot see myself going. Sad

caninelover's picture

Strangely I found much contentment during the pandemic.  With my relationship with SO, with my life and with myself.  I gained a few pounds over the course of things and I'm ok with it. No obsessive exercising, weighing myself, or eating twigs and berries for weeks.  I learned simplicity is something I really crave.

As things open up I feel less and less concerned with getting back to 'doing' stuff and more happy just being, well, alive.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Caninelover, like you, I feel less concerned about getting back to 'doing' stuff. I just bought a new sewing machine (the old one kept sporadically spurting oil) to make a cocktail dress (fancy wedding) and plan to make new pillow covers for the daybed. Also bought a beginner's crochet book and am looking into small butter churns!

caninelover's picture

I have a whole list of crafts I want to explore when I have the time - baking, knitting, picking up my flute again, painting.

I've been planning for an early retirement for many years now but always had a concern that I would end up bored with all the free time on my hands.  The pandemic made me realize that not only will I not be bored but that "un-busy-ness" is something I am really looking forward to.  In fact I get annoyed with people that run around and constantly talk about how busy they are.  Not for me anymore.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Sounds wonderful! I keep all of our old jeans and plan to make a beach "quilt" out of them. I may try my hand at a denim rug...

Have you noticed that some of those people are busier talking about how busy they are than actually doing anything other than talk? *dirol*

caninelover's picture

Yes, usually the ones flapping their gums are not really busier than the average person - they are just time-wasters.  Bratty is definitely in that category LOL.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Imagine if they spent a quarter of that gum flapping doing something productive...

Watereddown's picture

Good read! Thanks Aniki.

I stopped using my piano as a table and started playing again. Found myself creating a new piece in my head last night. Guess I better order some music sheets if I'm going to compose. *biggrin*

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I used to play piano! Carpal tunnel put an end to my playing days. Before it was surgically corrected, I got divorced. No room for one now. I DO miss it. I wish a portable piano existed like the one in Star Trek Next Gen - the one Daren plays and does a duet with Picard and his Ressikan flute. Smile